You probably think forgetting is a failure. It feels like a glitch in the brain’s software, a sign of aging, or just plain old clumsiness. But there’s this famous line—blessed are the forgetful for they get the better—that turns that whole idea on its head. It isn't just a clever Instagram caption or a poetic scrap from an indie movie. It’s actually a heavy-hitting philosophical argument. Friedrich Nietzsche wrote it in Beyond Good and Evil, and honestly, he wasn't talking about where you left your car keys.
Memory is heavy.
If you remembered every single slight, every cringe-worthy thing you said in 2014, and every time someone let you down, you’d be paralyzed. You literally wouldn't be able to move forward. Nietzsche’s point was that forgetting is an active power. It's a "form of robust health," as he put it. We live in a world that documents everything. Your phone reminds you of what you were doing five years ago today, even if it was a day you'd rather forget. We are losing the ability to let go, and it’s making us miserable.
The Philosophy Behind the Quote
When Nietzsche said blessed are the forgetful for they get the better of even their blunders, he was attacking the idea that "more memory equals more wisdom." He believed that the ability to forget—active forgetfulness—was necessary for happiness. Without it, you are just a walking museum of old grudges and dead ideas.
Think about it this way. Imagine your brain is a hard drive. If you never delete anything, the system slows down. Eventually, it crashes. Humans aren't much different. Nietzsche saw "forgetting" as a digestive process for the mind. If you can't digest your experiences—including the bad ones—you get "mental indigestion." You become bitter. You become obsessed with the past.
There is a huge difference between being "forgetful" because you’re distracted and being "forgetful" because you refuse to let the past define your present. Nietzsche was obsessed with the idea of the Übermensch, or the Overman. This person doesn't carry around a backpack full of "should-haves" and "could-haves." They forget the sting of the blunder so they can try something new.
Why Science Might Actually Agree With Nietzsche
Modern neuroscience is starting to back this up. It turns out that forgetting isn't just a failure of memory; it’s a biological necessity. Research from the University of Toronto, published in the journal Neuron, suggests that the goal of memory is not to transmit the most accurate information over time. Instead, the goal of memory is to optimize intelligent decision-making.
The brain actually spends energy trying to forget. This is called "active forgetting." If you remembered every single detail of every day, your brain would be cluttered with irrelevant data. You wouldn’t be able to see the forest for the trees. To make good decisions in the present, your brain has to prune the past.
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It’s about "transience."
When we hold onto everything, we experience what psychologists call "proactive interference." That’s when old memories prevent you from learning new things. So, in a very literal, biological sense, blessed are the forgetful for they get the better because their brains are cleared out for new, better information. They aren't stuck in a loop.
The Eternal Sunshine Connection
You’ve probably heard this quote because of the 2004 film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. In the movie, Mary (played by Kirsten Dunst) quotes Alexander Pope’s poem "Eloisa to Abelard," which is where the "spotless mind" part comes from, but the sentiment is pure Nietzsche.
The characters in the movie literally pay to have memories of their exes erased. They want the "better" of their blunders by deleting them entirely. But the movie offers a warning: if you don't learn from the blunder, you're doomed to repeat it. Nietzsche wasn't suggesting we become mindless zombies. He was suggesting we move past the emotional weight of the event.
There's a nuance here.
- Forgetting the pain is good.
- Forgetting the lesson is dangerous.
- Forgetting the grudge is essential.
The Social Cost of Total Recall
We live in the "Digital Panopticon." Everything is recorded. If you made a mistake ten years ago, there’s likely a digital trail of it somewhere. This is the opposite of what Nietzsche advocated. Society has become "un-forgetting." We hold people to things they said in a different era of their lives, essentially denying them the right to grow.
When Nietzsche claimed blessed are the forgetful for they get the better, he was also talking about the freedom to reinvent yourself. If you are constantly reminded of who you were, how can you ever become who you want to be?
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The "better" that forgetful people get is psychological freedom. They aren't bound by the "it’s always been this way" mentality. They can walk into a room and see possibilities where someone with a long memory only sees ghosts of past failures.
How to Practice Strategic Forgetfulness
So, how do you actually apply this? You can't just flip a switch and delete memories like a file on a computer. But you can change your relationship with the past. It's about "cognitive reframing."
First, stop ruminating. Ruminating is the act of chewing on a memory over and over again without ever swallowing it. It’s the "mental indigestion" Nietzsche warned about. When a bad memory pops up, acknowledge it, and then consciously decide that it no longer serves you.
Second, embrace the "new." The best way to forget the old is to crowd it out with the new. Nietzsche loved the idea of the "child"—the third metamorphosis of the spirit. A child lives in the moment. They fall down, they cry, and five minutes later, they’re laughing because they’ve forgotten the fall. They are "getting the better" of the blunder by simply moving on to the next game.
Third, let go of the "record-keeper" mentality. You don't need to document every meal, every sunset, or every argument. Let some things just happen and then let them go. There is a profound peace in knowing that a moment existed and now it is gone, and you don't need a photo or a journal entry to prove it.
The Risks of Too Much Memory
Hyperthymesia is a real condition where people remember nearly every day of their lives in vivid detail. You might think that sounds like a superpower. It’s actually a nightmare for many who have it. They can't escape the grief of a loss from twenty years ago because it feels as fresh as if it happened this morning.
They are the opposite of "blessed" in the Nietzschean sense. They are burdened. They cannot get the "better" of their blunders because the blunders are always present, always screaming for attention.
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For the rest of us, our "forgetfulness" is a gift. It allows us to forgive. You can't truly forgive someone if you have a high-definition recording of their offense playing on a loop in your skull. Forgiveness and forgetting are cousins. You forget the "sting" so you can maintain the relationship.
Actionable Steps for a "Spotless" Perspective
If you want to live a life where you "get the better" of your past, try these shifts in perspective:
Audit your digital reminders. Go into your "On This Day" settings on social media and turn them off. You don't need a daily algorithm-driven trip down memory lane, especially if you're in a phase of growth.
Practice the "Five-Year Rule." When you're beating yourself up over a mistake, ask yourself: "Will this matter in five years?" If the answer is no, give yourself permission to start the forgetting process now.
Focus on the "Draft" mentality. Treat your life like a series of drafts rather than a final, unchangeable manuscript. In a draft, you cross things out. You delete sentences. You move on. The "blunder" was just a sentence that didn't work.
Distinguish between data and drama. You need the "data" (e.g., "don't touch a hot stove") but you don't need the "drama" (e.g., "I am a failure because I touched the stove"). Keep the data, forget the drama.
Forgive yourself for being human. Nietzsche's "forgetful" person is someone who accepts their own humanity. We are messy creatures. We make mistakes. The "better" part of getting the better of a blunder is simply the act of rising above it.
Ultimately, the goal isn't to develop amnesia. It’s to develop a filter. You want to be the gatekeeper of your own mind, deciding what stays and what goes. When you master the art of letting go, you realize that Nietzsche was right. You aren't losing your past; you're gaining your future.
The weight you drop is the momentum you gain. Stop carrying the bricks of your old mistakes and start building something new with the space they left behind. That is how you truly get the better of it all.