I'm sorry if this all a lot for a first effort.
Not in the least! To be honest, apart from the internet I don't get any critiques at all. And when I was in school what I got was seldom in-depth. So I'm very very thankful to get such critique!
I see now much clearer where I didn't succeeded to communicate the story and where it lacks in tension. To overcome that I have to practice futher, that's for sure. But I think it lacks in something different (and maybe most important) which you probably noticed but didn't persist (because not to insult me?). It's the lack of love or passion which I didn't or more precisely can't add into my work (not this comic only but everything I create).
You said I didn't add any toys and stuff into the children's room. Is that because I'm not versed enough or too lazy? Maybe, I'm not sure. But to be honest, I didn't even think of that. I didn't think of creating a mood, to empathize the reader into the boy. You say the second page don't communicate any feelings. I totally agree. But I have no Idea how I feels to be that young boy. Is that something which can be learned through studying gestures and facial expressions? Or will that automaticly occur if there's enough life experience which you can depend on?
Now, when I look back at this and other works I see, that these were created plainly with logic and no single feel. Logic is always limited where feelings are the language of the subconsciousness and therefore unlimited, independent and free.
I think I have to work really hard to express feelings first and put that god damn logic out of my head.
Yesterday I read a interview with Hayao Miyazaki where he said, that he belives, that classic animation will die some day. And that's because of the childrens, which grow up in what he calls a virtual world. Nearly everything which they consume are artificial produced, the pictures they see don't really exist, no real connection to the nature, no experience with it and less close communication with other humans. But exactly these experiences lead to masterpieces like his animation films (and I think art in general). And when the experience dies, the art dies too. - These days I really feel like I'm a virual human.
Don't feel responsible Helm. I don't feel such because of your crits. But I think now I can mention it here and maybe some of you have a "cure" for that "new illness" (
which just happend to be my life experience)