Yeah, I mean, Bruce is the epitome of Good Guy. What use would he have for an Iron Jug?
(It still sounds cool, though.)
Or how about this; It wasn't really Chuck's tears at all, but his evil twin, Buck! So you go to cure cancer but instead it makes everyone into zombies! Now Bruce and Norris (the real one) have to team up in an epic (but often hilarious) adventure filled with crazy kung fu and multi-cultured antics, climaxing in both of them facing off against Buck as an iron juggernaut armed with like some flail of damned souls! And
then Chuck cries because, even though Buck was evil, he was still his beloved brother and then they take his tears, but it's only enough to cure one person. So you have to choose which person to cure out of, like ten, and they'll give you some powerful item for use through your next nine playthroughs until you've cured them all and have all ten items, after which you unlock stuff like survival mode and boss battle mode and concept art gallery and the Chuck Norris Walker Texas Ranger Lever (for those who watch Conan O' Brien) and then there's nothing more!!!!