On your first paragraph, what you're doing is armchair psychoanalysis. It's besides the point
why I am now in the position to tell you that you're exhibiting certain behaviours. You don't have to tell me your theories. I am well-meaning, if you can trust me to say so. If not, then let's end this discussion because no amount of maneuvering will get us anywhere.
We all
project when threatened. I don't feel threatened by you, but you have no way of knowing that and may not trust me in saying that. So let's say I am projecting because I am threatened. I might be wrong about what I'm seeing in you. If I'm wrong, then I'm just some person on the internet with terribly poor manners. But what if I'm right and your brain is lying to you about your self-worth and your capacity to convey your all-important message?
Let's say you're also possibly projecting on me because you feel threatened. If you're wrong about me, then I'm not some close-minded square out to put you back in your box but someone who is actually worried about you even a little bit and that should alert you. If you're right, I'm just a jerk on the internet. Do you see the difference in stakes?
So, please, let's not do more armchair psychology. If you ask a straight question, as you see, I answer with my personal history or explain my thought process. You don't have to tell me your own theories about why I am as I am. I am not really telling you any theories. I am just saying: coherency of thought, seeking employment, active social life, taking care of oneself: these are systemic phenomena I trust to mean someone is at least not at the verge of disaster. One or two of these might be missing but the rest of the system will correct itself and they will appear on the road ahead. If all of them are missing then that's a dangerous direction.
Dangerous direction for whom? For you.
To your question: Often when I get e-mails from people seeking to employ me, I forward them to other artists that have a good track record. Yes, I have mentioned you to employers in the past because I like your work. We are not friends and that's as much as I care to help you in that way. Do you understand the distinction between me respecting your work enough to mention you amongst other Pixelation alumni possibly for hire, and me being super-invested in getting you employment because you're my close buddy?
By taking care of yourself I mean keeping your home clean and equipped and yourself healthy, in the case I was vague. That's a pretty recognised standard. I care enough to ask, but not enough to feed you. We are not friends or family.
You must think that having close friends around will help you, yet the people around you, as you've stated developed mental illnesses..
My mother was moving in that direction before I was born. I am certain the realities of having to raise children further exacebrated her emerging condition. But in any case we all need a support system. If the one we've been dealt with by nature isn't cutting it, we should go on and find another, not just settle for nothing.
Who's to say that these people won't try to do what you allowed to happen to your family
This is a valid concern. There is no way to be safe from what other people can do to you. Intimacy is always a risk so we must be equipped to deal. We learn what people are more dangerous and whom to trust. Traumatic experiences inhibit this and must be dealt with one way or another otherwise we are left alone. Every time we get hurt, we grow a thicker skin. If we are deeply wounded to the point where we can't bounce back and are disfunctional, we seek professional help.
I was raised by my family, but when you're taken care for for so long, eventually you want to take care of yourself.. to think for yourself.. to find answers for yourself.. It becomes hard to listen to other people tell you what to do.
I agree 100%, as I said, if it's just the family part, alright, you're a 25 year old person, I understand that. But very few outsiders will care about you in a time of need as much as blood.
But I try hard not to tell others what to do while I find my sense of self.. I just tell myself to do things and convey what I'm understanding, relate it with things around me so I can see myself in them, and maybe find something inbetween each other that we both understand.
You are making sermons but I doubt anyone understands you, this is not intimacy. You state your goal clearly: find something inbetween each other that we both understand. Wonderful! But is that being achieved? And let's just say I am an outlier case. Are there other people on whom your recent methods (book & videos) are successful?