David, your edit is not showing.
I think you got a pretty decent face there. the lighting is also nice, but looks like the light source is one palm from his nose, like if it was the tip of a cigar or a pipe. cause is lighting the top of the lip, but not the forehead. if that is as screen as I think it is, you might wanna widden the range of action of the light. any way, good stuff, specially if you are starting out in this area.
Kaz