You’ve seen the meme. It’s usually a grainy photo of a sunset or a stoic-looking wolf, overlaid with some text about an old grandfather talking to his grandson. The story goes like this: there are two wolves fighting inside every person. One is evil—it’s anger, envy, and greed. The other is good—it’s peace, love, and hope. When the boy asks which one wins, the grandfather says, "The one you feed."
It's everywhere.
From self-help seminars to CrossFit t-shirts, the phrase you have two wolves inside you has become a shorthand for modern mindfulness. But there is a massive problem with how we tell this story. Most people credit it as a "Cherokee Legend" or "Ancient Native American Wisdom."
The truth? It isn't.
The Surprising Origin Story
If you look for this story in actual Cherokee oral traditions, you’ll come up empty. It’s not there. Scholars and tribal members have pointed out for years that the binary "Good vs. Evil" framing is much more indicative of Christian theology than indigenous North American worldviews.
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Most researchers trace the core of the story back to Billy Graham. Yes, the famous Christian evangelist. In his 1978 book The Holy Spirit: Activating God's Power in Your Life, Graham tells a version of this story. Before that, a similar iteration appeared in a 1962 Christian publication, often attributed to a "pioneer preacher."
It’s a classic case of cultural attribution gone wrong.
We love the idea of "ancient wisdom." It gives a meme more weight. If a story comes from a generic, nameless "elder," it feels deeper than if it comes from a 20th-century sermon. This is what researchers call "fakelore." It’s a catchy narrative dressed up in the clothes of a culture it doesn't belong to.
Why the Two Wolves Meme Stuck
Why do we keep sharing it? Because it’s simple.
Life is messy. Human psychology is a disaster zone of conflicting impulses. One minute you want to be the kind of person who wakes up at 5 AM and meditates, and the next minute you’re three hours deep into a TikTok rabbit hole eating cold pizza. The you have two wolves inside you metaphor offers a way to categorize that chaos. It makes the internal struggle feel winnable.
It suggests that willpower is the only variable. Just feed the "good" wolf. Stop feeding the "bad" one.
The simplicity is the draw, but it’s also the flaw.
The Psychological Reality of Feeding Your Wolves
In actual clinical psychology, trying to "starve" a part of yourself usually backfires. Hard.
If you have a "wolf" of anger or anxiety, and you try to ignore it or starve it out of existence, it doesn't just go away. It gets hungry. It gets desperate. Eventually, that starved wolf is going to break out of its cage and wreck the place.
Therapists often use a framework called Internal Family Systems (IFS). In IFS, you don’t have two wolves; you have a whole pack of "parts." None of them are inherently evil. Even the "bad" ones—the ones that make you lash out or procrastinate—are usually just trying to protect you in a misguided way.
Instead of starving the angry wolf, an IFS practitioner might suggest talking to it. Why is it angry? What is it afraid of? When you acknowledge the wolf, it usually calms down. You don't "win" by killing off half of your personality. You win by becoming a better pack leader.
The Lost Ending (The Real Moral?)
There is a "corrected" version of the story that has circulated in recent years, often shared by indigenous writers like Sandra Kim. In this version, the grandfather explains that you must feed both wolves.
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Think about it.
If you only feed the good wolf, the bad one will be waiting around every corner, waiting for you to get tired or weak so he can pounce. But if you feed them both, they both become strong and serve a purpose. The "evil" wolf—representing things like fire, ferocity, and survival instincts—has qualities you need in a crisis. The "good" wolf has the compassion and steady hand you need for community.
When they are both fed and healthy, they stop fighting for your soul. They sit at your feet. They coexist.
This version is much more aligned with the concept of balance found in many indigenous philosophies, compared to the Western "Good vs. Evil" showdown. It moves the goalposts from victory to harmony.
How to Actually Apply This
So, you’re feeling the tug-of-war. You’re stressed, you’re scrolling, you’re feeling like a failure. The you have two wolves inside you mindset tells you to feel guilty for "feeding" the wrong side.
Let's try something else.
1. Identify the Wolf
What is the specific feeling? Don't just call it "the bad wolf." Is it Fear? Is it Resentment? Give it a name that isn't a moral judgment.
2. Stop the Starvation Diet
If you’re feeling massive amounts of envy, don't just try to suppress it with "gratitude." Ask what the envy is pointing toward. Usually, it’s a sign of something you actually want for yourself but are afraid to pursue. Feed that desire with action, not the envy with rumination.
3. Check the Source
Whenever you see a "legend" or "proverb" online, take ten seconds to Google it. Misattribution matters. When we slap a "Cherokee" label on a story written by a white preacher in the 60s, we are participating in a type of cultural erasure. We’re replacing real, complex indigenous histories with a "Noble Savage" caricature that fits nicely on a Pinterest board.
Moving Beyond the Binary
The world isn't a battle between black and white wolves. It’s a gray, messy forest.
The popularity of the two wolves trope says more about our desire for control than it does about human nature. We want to believe that if we just "choose" the right thoughts, we'll be happy. But life requires the "darker" instincts too. You need your shadow. You need your bite.
You aren't a battleground. You're an ecosystem.
Actionable Steps for Internal Balance
- Audit your "feeding" habits: For one day, track how often you engage in "starvation tactics" (suppressing emotions) versus "feeding tactics" (addressing the root cause).
- Rewrite the narrative: Next time you feel an internal conflict, visualize the two wolves sitting down together. What would happen if they stopped fighting and started communicating?
- Verify your wisdom: Check sites like Native Appropriations by Dr. Adrienne Keene to see if the "ancient proverbs" you share are actually rooted in the cultures they claim to represent.
- Practice Integration: Use journaling to give a voice to your "bad" wolf. Let it speak without judging it. You might find it’s just a tired protector that needs a break.