Mostly this look fine to me.
There's a problem with the sideburns. In the original sketch, they follow the lines in the throat, in your edit it follows the line of the jaw and runs into the blue stripes (woad I guess?).
The blue stripe on the near shoulder (our right) is straight, which flattens out that part of the anatomy. You might have to look at a reference to get a better curve.
You might increase the value contrast of the skin tones. The shadows under the chin are overpowered by the stronger orange-blue contrasts.
Tourist