yeah great stuff evil eye - i was just doing an edit here and you definitely did the breakdown part. smash, definitely check that out for aweosme breakdown reference. (and speaking of reference yeah references are always helpful!)

i was also going to mention that the lighting on your shoulder from that ominous back lighting was too severe on the skin. maybe you can get away with it a bit more on the hair, but it looks a little funky - also you are using some bright highlights back there which make it look brighter than the primary light source which can make for some confusion to the viewers eye
more importantly the structure needs a lot of attention - i cant really break it down for you better than evil eye step by step, but i just applied some of those concepts to your existing girls face - sort its a bit rough, i didnt really want to go through and make it pixel perfect.
the chin and cheek line are aligned too far right compared to what the rest of your facial features would suggest. l so i gave i a bit more volume on the right side to even this out, and adjusted the positions of the eyes, nose and mouth slightly to get them more aligned. next i think the neck width should be a bit thinner, also check your alignment with where it attaches to the head (ala evileye's example). The hair line was also inconsistent with the rest of the face's angle, it needs to come further to the left (even on my edit its still a bit too far right) so that the center of the part acts as the centerline of your face.
palette wise i wouldnt really use those blue hue values in the skin tone, it tends to drain out all the warmth the blood under the surface of the skin would otherwise provide. reserve those blue values for your back lighting and it should really balance out the piece's hue balance. Whites of the eyes are never that white, i like to use one of the brighter skintone values for this. Also i adjusted the lightest skintone's hue to shift more in the direction of orange/yellow rather than being so red. reason being is that your next value is a big shift in t hat direction anyway so it makes that transition less jarring.
Another fun trick with skin, particularly with female skin, is to keep the skin values fairly light, not too much contrast. let the edges (linework) in the portrait use your darkest values