Okay, wow. It takes me a long time to get around to things

The mood struck me to return to this piece and undergo the figure studies I promised myself I would do.
It's a difficult pose for me, and each attempt I make to dissect it indicates it's time I returned to my anatomy studies and go over the whole torso. Here is my retake:

Original on the right for comparison.
I love, love this angle and the connection it establishes between the viewer and the woman. However, it changes the position of the shoulder in relation to the face, and makes adding the little antelope compositionally problematic.
Still tossing up whether to do a retake of the piece with this new angle, see where it takes me, or do another study with the "camera" more to the left, to get the shoulder further out from the face.
But most importantly: thoughts on anatomy?