Zoe

[.TakaM]

Bare with her fading to white, the gif was made to be displayed against a white bg
I'm kinda drawing a blank here, Zoe is only used in the opening cutscene for Twinsen, but people have said she doesn't look all that feminine.
I think she looks pretty good when she stops, but it looks like she kinda transforms a bit, like her waist gets smaller, breasts appear etc..
and they've said her eyebrows are too thick, I thought they were quite obviously her eyelashes, and that it wasn't even an issue

any edits or advice greatly appreciated

[Zolthorg]

facial suggestions

(just screencapped a random one, don't have the patience to even check how many frames you have)

it depends on what the purpose of the character is for the face
is she confident but feminine?,
changed eyebrows, same eyes
flat character and feminine?
i'd change both
confident and tomboyish?
i'd keep them both where you have them

i think you've done a good enough job portraying the fact she's female and using appropriate breast size
if the character is more of a tomboy, you could lean to just making the robe fall flat over her chest.


edit: starting to see what you mean about the transformation.
she seems to shrink vertically, and i'd say her feet get too close to each other.
perhaps you should end with a semi dynamic pose to complement the slide.

[Faceless]

Or he could tone down the slide.
Anywho, if you're going for female, a blush, eyelids and eyelashes never hurt:

Made some other minor changes too.

[AdamAtomic]

good trick for eyelashes on small female sprites is to have them extend past the outside of the eye, but to NOT extend past the inside, or even get within a pixel of the inside edge.

[abzdragon]

I would have to agree that she doesn't immediately strike me as female. The pink obviously helps you make that distinction, but I think the biggest detraction is the eyelashes... which look like thick angry eyebrows. I think Faceless' edit gives some good ideas about what to do about that. My other suggestion would be... perhaps do something more feminine with the hair. I'm not sure what kind of theme you have going on with the style of hair... but you could do something more flowing as she runs... even a bob might look cute. But that's up to you of course.

[.TakaM]

better?

and about the skid, she's gonna be running pretty fast in the game, kicking up dirt etc, so the skid should be a bit excessive.
but what exactly did you have in mind for toning it down, faceless?

[Faceless]

Shorten her limbs, make her shorter. Basically, make it more compact.
Her eyes are totally out of style now.

[Xion]

I like the new eyes.

[AlexHW]

when she's standing straight, she should be the tallest she can get. Currently, you have her being taller as she walks and seperates her legs, then she gets shorter as she stands straight.

[smiker]

awesome, i like that smooth movement.
also lba was one of my favorite games when i was a child ^^
i simply love this gif!
well done!

[.TakaM]

thanks smiker

and thanks guys, sorta forget sometimes how helpful an outside perspective can be 

1 - 2 - 3 - 4?
I'm leaning towards 1, maybe 3
once I get the eyes decided, I'll go through her sheet, shorten her limbs, make her proportions consistent etcetera

[Jad]

better?

and about the skid, she's gonna be running pretty fast in the game, kicking up dirt etc, so the skid should be a bit excessive.
but what exactly did you have in mind for toning it down, faceless?

Better! Now she has eyelashes :]

Proportion-wise, I'm already happy, it's just about astyle, isn't it?

[.TakaM]

mmm, I'm rather happy with her stationary frame, but she beefs up quite a bit when she moves

[Akira]

can we see her in comparison with the main character? all 4 of those last edits look fine but you'll want a style that matches me thinks.

[.TakaM]

various characters

[Obsidian]

The characters get kinda lost in the background there.

[Jad]

Yeah, that's kinda what happens when you put bright pastel-tinted characters in a pastel-tinted world.

As a solution to that, I'd suggest avoiding pure black outlines on anything that isn't a sprite, since toning down the bright pastel world would kill it.

OR you do nothing and let animation tell the viewer what is something which you can interact with, and what isn't.

I would suggest making the elephant-man a bit brighter though.

(I like it that you have the author's blessing for this project. It makes it all seem extra-cute, heh <3)

[Faceless]

It's all pretty clear in-game.

[Stwelin]

You really have to play the game to see how the characters pop out, there is so much freakin' parallax going on that it's easy to tell where the player is, at most times. Personally, i like number 3 the best, while the one in the screenshot seems to have a face that fits in better with the main character.

[mangust]

Really sweet picture!
I agree with Jad about black outlines, maybe keep him only for characters ( that for him very important, but not for all)? For other give dark blue outlines from you palette. And maybe lower bright on green, but not on foreground? Give more readability for persons at the expense of surrounding atmosphere. This image have few correction, just see, maybe it's help.

And I think grass need some little texture, something like on stoun wall, or just small bush.

[Arne]

I made a very sloppy paint over demonstrating some ideas.

Fog the entire background terrain with sky blue.
Add a shadow over the foreground stuff, with maybe some light coming through hitting some leafs.
Maybe flatten the texture on the trees a bit, because the characters are kinda flat and they're the most important.
Tree variation/depth.
A gradient going up on the cliff side could work to point the eye up to the important top/platform part of it.



(My rock in the FG should probably have something to do with the MG terrain though... color and/or shape-wise)

[Jad]

Haha, it's much more platformer-y now.

I have a certain feeling though, that the plastic-ness is wholly intentional. I've seen what Taka can do, and it's on a higher level of detail than this. Which leads me to believe that the plastic feel is completely intentional.

BUT the varying tree lengths is a feast for the eyes, I'd suggest something like that as well. :]

Man, can't wait to play the game :3~

[Opacus]

Haha, it's much more platformer-y now.

I have a certain feeling though, that the plastic-ness is wholly intentional. I've seen what Taka can do, and it's on a higher level of detail than this. Which leads me to believe that the plastic feel is completely intentional.

BUT the varying tree lengths is a feast for the eyes, I'd suggest something like that as well. :]

Man, can't wait to play the game :3~

You can play the game, there's a demo on his site ;0

Sweet lookin, Taka.

[.TakaM]

I made a very sloppy paint over demonstrating some ideas.

Fog the entire background terrain with sky blue.
Add a shadow over the foreground stuff, with maybe some light coming through hitting some leafs.
Maybe flatten the texture on the trees a bit, because the characters are kinda flat and they're the most important.
Tree variation/depth.
A gradient going up on the cliff side could work to point the eye up to the important top/platform part of it.



(My rock in the FG should probably have something to do with the MG terrain though... color and/or shape-wise)

curse you lol
now you've got me wanting to do an overhaul
I really like a lot of the changes you made, so I think I will end up doing something similar in the future

and yah Jad, the simplistic "plasticy" style is intentional, it just makes production a breeze

I edited that Zoe gif a bit, made some of her frames shorter and more compact, plus I replaced the eyes with #1;

Better?

[Faceless]

I think it's funny that you like Jad's changes but didn't want to listen to them when I suggested a lot of them verbally.
I guess you needed to see it to believe or something.

I don't think Zoe ever gets low enough on the slide, though you've made a definite improvement.

[.TakaM]

I think it's funny that you like Jad's changes but didn't want to listen to them when I suggested a lot of them verbally.
I guess you needed to see it to believe or something.

I don't think Zoe ever gets low enough on the slide, though you've made a definite improvement.

well, seeing the suggestions does help
and I don't recall exactly when you suggested the changes, but I'd guess back when the story wouldn't've allowed for any extra details?

and I'll make another edit with her a bit lower, I also just noticed how bad the green belt round her waist moves when she reforms back to her idle frame

[Jad]

My changes? I made no changes. Do not confuse me with Prom/Arne, you you O: Compared to him, I'm still an apprentice-ish!