You’ve seen it. It’s that grainy, awkwardly cropped image or a chaotic tweet featuring a trio that looks just a little bit too happy or a little bit too confused. Usually, it's a photo of three people, and the caption reads: this is my boyfriend and his boyfriend. It’s short. It’s punchy. It’s a total linguistic loop-de-loop that leaves your brain trying to map out a Venn diagram of relationships in real-time.
Memes like this don't just happen. They evolve. They're basically the digital equivalent of an inside joke that got out of hand and somehow became the universal shorthand for polyamory, chaotic friendships, or just plain old confusion.
But where did it actually come from? Honestly, the internet is a messy place, and tracking down a "patient zero" for a meme is like trying to find a specific grain of sand at the beach. Most people point back to the mid-2010s on Tumblr and Twitter. It started as a genuine way for people in polyamorous relationships to introduce their partners without writing a whole manifesto. Then, the internet did what the internet does. It turned it into a format.
The weirdly wholesome origins of the this is my boyfriend and his boyfriend meme
If we're being real, the phrase likely originated in LGBTQ+ circles. It was a simple, declarative sentence. It bypassed the need for long-winded explanations about "throuples" or "ethical non-monogamy." It just was. But the moment it hit mainstream social media, the context shifted from "hey, look at my life" to "hey, look at this weirdly specific phrasing."
The magic of the this is my boyfriend and his boyfriend meme is the rhythm. It’s a linguistic "garden path sentence." You think you know where the sentence is going, and then it doubles back on itself.
- "This is my boyfriend..." (Okay, cool.)
- "...and his boyfriend." (Wait, what?)
It forces a double-take. That split second of cognitive dissonance is exactly what makes a meme "sticky." You have to process it. You have to decide if the speaker is also dating the second guy, or if they’re just a very supportive third wheel.
By 2018 and 2019, the meme hit its stride. It wasn't just about real people anymore. It became a way to describe fictional characters, celebrities, or even inanimate objects. If three things existed in a vaguely related group, someone, somewhere, was going to use that caption.
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Why we can't stop using this specific format
Why does this keep working? It's not just the shock value. It’s the economy of words. We live in a world of character limits and dwindling attention spans. Why explain a complex emotional dynamic when six words can do it for you?
Modern humor relies heavily on "post-irony." We like things that are sincere and ridiculous at the same time. The this is my boyfriend and his boyfriend meme fits this perfectly. It can be used to celebrate a genuine poly relationship, but it can also be used to mock the weirdly intense "bromance" between two actors on a press tour while the female lead stands awkwardly to the side.
Think about the "Distracted Boyfriend" meme. You know the one—the guy looking at the girl in the red dress while his girlfriend looks on in horror. Now, imagine a version where they're all just holding hands. That’s the energy we’re talking about. It’s a subversion of the traditional jealousy tropes we've been fed by rom-coms for decades.
The Pop Culture Crossover
You see this meme pop up every time a new movie with a trio comes out.
- Challengers (2024) was a goldmine for this.
- The Spider-Man "No Way Home" press tour? Absolutely.
- Every single K-Pop group with a popular "ship"? You bet.
It’s a tool for fans to project their own headcanons onto celebrities. It’s harmless, mostly. It’s a way of saying "these three people have a vibe that I can’t quite explain, so I’m going to use this pre-packaged joke to do it for me."
The technical side of the viral loop
If you’re wondering why this shows up in your feed even if you don't follow meme accounts, it’s about engagement metrics. Platforms like Instagram and TikTok love "shareable" content. A photo with a confusing or provocative caption like "this is my boyfriend and his boyfriend" triggers more "Save" and "Send" actions because people want to show their friends the "weird" thing they found.
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The algorithm doesn't know it's a joke. It just knows that 400 people clicked "share" in the last ten minutes. So, it pushes it to 4,000 more. This is how a simple photo of three guys at a Starbucks becomes a global talking point for 48 hours before being replaced by a cat falling off a sofa.
Misunderstandings and the "Erasure" Debate
It hasn't all been laughs and retweets, though. There’s a legitimate conversation about how this meme interacts with real-life polyamory. Some people in the community feel like the meme trivializes their relationships, turning their lives into a punchline.
Others argue the opposite. They think the meme helps normalize the idea that relationships don't have to be just two people. It’s a weird tension. On one hand, you have a joke. On the other, you have a lifestyle that people still face actual discrimination for.
When a brand uses the this is my boyfriend and his boyfriend meme to sell, say, a three-pack of socks, it feels a bit "corporate cringe." It’s that "How do you do, fellow kids?" energy. It strips the original queer context away for the sake of a Like.
Does it actually matter?
Probably not in the long run. Memes are ephemeral. They’re digital ghosts. But they do reflect the "vibe shift" of the era. Ten years ago, this caption would have been met with total confusion or hostility in mainstream spaces. Today? It’s just another Tuesday on the timeline.
How to spot a "This Is My Boyfriend and His Boyfriend" meme in the wild
You’ll know it by the specific visual language.
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- The "Third Wheel" shot: One person looking slightly out of place while the other two are in their own world.
- The "Poly Pile": A group of people Cuddled up where it's impossible to tell who belongs to whom.
- The "Action Figure" variant: Using toys or inanimate objects to recreate the dynamic.
It’s a flexible mold. You can pour almost any fandom or situation into it, and it’ll still hold its shape. That’s the mark of a truly great meme. It’s not about the content; it’s about the structure.
What this says about our humor today
We're moving away from "setup-punchline" jokes. We like "situation-vibe" jokes now. The this is my boyfriend and his boyfriend meme doesn't have a punchline in the traditional sense. The punchline is the situation itself. It’s the acceptance of the unconventional.
It’s also deeply rooted in "stan culture." Fans love to obsess over the dynamics of their favorite stars. By labeling a trio with this caption, they’re creating a narrative. They’re participating in the story. It’s interactive.
Basically, it’s a way for us to make sense of a world that is increasingly non-linear. We don't want simple stories anymore. We want "and," not "or."
If you're looking to use this meme or understand it better for your own content, keep these things in mind:
- Respect the roots. Acknowledge that this started in queer and poly spaces before it was a TikTok trend.
- Context is everything. It works best when there's a visible "connection" between all three parties that feels slightly ambiguous.
- Don't overthink it. The best versions of this meme are the ones that feel spontaneous and a little bit messy.
- Watch for the pivot. Memes die when they become too polished. If you see a major bank using this in an ad, it’s officially over.
The best way to stay ahead of the curve is to look at how people are subverting the meme. Now, you might see "this is my boyfriend and his boyfriend’s boyfriend," adding a fourth layer to the chaos. It’s an endless chain of human connection, or at least, an endless chain of people trying to be funny on the internet.
Keep an eye on niche Twitter (or X, if you must) and smaller Discord servers. That’s where the next iteration of this linguistic gymnastics is currently being born. By the time it hits your Facebook feed, it’ll be a fossil, but it’ll still be a fascinating look at how we talk about love, friendship, and the awkwardness of being a person in a group of three.
Next Steps for Content Creators:
To leverage this trend effectively, focus on "trio dynamics" in your niche. Identify three characters, products, or concepts that have an overlapping, slightly confusing relationship. Use the caption sparingly and ensure the visual matches the "unplanned" aesthetic of the original meme to avoid looking like a corporate interloper. For those interested in the sociological side, researching "Poly-Twitter" history provides a much deeper look into how these linguistic structures moved from subculture to mainstream.---