If you look into a typical magazine aimed towards girls you'll see both sexualized men and women.
Personally I think if a game sexualizes it's characters it should do it for both genders since that's only fair.
But the majority of gamers would probably be too uncomfortable with that, which pretty much points out just how biased it currently is.
I think gamers are a bunch of jerks in general.
And as games become more mainstream more jerks will become gamers.
People are intolerant, sexist, bigots and that's why you see these outrageous reactions when someone points out that all these characters with big boobs might be an issue.
In the end, since the majority of gamers want this the industry will keep adjusting their content to match their expectations, to sell games.
And it's not a democracy, it's consumer demand, capitalism. But if the industry want to attract more females they need to change.
Though lastly... Your last point boils down to "You can't criticize if you can't make better." I know it is worded nicer, but criticism should not be qualified by the track record of the person who says it. I want to make a game, but there are a lot of steps between then and now. The industry shouldn't have to wait for a potential developer to start a trend. It's not too much to ask developers and gamers to think more carefully, is it?
I don't think that's fair, the point to me reads more like "do something about it" and
not "keep quiet if you can't do better"..
And it can be applied to any criticism about certain genres or tastes not being represented, "too many shooter games!", "well.. DO something about it!".
We could argue if games are at a point where they need to appeal to everyone in a democratic fashion and I'd say if they don't it's their loss.
Of course we can criticize them for it and it would be valid, but we still can't force new trends unless consumer demand changes or the companies decide to pursue a wider audience.