[4fun!] for womanliness' sake! grr!

[skw]

well, I've been going through some decaying stuff I've got deep in my archives . . . and this one popped up:

june 2007, to be exact.

fortunately, I needed a piece to test the new ProMotion release.  my first though was that this old work has some potential to be revealed.  then after a few hours of doodling, here she is, Francis; just for kicks, and you better not piss her off!



any comments & critique highly appreciated, but I probably won't make bigger changes to it (except some 'cosmetic' issues maybe).

I'm not sure of the colors, though. originally it was done on a widescreen laptop, then I revamped the palette 'on' a regular plasma.

0.90 laptop version:

cheerio!

[Ryona]

Well, you're a far more superior artist than I, so there's not much I can say without sounding like a dumbass. But I do personally feel the knee area for both legs could be a touch thicker.

I don't have anything else to say other than it's a fantastic peice of artwork, like all your stuff. 
You're definetly one of the top dogs in the forums.

[skw]

okay, I'll gather all the eventual critique that will be posted here then take into consideration what you have pointed out.

thank you, that was *really* refreshing comment! :*

[Ian]

She's got a really manly phsique right now.  Very much a male "v" shape to the torso.  Widen those hips and pull in those shoulders!

[ortodoxx]

nicely done with the colors. she really stands out, but it seems that you have put all your energy on the upper body and just skimmed through the lower part.



1. One is described as what i see as her splinemovment in that pose. i get the feeling that shes kinda pouting her ass out.
2. But if we look at number two, her lower part of the torso and her leg makes for almost a completley straight line making the one pose impossible.
3. And as for number three you can put that box ontop of the thigh (spelling?) and it fits making them too thin.

Im sorry if i sound too harsh, i really think this will be a great pice if the anatomy is corrected.

[skw]

thanks,

@Ian:
she's wearing a random leather jacket and there are some hardened pieces on her shoulders.  this is what makes the torso look manly.

@ortodoxx:
I was aiming at the 'I'm-attacking-in-a-while' pose: therefore I made her leaning a bit forwards, as to signalize that she can rush at you at any moment!  her ass is lowered, I think it's thus possible to fulfill guidelines of the #1 point you mention (her arm is moved backwards intentionally, after all she's holding her B-Nux tight!) and #2 in this particular case.

I might work on the boots and the hips more.

again, thanks!

edit: a 'little bit' of retouching: softened knees & a smaller belly (thus wider hips), will fuc-- play with the colors tomorrow:

[Arachne]

I really like the colors, but I think a bit more contrast wouldn't hurt.

I would make her whole upper torso slimmer, jacket and all. Either that or move the right arm closer to the body. I would also lower the upper torso a bit, but that's probably more of a personal preference.

The shading on the legs make them look flat, and she needs more knees.

Hips have been mentioned. Her waist might also need some work.

There's something odd about the way the shorts and the left leg meet. It also looks a bit odd that the waistline of the shorts is completely straight.

I also think she looks too happy for a ready-to-attack pose, but that might just be me again. The pose probably needs a bit more work with regards to balance and such, but I'm not sure about that, so here's an edit with the things I mentioned to make it a bit clearer what I mean.

[Rydin]

Seems to me like her right leg was almost perfect until you applied lighting...its like you lit it and sculpted it poorly.
Actually, I like the first, flat version more altogether--it leaves much more to imply.  You're going overboard with detail.

Sorry if that sounds harsh.


But besides my opinion, her right leg definitely needs some attention.

[Xion]

Like arachne fixed, the thigh of the far leg looked way way too thin. The way her ass is covered by the lowered "pants" and it makes that straight line...it seems like her whole navel-leg section is way too long without the booty division. I didn't recognize the brass knuckles at first, with them being so close in color to the skin.

[robotacon]

She's got high heels so her pelvis needs to be pushed forward a bit.

Her right foot needs to be moved out to support her weight better. Currently it looks like she's about to faint to her right.
Don't bend her knees. People almost never stand with knees bent.

Your inital sketch is by far the best of all (including all edits from other people).
You got a pose in the original that works and is belivable while the newer ones got some strange farty stance.

[Ben2theEdge]

Scurwy, once again your character is an invertebrate! *Wrist slap*



Try starting with an action line (like the green line here) next time you draw a character. I know you made this before I told you this last time but it bears repeating. If you don't define your character's backbone they will always look like they're squashed in a petri dish, or their spine is folding like an accordion. It also helps to balance your character's weight and generally guide the drawing.

[skw]

YOU FOLKS ROCK!

silly me! *facepalm*  okay, Ben, I'll try it: thank you.

thanks a lot for the good critique!  be as harsh as you want, I can stand it.   you know, all in all, that was just a bit of ordinary disobliging pixel-pushing-boredom-killing: no references, no anatomy checking and everything, but thanks for taking it seriously.

really cool edit, Arachne; but I think there's no immediate need to slim the torso down.  I rather her being a bit buxom and curvaceous.  the legs, though, indeed, needed some more pixel scribbling (and maybe still need but I'm pretty satisfied with it as it is now) and so I did.  I was trying to imitate what you made of her right leg/boot and the heel: it's just ace on your sketch.

I also think she looks too happy for a ready-to-attack pose, but that might just be me again.

she may be either happy that she's having a chance to shed some blood, or so angry that she's baring her teeth: it all depends on the perspective you are looking from.  I kind of like that ambiguity.

I fancy sprites that though rich in details, have features still easily discernible.  I will place a post-it note not to got carried away with the small things again.  anyway, though balancing on the line of 'overburdening', I like that baroque/rococo feel.

lowered 'pants' making a straight line: I have no problem with that as well, it was more of a designer choice than a realistic approach.

heheh, robotacon: you're totally right about the 'fairy/Wonderwoman?' pose but . . . oh well!  I'd have to redo everything from scratch again!

grr!

edit: http://www.pixeljoint.com/pixelart/33622.htm

kudos!

[Xion]

hay
i hope i didnt ruin ur pictuer

she looked like she was leaning forward
I know you said thick padded leather in the shoulders and whatnot or something but they still seemed a bit too broad
I changed some other stuff too.

[skw]

thanks, I think it's a good edit anyhow.  you know, all that critique plus some opinions my fellows gave me, pushed me into thinking of starting all over, with corrected anatomy and an action line-based construction.  I probably won't have time to polish and finish it, though:

[mobichan]

For what it's worth, I did an overlay to show how I am seeing the anatomy.  It seems like there are a few places where shifting some anatomy might help.  I drew my interpretation in blue and adjusted/made suggestions it in red.
1. The far leg (her right leg) has an extra long calf.  By lowering the knee about 5 pixels you might get better results.
2. The shoulders are different distances from the collarbone/torso area.  I shifter the near arm (her left arm) to be a bit farther from the body, since that matches her body's perspective.
3. The neck is a bit too far forward, unless you meant for her to be slouching.

You might also consider pushing the near arm's shoulderpad back as well, since it makes the slouch more prominent.

Overall, it's a great piece and worth going back to rework.  Good luck. 

Mobichan

[Anything!]

XD I kinda liked her cheesy smile. It gave her personality-- You know, other than 'I'mma bite yr face grrrr!' it's all 'I'mma bite yr face now. ' I love that.

But if you ever have time to polish that, that would look great. :3