If you’ve spent more than five minutes in the true crime corner of the internet, you’ve seen it. It’s on coffee mugs. It’s embroidered on pillows. It’s plastered across bumper stickers in that specific, bubbly font that feels weirdly cheerful for such a heavy sentiment. You're in a cult call your dad isn't just a catchy phrase; it’s a cultural touchstone that defines an entire era of podcasting and digital community building.
But where did it actually come from?
A lot of people think it’s just a random meme. It's not. It started as a throwaway sign-off on My Favorite Murder, the podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Back in the early days of the show, before they had a massive production team and a network of their own, they were just two women talking about the darkest parts of humanity in a way that felt like a Friday night over wine. The phrase caught fire because it tapped into a very specific, very real anxiety that many of their listeners—lovingly called "Murderinos"—shared.
The world feels culty right now. Maybe it always has.
The Birth of a Catchphrase in a Garage
Karen and Georgia didn't sit down with a marketing team to brainstorm a viral slogan. That’s just not how 2016 worked. They were recording in Georgia’s apartment, surrounded by cats and the low-humming anxiety of the true crime genre. The phrase you're in a cult call your dad was born out of their shared fascination with high-control groups and the realization that many people don't actually know they're in one until it’s way too late.
It was a joke. Mostly.
But it was also a piece of genuine advice. In the context of the show, "calling your dad" (or any trusted, grounded family figure) represents a return to reality. It’s about breaking the isolation that cults—and toxic relationships, for that matter—depend on to survive. Cults work by severing your ties to the "outside" world. They make you think that only the leader or the group understands you. By telling someone to call their dad, you’re telling them to reach for a lifeline that existed before the brainwashing started.
It’s actually kinda profound when you stop looking at the merch and start looking at the psychology.
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Why This Specific Phrase Stuck
Why not "You're in a cult, call your mom" or "You're in a cult, get out"?
Specifics matter in branding, even accidental branding. "Dad" carries a specific weight in the true crime world. For many, it represents the "protective" figure, the person who would show up with a truck and a shovel if things went south. It also flows better rhythmically. Try saying it out loud. It has a staccato, urgent energy to it.
The phrase became a shorthand for awareness. It’s a way for fans of the show to identify each other in public. If you see someone wearing a shirt that says you're in a cult call your dad, you immediately know three things about them:
- They probably like true crime.
- They have a dark sense of humor.
- They value skepticism and personal autonomy.
Honestly, it’s a vibe.
But there’s a darker side to the popularity of the phrase. Some critics argue that turning cult survival into a "cool" aesthetic minimizes the actual trauma of people who have escaped groups like NXIVM or the Branch Davidians. When a phrase becomes a commodity, it loses some of its teeth. Is it still a warning if it’s printed on a $45 gold-plated necklace? Maybe. Maybe not.
The "Culty" Nature of Fandom Itself
There is a delicious irony in a massive, dedicated fanbase—one that follows every word of their "leaders" and buys every piece of merchandise—chanting a slogan about how cults are dangerous.
The My Favorite Murder community has faced its own share of internal drama. From controversies regarding the handling of sensitive topics to the inevitable "it was better in the early days" complaints, the fan base has seen it all. At one point, the irony of the phrase you're in a cult call your dad became a point of contention. Fans began to ask: are we in a cult?
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The answer, obviously, is no. You can stop listening to a podcast whenever you want. Nobody is taking your passport or making you work on a fruit farm in upstate New York. But the parasocial relationship—that feeling that Karen and Georgia are your actual best friends—is the "lite" version of the connection cult leaders exploit.
The phrase serves as a self-aware wink. It’s the community saying, "We know we’re obsessed, and we’re keeping an eye on it."
How to Tell if You’re Actually in a Cult
Since the phrase is technically advice, we should probably talk about what it looks like when someone actually needs to make that call. Steven Hassan, a leading expert on cults and the author of The BITE Model of Authoritarian Control, breaks it down into four main pillars: Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotional control.
If you find yourself in a group—whether it’s a CrossFit gym, a multi-level marketing (MLM) scheme, or a religious organization—where you aren't allowed to ask questions, you might want to look for a phone.
Signs that are less obvious than a white robe:
- Love Bombing: At first, everyone is too nice. They tell you you’re special, that you’re the only ones who "get it." It feels amazing until it doesn't.
- The Us vs. Them Mentality: Anyone outside the group is "lost," "evil," or "uninformed." This includes your actual family.
- The Sunk Cost Trap: You’ve spent so much money or time that leaving feels like admitting you were a fool. MLMs are notorious for this.
- Loaded Language: The group starts using specific words or acronyms that only make sense to insiders. It creates a barrier between you and the rest of the world.
If your "community" starts checking these boxes, the phrase you're in a cult call your dad stops being a funny meme and starts being a checklist.
The Evolution of the MFM Brand
The success of this single phrase helped propel the Exactly Right network into a massive business entity. It showed that true crime wasn't just a niche interest for people who stay up too late watching Discovery ID. It was a lifestyle brand.
We’ve seen the phrase evolve. It has inspired spin-off quotes like "Stay Sexy and Don't Get Murdered" (SSDGM), which is arguably even more famous. But "call your dad" has a grit to it that SSDGM lacks. It’s more visceral. It implies an emergency.
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Actionable Steps: What to Do If Things Feel "Culty"
If you’re reading this and realizing that your "high-intensity wellness retreat" or your "new business opportunity" feels a little too much like a cult, here’s how to actually handle it.
First, reconnect with someone outside. The whole point of you're in a cult call your dad is the "call" part. Reach out to a friend from high school, a sibling, or yes, your dad. Talk to someone who knew you before you joined the group. Ask them if you seem different. Listen to their answer without getting defensive.
Second, do a "media fast" from the group. Stop reading their newsletters. Stop going to the meetings for 72 hours. See how your brain feels when it’s not being constantly pumped full of the group’s rhetoric. If you feel intense guilt or fear just for taking a break, that’s a massive red flag.
Third, follow the money. Look at where your resources are going. Cults are almost always an upward siphon of cash. If the person at the top is living in a mansion while you’re struggling to pay rent because of "required" seminars, you aren't a member; you're a customer.
Finally, trust your gut. Karen and Georgia always say "trust your intuition." If something feels off, it usually is. You don't need a 20-page dissertation on cult psychology to know when you’re being manipulated. You just need to listen to that small voice in the back of your head that says this isn't right. The internet will move on to new memes. The fonts will change, and the pillows will be replaced. But the core message of you're in a cult call your dad remains a solid piece of life advice: stay connected to the people who love the real you, not the "group" version of you.
Don't let the community become your identity. Keep your hobbies, keep your outside friends, and for heaven's sake, keep your phone charged.