You know that feeling when you've been hanging out with someone for months, but you realize you have absolutely no idea what kind of cereal they like or if they’d rather live in a lighthouse or a city penthouse? It's weird. We spend so much time talking about "the grind" or the news, yet we miss the tiny, granular details that actually make up a person's identity. That's exactly where 100 favorite things questions come into play. It’s a bit of a throwback to those Myspace bulletins or middle school slam books, but honestly, it works.
People are complicated.
We tend to hide behind polite small talk because it's safe. But asking someone about their favorite smells or the best sandwich they’ve ever eaten? That’s where the real connection starts. It’s less about the "what" and more about the "why." If someone says their favorite season is autumn because they love the smell of decaying leaves and woodsmoke, you’ve just learned more about their sensory world than any LinkedIn profile could ever tell you.
The psychology of why we love sharing our favorites
There is actual science behind why we like talking about ourselves. A study from Harvard University researchers, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, found that self-disclosure triggers the same pleasure centers in the brain as food or money. When you go through a list of 100 favorite things questions, you aren't just "gathering data." You are literally giving the other person a dopamine hit.
It’s self-affirmation.
When I ask you about your favorite childhood memory, I’m giving you permission to revisit a happy place. Most of our daily conversations are transactional. "Did you send that email?" or "What’s for dinner?" are functional but dry. Switching gears to "What’s your favorite way to spend a rainy Sunday?" shifts the brain from task-mode to reflection-mode. This is why these lists go viral every few years. We are desperate to be seen, not just for what we do, but for what we love.
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Getting the most out of 100 favorite things questions
If you’re going to sit down and actually go through these, don't make it a deposition. Nobody wants to feel like they’re being interrogated by the FBI. The best way to use 100 favorite things questions is to treat them like a conversational springboard.
Think about it this way.
If you ask someone their favorite movie and they say The Godfather, that’s a dead end. But if you follow up with "What’s the favorite scene?" or "Favorite character you actually relate to?", you’re off to the races. Here is a massive mix of questions you can pull from, ranging from the basic stuff to the deeply specific quirks that make people tick.
The sensory and the mundane
- What is your favorite scent in the morning?
- Which fabric feels the best against your skin?
- What’s your favorite temperature for a room?
- Favorite sound that most people find annoying?
- What is your favorite type of pen to write with?
- Do you have a favorite mug? What does it look like?
- Favorite kind of light—golden hour, neon, or candlelight?
- What is your favorite way to have your eggs cooked?
- Favorite spice in your kitchen cabinet?
- What is your favorite sound when you're trying to fall asleep?
Entertainment and culture
- What is your favorite "guilty pleasure" TV show that you actually don't feel guilty about?
- Favorite book you've read more than three times?
- Who is your favorite fictional villain?
- What’s your favorite song to scream-sing in the car?
- Favorite movie soundtrack of all time?
- What is your favorite piece of art you've seen in person?
- Favorite video game world you’d actually want to live in?
- Who is your favorite stand-up comedian?
- What’s your favorite YouTube channel for "brain rot" or "deep dives"?
- Favorite concert memory?
Nostalgia and childhood
- What was your favorite toy when you were six?
- Favorite cartoon character that shaped your personality?
- What was your favorite subject in school, and do you still like it?
- Favorite childhood snack that is probably discontinued now?
- Who was your favorite teacher and why?
- What was your favorite place to hide during hide-and-seek?
- Favorite family tradition that you want to keep alive?
- What was your favorite outfit as a kid?
- Favorite holiday memory that sticks out the most?
- What was your favorite bedtime story?
Why "Favorites" can be polarizing
Sometimes, asking these questions reveals a total lack of compatibility. And that’s okay. Honestly, it’s better to know now. If your favorite pizza topping is pineapple and your partner thinks that’s a crime against humanity, you’ve got a fun debate on your hands. But if their favorite "way to relax" is something you find incredibly stressful, that’s a deeper insight.
Psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron famously developed "36 Questions to Fall in Love," which focuses heavily on vulnerability. While 100 favorite things questions are lighter, they serve a similar purpose. They build "closeness" through shared vulnerability. Telling someone your favorite secret spot in the city is a form of trust. You’re giving them a piece of your map.
The deeper, weirder stuff
We should talk about the stuff that doesn't usually come up in a first-date scenario. These are the questions that reveal the "inner child" or the weird quirks we usually hide.
- Favorite way to spend a solo day?
- What is your favorite thing about your own physical appearance?
- Favorite word in the English language (or any language)?
- What is your favorite "small win" during the workday?
- Favorite thing to do when the power goes out?
- What’s your favorite constellation or celestial body?
- Favorite type of tree? (Sounds boring, but people usually have an answer).
- What is your favorite time of day to be productive?
- Favorite mythical creature you wish was real?
- What is your favorite local landmark?
- Favorite thing about your best friend?
- What is your favorite way to show someone you love them?
- Favorite nickname you’ve ever had?
- What is your favorite "useless" talent?
- Favorite dream you can still remember?
- What is your favorite flavor of ice cream (and don't say vanilla unless you mean it)?
- Favorite flower that isn't a rose?
- What is your favorite way to handle a bad day?
- Favorite quote that actually stuck with you?
- What is your favorite thing to buy when you have a little extra cash?
Making it work in 2026
We live in a world where everything is curated. Our Instagram feeds are a "best of" reel. But 100 favorite things questions force a bit of honesty. You can't really curate your favorite smell or your favorite way to eat a potato. These are biological, visceral responses.
If you’re using these for a blog post, a podcast, or just a long dinner with a friend, don’t try to do all 100 at once. That's exhausting. Pick ten. See where the conversation goes. Maybe you spend an hour talking about why "mint chocolate chip" is the superior ice cream flavor because it reminds someone of their grandmother’s garden. That’s the win.
The practical side of things
Beyond just "getting to know someone," these questions are incredible for gift-giving. If you have a running list of your partner’s or best friend’s 100 favorite things, you will never struggle for a birthday present again. You’ll know their favorite candle scent, their favorite obscure candy, and the favorite author they haven't read in years.
It turns you into a professional gift-giver.
Finishing the list
- Favorite place you've ever traveled?
- Favorite city skyline?
- What is your favorite way to travel (train, plane, car)?
- Favorite airport (weirdly, people have strong opinions on this)?
- What is your favorite road trip snack?
- Favorite hotel experience?
- What is your favorite thing to do when you arrive in a new city?
- Favorite language to listen to?
- What is your favorite view from a window?
- Favorite park or green space?
- What is your favorite thing about the ocean?
- Favorite mountain range?
- What is your favorite way to spend a Friday night?
- Favorite hobby you haven't started yet?
- What is your favorite app on your phone that isn't social media?
- Favorite font?
- What is your favorite type of weather for a walk?
- Favorite memory of a pet?
- What is your favorite way to drink your coffee or tea?
- Favorite breakfast food for dinner?
- What is your favorite thing about yourself? (Important one).
- Favorite way to give back to the community?
- What is your favorite thing to learn about?
- Favorite historical era?
- What is your favorite thing about the current year?
- Favorite piece of technology you can't live without?
- What is your favorite way to disconnect?
- Favorite "old person" habit you have?
- What is your favorite thing to do in the snow?
- Favorite summer memory?
- What is your favorite smell in a library?
- Favorite grocery store aisle?
- What is your favorite way to celebrate a big win?
- Favorite thing to do when you're bored?
- What is your favorite type of house architecture?
- Favorite way to decorate a room?
- What is your favorite thing about your home?
- Favorite kitchen appliance?
- What is your favorite thing to do at a party?
- Favorite board game?
- What is your favorite way to spend a holiday?
- Favorite type of cheese?
- What is your favorite way to eat a bagel?
- Favorite fruit?
- What is your favorite vegetable?
- Favorite way to cook a potato?
- What is your favorite thing to do at the beach?
- Favorite lake or river?
- What is your favorite way to spend a morning?
- Favorite person to follow on social media?
How to actually use this information
Knowing someone's favorite color is "blue" is useless. Knowing their favorite color is "the deep navy of the ocean right before a storm" is a personality trait. When you use 100 favorite things questions, look for the adjectives. Look for the stories.
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If you're a writer, use these to flesh out characters. If you're a manager, use a few of these in a "get to know you" meeting to break the ice without it being cringey. If you're in a relationship, use them on a long drive.
The goal isn't the list. The goal is the connection.
Take five questions from this list today. Send them to a friend or a partner. Don't send all 100—that’s a lot of work for them. Just send five. See what they say. You might be surprised that you didn't know their favorite way to spend a rainy morning was actually working on a 1,000-piece puzzle while listening to 1940s jazz.
Next steps for using these questions
- Choose your medium: Decide if this is for a date night, a journal prompt, or a team-building exercise. Different settings require different "depths" of questions.
- Curate your top 10: Don't overwhelm people. Pick the ten that resonate most with you and start there.
- Write down your own answers: You can't expect others to be vulnerable if you aren't. Know your own "favorites" first.
- Listen more than you talk: When someone answers, ask "Why?" That's where the magic happens.
- Keep a digital note: Use your phone’s notes app to save the best answers you hear from friends and family. It makes you a better friend and a better gift-giver.