Lewis Capaldi has a way of making you feel like your heart is being put through a paper shredder. You know the feeling. You’re driving home, the sun is setting, and that piano melody starts. Suddenly, you’re thinking about every person who ever walked out of your life. It’s heavy.
For years, everyone thought they had the lyrics Someone You Loved figured out. It’s a breakup song, right? I mean, he’s literally singing about the day bleeding into night and not being there to help him through it all. It sounds like the ultimate "I miss my ex" anthem. But the reality is a lot more complicated—and honestly, a lot more heartbreaking—than a simple split from a girlfriend.
What the Song is Actually About (It’s Not What You Think)
If you spent 2019 following British tabloids, you probably heard the rumors. People were convinced Lewis wrote this about Paige Turley, his ex-girlfriend who ended up on Love Island. It made sense. They dated for over a year. They were young. It was messy.
But Capaldi eventually set the record straight in the most Lewis Capaldi way possible.
During his acceptance speech at the 2020 Brit Awards, clutching a bottle of beer, he told the world that the song wasn’t about a lady he was in a romantic relationship with. It was about his grandmother. She had passed away, and he was struggling to process that specific, hollow kind of grief.
Imagine that. You’ve spent months crying over a supposed breakup, only to find out the man was mourning his "gran."
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It changes how you hear the line “I tended to keep my guard up while you were next to me.” When you apply that to family, it’s about that regret of not being fully present or open until it’s too late. It’s about the rug being pulled out from under you. Death doesn’t care if you’re ready. It just happens.
The Six-Month "Brick Wall" Songwriting Process
We like to think that hits just fall out of the sky. We imagine songwriters sitting in a field, struck by a bolt of lightning, and scribbling a masterpiece in ten minutes.
That wasn’t the case here. Not even close.
Lewis has been very vocal about the fact that this song was a nightmare to finish. It took him six months. Six months of, in his words, "bashing his head against a brick wall."
Why was it so hard?
Basically, he was sick of writing breakup songs. He felt like he’d exhausted that well. He had the melody. He had that simple, repetitive piano loop. But the words wouldn't come. It wasn't until he shifted his perspective from a failed romance to the actual loss of his grandmother that the floodgates opened.
The producers (TMS) pushed him to write about loss in a more general, "stream-of-consciousness" way. Once he stopped trying to make it a "hit" and started making it a confession, the final version of lyrics Someone You Loved came together in just a few hours.
Decoding the Most Famous Lines
Let's look at the chorus. It’s what everyone screams at the top of their lungs in their cars.
"I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to / This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you."
When you're grieving, you do feel like you're going under. Water metaphors appear all over this track. The "all or nothing" part is interesting because it highlights how Lewis (and many of us) handles affection. He’s all in. When that person is gone—whether they moved to another city or passed away—the "nothing" part feels like a physical weight.
Then there’s the bridge.
“And then you pulled the rug / I’m getting kind of used to being someone you loved.”
That past tense is the killer. Loved. Not love. The realization that you have been moved into a different category of someone’s life (or memory) is a specific type of pain that Lewis captures better than almost anyone else in modern pop.
The Music Video and the Peter Capaldi Connection
If you haven't seen the music video, prepare to weep. It doesn't even feature Lewis for most of it. Instead, it stars his distant relative (second cousin once removed), Peter Capaldi. Yes, the guy from Doctor Who.
The video was made in partnership with a charity called Live Life Give Life. It focuses on organ donation. Peter plays a man whose wife has passed away, and he goes to meet the young mother who received his wife's heart.
It’s brutal.
But it perfectly illustrates why the lyrics Someone You Loved work so well. The song is a blank canvas for loss. Whether you’re grieving a death, a divorce, or even a friendship that fizzled out, the words fit. It’s universal because it’s vague enough to be yours but specific enough to feel real.
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Why This Song Refuses to Die
It’s been years since the song first dropped in late 2018. Yet, it’s still everywhere. It became the most-streamed song of all time in the UK, overtaking Ed Sheeran. That’s insane.
I think it’s because Lewis isn't trying to be "cool." He’s a guy from Bathgate with a thick accent and a self-deprecating Twitter account who happens to sing like an angel with a sore throat. He’s relatable.
Some quick stats for the nerds:
- UK Chart Run: Spent seven consecutive weeks at Number 1.
- US Success: First Scottish solo artist to top the Billboard Hot 100 since Sheena Easton in 1981.
- Grammys: Nominated for Song of the Year.
He’s the "Streaming King," but he’d probably just make a joke about his "expanding loins" if you told him that to his face.
How to Actually "Use" This Song
Look, we all have that one song we go to when we need a "good cry." This is it. But if you're actually trying to learn it or understand it deeper, here's the vibe.
The Piano: It’s in D♭ major. It’s simple. Lewis admitted the piano part is basic because he isn't a virtuoso. He just messed around until it sounded "sad enough."
The Vocals: It’s mostly single-tracked. There isn't a ton of studio wizardry. It’s just raw, raspy power. If you’re trying to cover it, don’t worry about being perfect. Worry about being loud and honest.
The Takeaway: If you’re going through it right now, pay attention to the line about "numbing the pain." It’s okay to feel like you need someone to help you through the day. Everyone does.
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Next time you hear those opening chords, remember it’s not just a breakup song. It’s a tribute to a grandmother, a nod to the people who give us strength when we have none, and a reminder that being "someone you loved" is a heavy title to carry.
If you're looking to dive deeper into Lewis's discography, check out "Before You Go." It covers similar ground but deals more specifically with the aftermath of suicide and the "what ifs" that haunt the survivors. It's just as heavy, if not heavier.
Actionable Insight: If you're struggling with the themes in this song—loss or grief—don't just sit with the lyrics. Reach out to someone. Lewis himself has been a big advocate for mental health, even donating thousands of hours of free therapy to fans through various initiatives. Sometimes the best way to stop "going under" is to actually let someone in.