Sorry about the late reply.


23 colors -> 12 colors (alt) I think you had too many colors and too little contrast between them. You should (IMO) choose colors that aren't as close to one another in terms of value.
They were also too dark (except for white, obviously) and thus made your character very hard to see and understand his features.
Also,
pillow shading doesn't help much in defining form. Make it like there's a light above the character and shade him accordingly.