Mathias, I'm glad to see that you're excercising your vocal flexibility and trying new modes of typing on the internets
Shit is an edit
Basically what I want to say is this: Detailed shading-style style needs more construction or he'll look like he's made out of dough. You're avoiding foreshortening and tend to not place things in front of other things, which is why you can see both nostrils which you wouldn't be able to, except if he's asian or something like that, but then the rest of his face needs to reflect that. Also with the shoulders and the neck, they're all drawn so that everything shows, so to say. The chin would probably hide some of the neck and the farther shoulder would be less visible than you've drawn it.
So anyways:
To the left is a guy with more construction, more illusion of a believable 3d shape, etc. Hat is smaller cause I wanted everything to fit together
To the right is a guy with much more stylized features and more swooshy lines (maybe) just to make a point that if you want him to have a huge hat, then maybe you should simplify and stylize and make things more dynamic overall
so he just doesn't look like a super serious guy trying to look all cool with the goofiest hat on earth. Ok, I see the appeal in that too, but then you'd have to aim for a way to convey that too.
I think? That's what I've got