AuthorTopic: Mini-Comic (Traditional art: constructive criticism appreciated)  (Read 8233 times)

Offline xhunterko

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Hey guys!

I did my first mini-comic this year. I've shown it to a few friends and family and have put it on the internet. While I've already gotten some feed back on an issue, I didn't get much on the comic itself. You guys are by far, the most brutally honest critics I know. So, I was wondering what your guy's take on my comic would be. Here's a couple links:

Title:

Sample beginning panels:

Sample middle panels:

2 panels before the end:


The full comic can be viewed here:
http://xhunterko.deviantart.com/gallery/40443277

So um. What could be improved here?

Thanks in advanced!

EDIT: I have included the link to the full comic through the deviantArt link. The whole comic is 16 pages. Hopefully that explains some story gaps.
« Last Edit: December 06, 2012, 02:37:13 am by xhunterko »

Offline Mr. Fahrenheit

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Re: Mini-Comic (Traditional art: constructive criticism appreciated)

Reply #1 on: December 04, 2012, 02:10:41 am
It seems you misspelled certain in the second to last panel. There is also not really any plot. He gets a horn, he blows it, he throws it away, and then he realizes it might be cursed. There isn't really any story line to it. It has no main conflict as of now and there aren't really any jokes if it is meant to be one of the funny one liner sorta webcomics and not a story driven one.

Offline xhunterko

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Re: Mini-Comic (Traditional art: constructive criticism appreciated)

Reply #2 on: December 04, 2012, 03:59:23 am
Yeah there's a few spelling errors here or there. I should have included a link to the rest of the comic in it's entirety. I'll do that here:

http://xhunterko.deviantart.com/gallery/40443277

There's 16 pages so I didn't want to post the whole thing on this thread.

Offline yaomon17

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Re: Mini-Comic (Traditional art: constructive criticism appreciated)

Reply #3 on: December 04, 2012, 04:05:48 am
If you could ink it it would look great!

Offline NaCl

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Re: Mini-Comic (Traditional art: constructive criticism appreciated)

Reply #4 on: December 04, 2012, 08:00:49 am
I think the characters have a sort of simplistic charm to them. I can see you put some thought and heart into them. Nice work.

However, I think you did not put the same heart into the rest of the art. It looks like for many aspects of it, you just kind of rushed it and compromised. This includes all the backgrounds, the writing, and the effects. The hand written parts are poorly done. I can empathize, my handwriting is terrible. But the lettering is as much a part of your work as every other element, and needs to same attention. Generic MS Paint fonts just don't cut it. Ellipses in a grid don't cut it for the clouds, either!

I am not sure if this is a rough draft, but you also need to think about how you want to render this. It looks like everything was done with a waxy #2 pencil, not gonna cut it! It makes everything look like it was done in a school notebook. After you are happy with your lines, try going over them with Photoshop to make them clean and professional looking. That alone will really boost the quality. I see you did this for a few lines, and it looks inconsistent with the pencil.

As for the story, It's kinda cute. But it doesn't make a great deal of sense. I see what you were going for, and I think you just about got it. I just don't get why he disappears then reappears like that. Did he go on an adventure?

Also, work on your grammar. If you're going to write it can't hurt. At least learn the difference between you're/your, there/their, than/then, etc... It just takes like 10 minutes to look up.

Offline xhunterko

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Re: Mini-Comic (Traditional art: constructive criticism appreciated)

Reply #5 on: December 04, 2012, 08:59:38 am
@NaCl Thank you! Yeah, it was very rushed. Even though it was done over the course of a few months, I'd pick it up, then drop it again to work on a game. The problem was I had a day job and could only allocate how much time I could spend on what. And I really wanted to get a graphic novel done this year. So yeah. I thought I had had enough story though. Where would you have done different?

Offline rikfuzz

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Re: Mini-Comic (Traditional art: constructive criticism appreciated)

Reply #6 on: December 04, 2012, 09:30:02 am
You have a day job?  Out of interest how old are you?  :-X  There are some very basics you should should really be taking care of before seeking people's feedback, imho.  (If you're not taking any care to even try planning, spell-checking, inking, lettering*, etc I don't believe you're serious about the whole thing to be honest).  If you're serious, I'd try a forum that specialises in comics and is beginner friendly.

http://www.sweatdrop.com/forum is beginner friendly, although based around Japanese style comics, but there's obviously a lot of overlap, especially in the basics. 

(*okay a little bit)

Offline xhunterko

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Re: Mini-Comic (Traditional art: constructive criticism appreciated)

Reply #7 on: December 04, 2012, 09:43:36 am
You have a day job?  Out of interest how old are you?  :-X  There are some very basics you should should really be taking care of before seeking people's feedback, imho.  (If you're not taking any care to even try planning, spell-checking, inking, lettering*, etc I don't believe you're serious about the whole thing to be honest).  If you're serious, I'd try a forum that specialises in comics and is beginner friendly.

http://www.sweatdrop.com/forum is beginner friendly, although based around Japanese style comics, but there's obviously a lot of overlap, especially in the basics. 

(*okay a little bit)

Had a day job. So I wasn't sure how much time I could spend on it. So yeah, like I said earlier, very very rushed. I hadn't seen that forum before, so I'll probably check it out. Thanks!
(if you are curious about my age, you may click my indieDb button and then click my profile name there to see a short about summary of me. :))

So I don't seem rude:

"If you could ink it it would look great!"

I thought so too. And then I thought, I am never going to get this done before the end of this year if I do. Thanks!
« Last Edit: December 04, 2012, 11:10:01 am by xhunterko »

Offline Maru

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Re: Mini-Comic (Traditional art: constructive criticism appreciated)

Reply #8 on: December 04, 2012, 12:18:05 pm
Aint gonna lie, I thought you were a bit younger when I saw this lol... :o

Hmmmm your character is cute and simple, I like that.

Maybe work on drawing basics before you begin a comic. I did a couple of comics a good few years ago and it's not easy. Like, at all. You need to be confidant of your artistic abilities before you go into making panels and panels of artwork. Write a plot, proofread it and send it around for some crit, then storyboard it in some rough thumbnails.

Maybe make some refined character turnarounds (here's an example of a good one: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/Anna_Z/kumaclonesmall.png) and some character profile sheets to refine your artwork there first.
Be prepared to sacrifice a lot of time and dedication to this if you're serious about working on it.

Offline xhunterko

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Re: Mini-Comic (Traditional art: constructive criticism appreciated)

Reply #9 on: December 04, 2012, 10:13:13 pm
Quote
send it around for some crit

And then there's the problem of no one wanting or having time to read it. :( What do you do in situations like that? But yeah, good points all around.