just an idea:

the first time i read the post, i didn't catch that you were going to change the black lines, and that's my only critique right now.
so i whipped this up to give just one idea.

just got a tablet. aside from the first hundred or so doodles to get the hang of it, here's my first illustration using it:

this is the 1st real crit i was given im not really sure what i do do i work on the version you fixed up or something

i should of mentioned its ment to be a anime mugshot base not a real person

i would say i kept mine pretty anime.
but yeah, basically what he said.
everything i learned from pixel art i learned from posting my own under developed art and seeing amazing edits that made me rethink how i do things.
not to say my edit is amazing. 

personally, i'm still picking up too much abs.
but again, vagina?
what are those two white lines on her crotch?
they are very distracting.

it's been a while since i've been on this site, but i'm a bit stuck on this.
and of course, everything that goes through the pixelation filter gets way better by the end