I think you had good contrast on your initial one, one of the things that is frequently hard for people taking their first steps in pixel art to get right.
I think it just needed better definition of the cilindrical and fire volumes, careful usage of outlines, a better shading for the fire (usually, you shouldn't try to add a line with an in-between color between two other colors, doesn't work too well. Instead, make that inbetween color part be an area that merges the two parts together).