Hah alright, still creating more ah chu inspired things, that's cool. First thing that hits me is the realistic presentation style. Yes, you have a basic nondescript abstracty bg, but the rest attempts to depict normal reality with a conventional interpretation (as opposed to, say, cubism's style or something) yet is portraying a concept with at least some depth to it. In other words, I'm bored. And the presentation doesn't match the content.
Ah - life, Chu - release/death.
My solution? Mainly colors. Getting rid of the blue bg would alleviate the water/air breathing/exhaling misinterpretation. I think this would greatly benefit from going for a dramatic double light source setup - shine life-like light in the left from the top left, then shine some deathly weaker lit shade of light onto the dying "twin" coming from the lower right.
Anat. You've done really well. I'd try to stress inhalation even more for the left twin - open his mouth more, suck in abdominal more, etc. I like how the dying side's muscles are relaxed.
Hmm, that shared ear bugs me.
The two faces don't look like the same face. To communicate life, then death, I think you ought to draw the same face, as if a change is happening, otherwise it might look like two different people.