AuthorTopic: [Finished] Two friends, on a perfect day  (Read 2541 times)

Offline Chironyx

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[Finished] Two friends, on a perfect day

on: September 03, 2017, 10:15:35 pm
Heya! this is my first post here,
* I am a pixelartist and an aspriring game developer looking to get more involved in pixel art and game art communities!

* I figured I'd start by posting one of my recent well-received works and hear what you guys have to say,
From constructive criticism about things I can pay more attention to in future projects, to just general opinions



This scene is based on a song called "For Forever" from the Broadway musical "Dear Evan Hansen"
Eagerly awaiting to hear from you guys!

Offline Macattackk

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Re: [Finished] Two friends, on a perfect day

Reply #1 on: September 04, 2017, 12:51:51 am
I love the mood in this piece. The lighting could be worked on to make a bit more sense. Their backs wouldnt be lit up like that if the light source is in front of their face. It would be more back lit like their hair is. Also there seems to be a lack of 3 dimensional depth in the way their legs are crossed and their torso shape. Id try to make their torsos a bit more rounded and give their legs more perspective with some foreshortening.
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Offline PixelPiledriver

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Re: [Finished] Two friends, on a perfect day

Reply #2 on: September 04, 2017, 01:16:49 am
Here's a few quick thoughts.
Would change a lot of other stuff but don't have time.



The symbology is a slightly odd.
Could be stronger.

Welcome to Pixelation!  :)

And knowing that it is, we seek what it is... ~ Aristotle, Posterior Analytics, Chapter 1

Offline Chironyx

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Re: [Finished] Two friends, on a perfect day

Reply #3 on: September 04, 2017, 01:37:37 pm
I love the mood in this piece. The lighting could be worked on to make a bit more sense. Their backs wouldnt be lit up like that if the light source is in front of their face. It would be more back lit like their hair is. Also there seems to be a lack of 3 dimensional depth in the way their legs are crossed and their torso shape. Id try to make their torsos a bit more rounded and give their legs more perspective with some foreshortening.

Yeah, you're right, I didn't even include their shadows, probably was afraid to take away from the bright feeling of the drawing, the light on it is kind of wrong in general in more than one place  :blind:
I see that the legs look kind of flat now, I'll remind myself to start taking foreshortening into mind when I want to make something like this,
Thanks for the tips!  ;D

Here's a few quick thoughts.
Would change a lot of other stuff but don't have time.



The symbology is a slightly odd.
Could be stronger.

Welcome to Pixelation!  :)

First of all, thank you so much for taking the time to put a few fixes into this,
Aside from the shadows that I obviously should've done myself, I like the grass where they're sitting and how the shape of grass is mixed into the shadows, this alone gives a much clearer feeling of them sitting planted in cushy grass, really lovely!
I see you put the same emphasis on the lighter grass on the right side, makes me see how flat the hill actually looks without it...
And how you changed the lines on Evan's back to actually get the feeling he's sitting there slightly arching his back

I'm not entirely sure what you mean when you say the symbology is slightly odd, the symbology isn't too heavy here,
I was just describing things from the song, "Quoting songs by our favorite bands" - "There's nothing that we can't discuss, like girls we wish would notice us but never do" - I just wanted to make an image that feels like it's filled with light
Did you mean something else?

Offline eishiya

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Re: [Finished] Two friends, on a perfect day

Reply #4 on: September 04, 2017, 02:23:44 pm
I think PPD might mean the symbols in the speech bubbles, not the symbolism. The symbols don't read very well, especially the girl, who blends into the white background a bit.

Offline Chironyx

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Re: [Finished] Two friends, on a perfect day

Reply #5 on: September 05, 2017, 01:35:00 am
I think PPD might mean the symbols in the speech bubbles, not the symbolism. The symbols don't read very well, especially the girl, who blends into the white background a bit.

Ohh that makes much more sense to me, though aside from making her hair color more contrasted to the white background, I'm not entirely sure what I could change to make it better  ???

Offline eishiya

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Re: [Finished] Two friends, on a perfect day

Reply #6 on: September 05, 2017, 01:41:33 am
Maybe remove the flower or simplify it? It doesn't really read at a glance, and seems unnecessary if all you're trying to communicate is "girl".

Offline Chironyx

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Re: [Finished] Two friends, on a perfect day

Reply #7 on: September 05, 2017, 07:14:31 pm
Maybe remove the flower or simplify it? It doesn't really read at a glance, and seems unnecessary if all you're trying to communicate is "girl".

Note taken! many thanks  :P

Offline PixelPiledriver

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Re: [Finished] Two friends, on a perfect day

Reply #8 on: September 05, 2017, 10:12:31 pm
Quote
I think PPD might mean the symbols in the speech bubbles, not the symbolism
Well both really.

The girl face could be more clear, the music note is clearly a music note.
The bubbles themselves are rendered a bit weird, especially the tail.

But what are they even trying to communicate?
Guy on left is calling girl on right pretty and she is happy about it?
Guy on left talks about girls and guy on right talks about music but they both like both?
They are focused on two different things in life?
They are sitting apart from each other staring into the distance because they want these things but don't have them?

I'm not asking you to tell me the answer.
The image should convey the meaning and the more specific of a feeling you can make it the better.

Also I turned their heads slightly towards each other to imply verbal interaction.
You may want to add hand acting as well to further give a discussion vibe if that's what you're going for.
And knowing that it is, we seek what it is... ~ Aristotle, Posterior Analytics, Chapter 1

Offline Chironyx

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Re: [Finished] Two friends, on a perfect day

Reply #9 on: September 06, 2017, 12:57:34 am
Quote
I think PPD might mean the symbols in the speech bubbles, not the symbolism
Well both really.

The girl face could be more clear, the music note is clearly a music note.
The bubbles themselves are rendered a bit weird, especially the tail.

But what are they even trying to communicate?
Guy on left is calling girl on right pretty and she is happy about it?
Guy on left talks about girls and guy on right talks about music but they both like both?
They are focused on two different things in life?
They are sitting apart from each other staring into the distance because they want these things but don't have them?

I'm not asking you to tell me the answer.
The image should convey the meaning and the more specific of a feeling you can make it the better.

Also I turned their heads slightly towards each other to imply verbal interaction.
You may want to add hand acting as well to further give a discussion vibe if that's what you're going for.

Oh my, I noticed that too and completely forgot to address it!
I think you're right about the scene being confusing (things aren't clear enough as you mentioned, or they don't explain what the scene is about without words), if it was a stand-alone piece that is, but the piece is directed at people who know the musical and the song,
It's mainly quoting the song, "We just talk, and take in the view" (they stare forward, looking ahead and talking) and the quotes I mentioned above as well ("Quoting songs by our favorite bands" - "There's nothing that we can't discuss, like girls we wish would notice us but never do") that explain their speech bubbles.

But you do have a major point, when making a piece from a specific thing or scene, perhaps I should make sure that even a person who never heard of the musical before can understand what's happening, not sure if this is a dilemma or not...