Correct me if I'm wrong but the sprite that inspired you was from this topic http://www.wayofthepixel.net/pixelation/index.php?topic=5604
I like it, but I feel youre a bit heavy on the highlights and your lighting doesnt seem to have any direction. On the hat it looks like its straight ahead and high up, yet the arms it looks like its coming from either side and the rest seems to be straight ahead but the shadow makes it seem like its directly overhead. Also it is too symmetrical and wooden, but I have the same problem with some of my work so cant really criticise.
It would be interesting to see what Ben2theEdge thinks as he did the original.
ohh deffinitely fanart then.
Asturias when you directly copy someone elses character design you need to state the source and not just say you were inspired by..'something'
anyways on to some critique
1. your original.
2. Two major problems i see with this are that you've got pillow shading -everywhere-, and as skoby suggested, your highlighting seems to be too much and just kind of random. Personally I would get rid of all the shading/details and start from scratch.
3. Pillow shading makes things look billowy and kind of blurred. Why use it when you could use anti-aliasing? Take a look around the bottom of the pants now. Compare it against the jaggies of #2.
4. Your dude seems to be suffering from marshmallowitus, haha. Everything is kind of puffed out for no apparent reason. Perhaps try making his legs straight?
5.Again with the marshallowitus but this time around the stomach. Try redefining that line between the stomach and arms to look less rounded.
6.In your original although there was highlighting..suggesting some sort of depth there really werent any shadows to warrant that. I'm sure the jacket is goign to stick out atleast a little farther than the arms. use some shadow on the sides to define that.
7.A few thigns on this last edit here.
a.You do not need to always use 'lines' to define an area. In this case I'm talking about the collar. You can easily just use shadow to show where it starts/stops.
b.The buttons seemed to be in an odd place. Should there not be one holding the collar closed? Try moving them up and spacing them out.
c.The palette for your lil dudes clothing could -easily- replace the skin palette . Don't use extra colours when you dont need to
So to recap
Always give credit when copying someone elses work
Do NOT pillow shade. ever.
a/a likes you. it is your friend.
use shading instead of outright 'lines' when/where you can
don't create new palettes for something when you can reuse colours already in use on the piece
Now obviously the way i chose to shade the example (lack of any highlighting and not many details) was just personal preference, but i hope it helps you.