Mother’s Day is complicated. Honestly, for a long time, the greeting cards and the TV commercials made it feel like there was only one "right" way to celebrate. You know the drill—a picture-perfect brunch, a bouquet of peonies, and a card addressed to a biological mom who fits a very specific mold. But the reality on the ground has changed. When people say Mother’s Day to all now, they aren’t just being polite. They are acknowledging a massive, messy, beautiful shift in how we define caregiving.
It's not just about birth certificates anymore.
The traditional "nuclear family" setup is actually in the minority these days. Data from the Pew Research Center shows that family structures have diversified wildly over the last few decades. We’re talking about multi-generational households, LGBTQ+ parents, "bonus" moms, and people who have stepped into the role of a mother because life demanded it. So, when that Mother’s Day to all message hits your social media feed, it’s a nod to the aunt who raised you, the dad playing both roles, and the mentor who kept you from crashing and burning in your twenties.
The Surprising History of a "Commercial" Holiday
Most people think Hallmark invented this day to sell cards. They didn't. Anna Jarvis, the woman who actually got Mother’s Day onto the official U.S. calendar in 1914, ended up hating what it became. She wanted a day of quiet reflection and a simple white carnation to honor the "person who has done more for you than anyone in the world." She actually spent the rest of her life—and her inheritance—fighting to have the holiday abolished because it got too commercial.
She'd probably be shocked by the $35 billion we spend on it now.
But there’s a deeper layer here. Jarvis’s original vision was intimate. It wasn't about a generic "Mom" figure; it was about the specific labor of care. This is where the modern Mother’s Day to all sentiment actually aligns with history more than the 1950s version did. It’s returning to that idea of honoring the act of mothering, regardless of who is doing the work.
Why We’re Moving Toward a "Mother’s Day to All" Mentality
Why the shift? Because for a lot of people, the second Sunday in May is a minefield. If you’ve lost a mother, or if you’ve struggled with infertility, or if your relationship with your mother is, well, "it's complicated," the standard celebrations can feel like a slap in the face.
💡 You might also like: Bird Feeders on a Pole: What Most People Get Wrong About Backyard Setups
Acknowledge the grief. It’s there.
Psychologists often talk about "disenfranchised grief" during holidays. This is the pain people feel when their loss isn't openly acknowledged by society. By broadening the scope to Mother’s Day to all, we create space for the woman who is a mother at heart but doesn't have a child in her arms. We acknowledge the foster moms who provide a soft landing for kids in crisis. We see the grandmother who is starting over with a toddler at age sixty-five.
It’s about inclusivity, sure, but it’s also about accuracy. The world runs on the unpaid, often invisible labor of women (and men) who nurture others. To limit that celebration to a single biological definition feels... small.
The Rise of the "Bonus Mom" and Chosen Family
Step-parenting is no joke. The "evil stepmother" trope is finally dying a slow death, replaced by the "bonus mom." According to the U.S. Census Bureau, millions of children live in blended families. These relationships are forged in the trenches of homework, flu seasons, and teenage angst. They aren't "less than" just because there’s no shared DNA.
Then you have chosen families. In many communities, especially within the LGBTQ+ world, "mothers" are the elder figures who provide the emotional safety net that biological families might have withdrawn. When we wish a Mother’s Day to all in these circles, it’s a profound recognition of survival and communal love.
The Elephant in the Room: Commercialization vs. Connection
Let's be real for a second. Every year, my inbox gets flooded with "Opt-out" emails from brands. "We know Mother’s Day can be hard," they say. "Click here to stop seeing our ads."
📖 Related: Barn Owl at Night: Why These Silent Hunters Are Creepier (and Cooler) Than You Think
This is a huge trend.
Brands like DoorDash, Etsy, and many flower delivery services started doing this around 2021. It was a response to the realization that forced celebration can be alienating. It’s a smart business move, but it also reflects a growing cultural empathy. We are finally realizing that you can’t force a "Happy" Mother’s Day on everyone.
How to Actually Celebrate "Mother’s Day to All" Without Being Cliche
If you want to move beyond the "Best Mom Ever" mug, you have to look at the people in your life who actually do the heavy lifting.
The Solo Parent: If you know a single dad or a single mom who is doing it all alone, don’t just send a text. Drop off a meal. Offer to take the kids to the park for two hours so they can stare at a wall in silence. That is the highest form of "mothering" you can provide them.
The Bereaved: For a friend who lost their mom, the day is heavy. A simple message like, "Thinking of you today, I know it’s a tough one," goes a long way. You don’t need to fix it. You just need to witness it.
The Mentors: Reach out to that boss or teacher who saw something in you when you were a mess. Tell them, "You mothered me when I needed it most." It sounds intense, but honestly? It’s the best compliment they’ll ever get.
👉 See also: Baba au Rhum Recipe: Why Most Home Bakers Fail at This French Classic
The "Non-Traditional" Mother: If someone is a foster parent or a guardian, acknowledge the unique weight they carry. Their path isn't the standard one, and it often comes with a lot of paperwork and heartache alongside the joy.
What Most People Get Wrong About the Holiday
The biggest misconception is that Mother's Day is a "Hallmark Holiday." As we saw with Anna Jarvis, it started as a grassroots movement. It was actually rooted in activism. Julia Ward Howe, who wrote the "Battle Hymn of the Republic," suggested a Mother’s Day for Peace back in 1870. She wanted mothers to unite to prevent the "waste of human life" in war.
She didn't want brunch. She wanted a global political movement.
When we say Mother’s Day to all, we can tap back into that power. Mothering is an act of fierce protection. It’s an act of building a future. Whether that’s done in a nursery, a classroom, a hospital, or a boardroom, the energy is the same. It’s about stewardship.
Actionable Steps for a More Meaningful Day
Stop worrying about the "perfect" gift. The statistics on returned gifts after Mother’s Day are staggering. People want connection, not more stuff.
- Audit your list. Who in your life is "mothering" right now? It might be your sister who is caring for your aging parents. It might be your best friend who just adopted a senior dog. It might be the neighbor who watches everyone's kids on the street.
- Write the letter. In a world of 15-second TikToks, a handwritten note is a superpower. Be specific. Don’t just say "you're great." Say, "I remember when you told me [X] and it changed how I looked at myself."
- Support the cause. If the commercial side of the day bugs you, donate in someone’s name. Organizations like Moms Demand Action or local women’s shelters are actually doing the work of protecting and nurturing families.
- Be Kind to Yourself. If you are the one doing the mothering, lower the bar. You don’t need to host the perfect dinner. You don’t need to look "Instagram-ready." The most "Mother’s Day" thing you can do is actually take a breath.
Mother’s Day to all isn't just a catchy phrase for a caption. It’s a recognition that the world is held together by people who choose to care. It’s a wide, inclusive umbrella that covers the grief, the joy, the biological, and the chosen.
Take a look around your immediate circle. There is someone there who is nurturing something—a child, a project, a community, or a friend. They deserve the recognition. Not because a calendar says so, but because the work they do is the literal glue of our society.
Make the call. Send the text. Recognize the labor. That’s how you actually celebrate.