To address some of the critique here, which I think is solid: drowning isn’t really the weight of my theme here, so I’m not too concerned with him looking like he’s drowning. I’m going more for an ambiguous look that could either be 1) ecstasy, be it spiritual or sexual (according to different readings of the text) or 2) gasping for a big gulp of air. Up until this crits I hadn’t really thought of the text being read as drowning rather than just sinking, but a look of pain, I think, would compromise the ecstasy associations.
Here's what's probably the final, still open to tweaks, any major crits might be applied to the painting if not this piece: