AuthorTopic: WIP: Motel Scene (Looking for criticism)  (Read 638 times)

Offline Zizka

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WIP: Motel Scene (Looking for criticism)

on: April 15, 2018, 04:30:24 pm
First version:


Current version:


Hello!

So basically I'm looking for suggestions, ideas, criticism, anything really. I've run out of ideas and I can't those roof tiles to look good either.

Thank you!
« Last Edit: April 18, 2018, 03:11:15 pm by Zizka »

Offline eishiya

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Re: WIP: Motel Scene (Looking for criticism)

Reply #1 on: April 16, 2018, 02:14:42 am
The sidewalk is too narrow to fit both the stairs and the balcony above it. If the ground storey is meant to stick out further than the upper one, then the window and door shouldn't be obscured by the balcony.

The orange roof contrasts strongly against the rest of the scene, which is blue. If it's not an important element, I recommend making it a less contrasting colour. Just reducing the saturation a bit could work. Perhaps making the rest of the scene less overwhelmingly blue would also help, not just with the contrast, but with making it feel less dull overall.
It looks strange to me that the upper story walkway isn't covered. The roof should overhang it. You can still keep most of it visible by having the ceilings be a bit high (which is normal anyway).

The scene feels very empty and artificial, there aren't any details that suggest that this is a "real" place. A few ideas:
- railings on the stairs.
- the tiles upstairs could fit the perspective better by being horizontal rectangles rather than squares.
- poles/columns holding up the balcony and connecting the upper railing to the balcony/roof above.
- windows for the rooms. Motel rooms typically have a window right next to the door.
- a border on the pavement
- more doors and windows downstairs. They don't have to be motel rooms (though downstairs motel rooms are the most popular ones!), they can be service rooms and the like.
- signage, especially downstairs. It doesn't need to be readable. For example, is the downstairs room the office? Label it, have a list of opening hours, have chotchkies and a price list in the window.
- segmentation in the pedestrian pavement, that stuff is usually poured in sections. When it's not, it's usually built out of setts or tiled, which are alternate detail ideas, but probably too fancy for a motel.
- cracks in the pavement, potholes, drains.
- lighting/shadows. The lamps are on, is it night time? Make those lamps be the main light source, perhaps with an orange fill light from street lamps out of frame. Is it day time? Have the balcony and other elements cast shadows.

Offline MysteryMeat

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Re: WIP: Motel Scene (Looking for criticism)

Reply #2 on: April 16, 2018, 07:13:53 am
shorten the guardrail on the top balcony, as is it's too big and makes it look like train tracks!
PSA: use imgur
http://pixelation.org/index.php?topic=19838.0 also go suggest on my quest, cmon
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Offline Vinik

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Re: WIP: Motel Scene (Looking for criticism)

Reply #3 on: April 16, 2018, 04:47:37 pm
I think that by this perspective the hood of the car shouldn't be visible at all. The balcony would likely case some sort of shadow, and eishiya was faster than me suggesting poles/pillars for the balcony, currently the lack of connection to the ground does not help the viewer to read the perspective and distinguish between the vertical e horizontal planes.

Also, the sidewalk below the balcony should be twice as deep considering the depth of the stair + the depth of thr balcony. If you prefer to keep how wide is the sidewalk, then it should start deeper into the background and end just before the edge of the stair where it meets the ground.
« Last Edit: April 16, 2018, 04:53:18 pm by Vinik »

Offline GoodyPundit

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Re: WIP: Motel Scene (Looking for criticism)

Reply #4 on: April 17, 2018, 02:30:32 am
First of all, good job Zizka!  :lol:
I think the big part is covered by most of the replies, but let me added some basic part also  :)
-Many similar color (car, parking ground, 1st floor) & (door and 2nd floor)
-Try a better & simple  car angle

Have fun!

Offline Zizka

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Re: WIP: Motel Scene (Looking for criticism)

Reply #5 on: April 17, 2018, 05:26:45 pm
Gah! I didn't receive notifications so I went ahead and did this without having access to your feedback everyone. I'll read them right away and add them in the next version. Sorry about that. If you have extra comments about this version, please do go ahead so I can add also add them in the next version.

Offline MysteryMeat

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Re: WIP: Motel Scene (Looking for criticism)

Reply #6 on: April 17, 2018, 05:43:55 pm
the edge of the motel is far too sudden, it especially makes the staircase look like it is supported by nothing.
try adding some kind of dividing wallcap so that you can see there's an end to the building there
PSA: use imgur
http://pixelation.org/index.php?topic=19838.0 also go suggest on my quest, cmon
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Offline Zizka

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Re: WIP: Motel Scene (Looking for criticism)

Reply #7 on: April 17, 2018, 08:47:35 pm
While I certainly agree with you, I don't really understand how to do it. Could you provide an edit or another example to guide me please?  :y:

Offline eishiya

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Re: WIP: Motel Scene (Looking for criticism)

Reply #8 on: April 17, 2018, 09:39:35 pm
Have a wall jut out on the end, or maybe even have a corner room. At the very least, there should be a railing on that side. The pavement should probably also wrap around the side instead of just suddenly ending; there are things behind the motel that people surely want to reach - additional/employee parking, service rooms, dumpsters.

You can also make the transition more natural by breaking up the silhouette of the motel so it's not just a straight line. Have the roof stick out, make the pavement imperfect. Add a post or a jutting element on the corner, where the walls bear most of their weight. Have a sign sticking out the side. Have the dumpsters there. Think about what this place is, how it's built, and how it's used; there are so many possibilities for solving these kinds of problems.

When in doubt, look at real motels, real architecture. You have the Internet at your disposal, so you don't have to rely on vague memories and conceptualizations.


The motel has a realistic scale to it, but the trees look like RPG-style symbol trees, so they look out of place.

Offline Zizka

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Re: WIP: Motel Scene (Looking for criticism)

Reply #9 on: April 18, 2018, 03:10:30 pm
I just had a long message where I quoted every single part of your messages and replied to it but I closed my window by accident.

Here's the new version anyway, you'll see most of what was mentioned has been addressed. I haven't gotten around to fixing what was mentioned in eishiya/Mystery Meat last messages though, that'll be next. I'm talking about the trees here and the motel wall problem.

The new version: