AuthorTopic: My Paper "Laziness to Creativity/Ability to solve Problems/Adaptation"  (Read 7469 times)

Offline Mercury Rising

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I'm writing a short paper about how laziness and creativity/ability to solve problems/adaptation are all connected.† I am entering a psychological essay contest.† It's a local one with a $200 cash prize.† So I figure counting mine there will be 3 people entering.† So I'll need a pretty good essay.† I am an eighth grader heading into high school, just to let you know where Iím coming from.† †Hereís my essay, I just need some opinions.

Laziness to Creativity/Ability to solve Problems/Adaptation

   Laziness has been branded as an insult and a bad quality.† Yet, Iím here to change that.† For laziness isnít an insult or a bad quality.† It is a character trait, just like being optimistic.† Yes some character traits are better than others, yet is active truly better than lazy?† That is what I figured out.
You may think that the title items are unrelated, yet through deep thought their connection is obvious.† Example 1A, a person is sitting on the sofa watching television, the clicker is at the end of the coffee table, a active person would get up and get the clicker.† Thus not using any brainpower or creativity to solve the problem at hand.† Yet, the lazy person will think of a way to solve the problem using the least amount of effort.† The lazy person could A, push the end of the coffee table down and slide the clicker towards them, B, look around them for a long object that could be used to move the clicker into arms reach, or C what ever else they could think of.
   How adaptation and laziness are alike is very simple.† When an active person sees a mess they immediately think clean it up, without any thought or regard about any action they could set in place.† Now a lazy person thinks if the mess could affect them in anyway, and if it does if the effect is worth the effort to fix the problem and if its not they adapt.† Example 2A, a person comes down to the lower level of their home and sees a mess on the floor from their pet.† An active person first instinct would be to clean it.† A respected choice yes, and sometimes the choice of the non-active as well but a lot of the time it is not a necessary one.† Think of this from a lazy childís point of view, they walk downstairs and see this mess, they could A, go back upstairs until someone else who they know will clean it up will see it so they donít get yelled at for not cleaning it up because to the active persons knowledge they didnít know, B, avoid the mess, C, if its not a mess that can rot or become a health hazard to the person like shedding or animal toys simply ignore it, it doesnít affect you why mess with it and the lazy person will adapt to the situation.† Example 2B, a person is sitting in a chair and a fly lands on their leg, the first instinct of an active person is to swat it, most likely causing them to lose their comfort in the chair, and probably missing the fly letting it continue on.† A lazy person could A, just sit their and wait for the fly to go away, B, ignore the fly knowing it canít hurt you, or C, figure out some plan to kill the fly.
   Another easy example between laziness and adaptation is the ability to, as I must bluntly say, take it.† Example 3A, two people are sitting in a room, a lazy person and a active person.† Then the phone rings.† Yet, neither get up to answer it, the lazy person knows if they wait long enough the ringing will get to the other person and they will answer it.† Saving a trip for the lazy person, and stimulating the brain with yet another mind puzzle.
   Here is a hidden connection to laziness to intelligence.† Example 4A, a sibling/spouse/roommate walks into the bathroom to use the toilet, and sees either urine on the seat or the seat up.† They know itís from their sibling/spouse/roommate so they yell, for the person who they suspect it is for them to clean it up.† Now who is the lazy person here?† The person who came into the bathroom and saw the mess or the person who has to come and clean it up?† In truth itís usually the person who came into the bathroom and saw the mess.† Why you ask?† Think about it, it would take much less effort from both parties if the person who came into the bathroom cleaned the seat or put it down.† †It would take more effort to yell the persons name, get their attention, get them to come into the bathroom, get them to clean it up, then scold them, than just to do it yourself.† A lazy person considers these factors and takes into account, is what Iím putting in worth what Iím getting out?† Considering all these factors really stimulates the brain.
† †Now here is a topic where I get talked to a lot about.† Messy rooms.† The thing that most active neat freaks donít understand is that clean and neat is an opinion.† Clean can be an entire different level of clean to someone else.† In my humble opinion if the person can access necessary items in their room, like clothing, bed, and windows itís perfectly fine.† †There is a famous quote I must say, ďOrganized people are just too lazy to look for things.Ē† Yes, that is true, but does that mean that all lazy people are organized?† †No it most certainly does not.† Lazy people are too lazy to organize things.† They are much happier searching for items in their clutter.† Now the term organized chaos is true to a point.† If a person says they are organized, now organized is an opinion as well, ask them to list where they know items are in their space.† If they can list a large number of them then they are organized.
† †Lazy people see life as a puzzle and active people see it as a training exercise.† †Active people see items and think they must be done now and throw off schedules.† While lazy people plan items by importance and the consequences if it doesnít get done.
Just to state the point, just because someone is lazy doesnít mean they are out of shape or donít participate in any activities.† Also the title of active was given as an antonym of lazy, not as the definition of into physical activity or in shape.†
† †All examples I have experienced.† I fall into the lazy category.† If you take one thing away from this essay I hope it is this;†laziness isnít a bad quality or an insult, it is simply a trait, and from what Iíve researched, can be a better trait than being active.† Yet that is also an opinion.† Most of you came into this essay bias because I was trying to make laziness not seem so bad.† Yet my points should have ended your prejudice.† If not, I feel sorrowful for you.
††

By,
ME!
« Last Edit: July 24, 2005, 04:01:24 pm by BrotherInWar »
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Offline Evan

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Profound, my brother, profound...

:::Shoots fly with gun:::

You have opened my eyes.

Offline DarkSword

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The whole essay is one big paragraph! o_O

Try giving each example its own paragraph. That way, your essay will be easy to navigate and will comply with the rules of English grammar.

moving text :)
There cannot be unanimity without dissent.

- Georgia K. Hortanane

Offline Mercury Rising

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No, it's not one big paragraph, it just looks that way due to the fact that it's center aligned.† I'll set it back to left align.† Thanks for the comments.

8)
      8)
           8)
« Last Edit: July 30, 2005, 03:10:00 pm by BrotherInWar »
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Offline Evan

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The first thing that I would have to actually critique would be the lack of an introduction. To me it seems like you're just saying "read the title, here's an example." Give your paper a good intro and a thesis statement.

I would also like to point out the somewhat weak conclusion. You're only explaining that active is an antonym and you've experienced laziness. You should (after you make an intro) restate your introduction and sum up your main points.

But other than that, it's pretty good.

Offline Mercury Rising

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Thanks, I'll think of an intro and conclusion, sigh back at school.† Well that's what this feels like.† Also, if you think its pretty when its good, Oh, you should see how pretty it is when its amazing!

Essay edited now has a conclusion and an intro.†
WOWZERS[/font][/b][/i][/u][/s][/shadow][/glow]
« Last Edit: July 20, 2005, 05:40:04 pm by BrotherInWar »
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Offline Evan

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Okay, there's a few problems with your paper still.

1) You continue to address the audience as "you" however it is better to say "one." Like, instead of "you would think..." you should put "one would think..."

2) You said "If you learn one thing from my essay, I hope it's this." You continue on that thought. You should replace that period with a colon.

I'm sure there are a few more, but I can't be bothered to read the whole thing. If you win the prize, you best be sendin' some o' that sweet buttah my way.

Offline istvan

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We've always been taught to avoid personal pronouns all together. It sounds a lot more like a speech as it addresses the audience directly, and attempts to build a rapport through this. For example rhetorical questions, colloquial language and ofcourse the elusive personal pronouns.

I'd always avoid sounding so defenisve. Things like  'If not, I feel sorrowful for you' only alienates the responder and leaves a bad taste in their mouths. I personally believe, for an essay, you should not even refer to yourself or audience at all. Simply avoid it as Evan has suggested.

You've also spaced it like a hand written essay. It's only good english etiquette to leave a space after every paragraph when writing on a computer.

As for the title, currently I find it rather unclear and hard to comprehend. I'd avoid a complicated title, if you want to grab the reader's attention. Perhaps even some sort of witty pun. The heading should be a means of creating a rapport, rather than your use of verbal techniques you've used throughout.

Offline Xion

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Sorry, but honestly, I didn't read it all. I may finish it later, but just some general tips to writing an essay;

Avoid using "I" or "you." Refer to people as a whole rather than making the reader feel singled out.

Avoid contractions.

Avoid saying things like "in my opinion." Everybody already knows that the paper is in your opinion.

For your introductory paragraph, you should state your main topic. All the other paragraphs should pertain to this topic in some way.

For every body paragraph, you should present new information.

For your conlusion, you should restate your main topic and reenforce it. No new info should be added.

Quote
Laziness has been branded as an insult and a bad quality.  Yet, Iím here to change that.  For laziness isnít an insult or a bad quality.  It is a character trait, just like being optimistic.  Yes some character traits are better than others, yet is active truly better than lazy?  That is what I figured out.

Just a few suggestions;
Usually you should avoid starting a sentence with "yet" and other such words.
"For" is precluded by a comma when being used in the manner that you are using it here.
Again, avoid contractions.
When yes begins a sentence, it is always followed by a comma.

I hope you don't mind me providing a revision of my own...

Laziness has often been branded as an insult or a bad quality, yet one must wonder if it truly is. Laziness is neither an insult nor a bad quality; it is simply a character trait, like being optimistic or shy. Yes, it is true that some character traits are better than others, but is active truly better than lazy? This is what I set out to find.

Yes, I used "I," but I didn't want to change too much about the original.

Also, when posting long texts in forums, double-spacing the Paragraphs makes it much easier.

I hope I was of assistance :)

Offline Mercury Rising

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Nice edit but, the contest is over and I nabbed 2nd place.  Plus a $50 cash prize.  I was always taught by my teachers to either use a indentation or a line bettween paragraphs never both.  Anyway that money was spent on Goldeneye Rogue Agent on DS and some fireworks.
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