[CC] Hikage from Senran Kagura

[Rosier]

https://41.media.tumblr.com/639e7125869d48abe898bf6e438bdbfc/tumblr_inline_o3hipy8R0q1tyn0tw_540.jpg
Pose is based on one.

Shading is pretty rudimentary.  Chest I'm okay with, but the rest I'm lost.

[rocifier]

Yeah shading definitely needs work. Before shading I'd make a few tweaks to the anatomy. She is looking pretty good but here is my critique:

[Rosier]

Also touched up the darker bits of the hair.

[rocifier]

Hmm it's getting there. Definitely an improvement. I'd probably render the legs and crotch tighter more like this:



The upper torso still needs work too. I think it would help to study a skeleton so you can see the rib cage. For example the pecs rest on the ribs then the breasts on the pecs. There is a tutorial on it here: http://www.proko.com/anatomy-of-the-rib-cage-for-artists/
I recommend all of Proko's videos for learning anatomy. The key is to draw them out though, not just watch them.

[MysteryMeat]

Looking at it I'd try to reduce how much black there is in this.
It might help to use darker shades of the colors present instead to mark where they're at, in pixels black can be a bit tricksy because of how it pulls the eye away from the rest of the sprite.

There's a really good analysis on that here: http://kiwi-rgb.deviantart.com/art/Working-with-Black-in-sprites-119921694

[Rosier]

Not included, me attempting to reshade the breasts about ten times...

Added an attempt at shading the skin as well, but I don't quite think I'm getting the ribcage thing.

[rocifier]

Did you watch any of Proko's videos? He uses Loomis' construction technique which can help artists to draw the figure in any pose. It takes some practice to get right. But there is a great facebook group for critiques.

[Decroded]

I still find these colours a bit glaringly contrasted.
Especially the shirt for example the black and gold is too strongly contrasted so it flattems the forms.
The white pixels on shirt are also strange as if some kind of plastic specular yet the dark lines have no highlight?

[Rosier]

Did you watch any of Proko's videos? He uses Loomis' construction technique which can help artists to draw the figure in any pose. It takes some practice to get right. But there is a great facebook group for critiques.

I checked out the one linked, but I've found that stuff like that doesn't really work for me all that well unfortunately.

I still find these colours a bit glaringly contrasted.
Especially the shirt for example the black and gold is too strongly contrasted so it flattems the forms.
The white pixels on shirt are also strange as if some kind of plastic specular yet the dark lines have no highlight?

So make the not-black bits on the shirt even lighter?
There's a few varying designs for her shirt pattern, so I think I might choose one with a bit more readability in it in regards to the white spots used.


EDIT:  Lightened the shirt pattern to be a bit lighter, and replaced the pattern with another variant that's significantly more readable.

[rocifier]

Those colours are much easier on the eyes to look at. But there are still the same problems with the chest and head. To me the chest is just reading as an orange cloth with random brown wire tied all over it, not the form of two breasts. You'll need to find a way to study anatomy that works for you.

[Rosier]

Those colours are much easier on the eyes to look at. But there are still the same problems with the chest and head. To me the chest is just reading as an orange cloth with random brown wire tied all over it, not the form of two breasts. You'll need to find a way to study anatomy that works for you.

https://41.media.tumblr.com/639e7125869d48abe898bf6e438bdbfc/tumblr_inline_o3hipy8R0q1tyn0tw_540.jpg
I'm having problems communicating shading thanks to the pattern...  I looked a bit more at the reference image above and tried to follow the shapes better, albeit on a bit larger scale. I think the one without the pattern looks pretty good, but then it all gets covered.
Also added an outline cuz it looks nice IMO.


For the moment, I guess I'm just going to stare at more breasts.
For art.

[rocifier]

Where is the light source coming from? I was imagining it coming from above and slightly forward when I edited the pants. That would mean the breasts would be lighter on top and darker where they turn to face away from the overhead light (on both the base colour AND pattern colour). Also compare where the bulk of the breasts are on yours vs the reference and pay attention to the arm pit areas. Currently she is looking fatter than I think you want her to (going by your original cartoon character influence, and the leanness of the rest of her body).

EDIT: Also you worked hard to soften the internal black outlines everywhere and the piece looked quite harmonious. Then you added in black/dark outlines which really detract from the subtle shading on the figure. Ugh. If you must have an out line, try to tone it down more especially towards the angle of the light source where you can make it quite light.

[Rosier]

Looked at a bit more of her art and wound up with the above, but in regards to the breasts making her look fat, I'm torn between what to do, as she (And most of the Senran Kagura girls) have larger than average breasts regardless of body type. I put up an alt version with a more accurate size, but I still am not sure if it's in the right direction.

[dpixel]

Some ideas:


I think you need to go sparingly on the detail on the yellow top.  I think I created some anatomy problems, but hope it helps.

[Rosier]

@dpixel, I'm not a fan of the torso.   I feel like the neckline makes it look like a big torso stuck on a diminutive waist.  That and I feel like the head is a departure for what I'm going for.

It did make me retool half of everything, though.  Redid the pattern to the basest level I'm willing to go to, tooled up the arms, and reworked the shading on the hair, plus a bunch of random misc stuff.

Still not sure on the chest size, though.