Freedom is a heavy word. Most people spend their entire lives complaining about the things they "have" to do, but the moment you tell someone you can do whatever you like, they usually freeze. It’s a paradox of modern life. We crave the ability to choose our own paths, yet the sheer lack of guardrails can lead to a specific kind of existential vertigo that psychologists often call the "tyranny of choice."
Think about it.
We wake up to alarms we didn't set by choice, go to jobs we tolerate to pay for houses we rarely spend time in, and follow social scripts written decades before we were born. But what happens if you actually lean into the idea of radical autonomy? It isn't just a catchy phrase from a T.I. song or a motivational poster; it’s a terrifyingly real philosophical framework that most of us are too scared to actually test.
The Science of Agency and Why Choice Matters
Self-Determination Theory (SDT) is basically the gold standard here. Developed by psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan at the University of Rochester, this theory suggests that human well-being hangs on three pegs: competence, relatedness, and—most importantly—autonomy.
Autonomy doesn't mean being a lone wolf. It means your actions are self-authored. When you truly feel that you can do whatever you like, your intrinsic motivation skyrockets. You aren't doing it for the "likes" or the paycheck. You’re doing it because it aligns with your internal compass.
But there’s a catch.
Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology indicates that when people are given too much freedom without a clear sense of purpose, they actually report higher levels of anxiety. It’s like being dropped in the middle of the ocean. Sure, you can swim in any direction, but without a shore in sight, the freedom feels a lot like drowning.
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Reality Check: The Limits of Doing Whatever You Like
We have to be honest. You can’t literally do whatever you like without consequences. Gravity exists. Laws exist. Social contracts are a thing. If you decide you like the idea of driving 120 mph through a school zone, the universe (and the local police) will provide very immediate feedback.
True autonomy isn't about the absence of restrictions. It’s about the presence of intentionality.
I remember reading about a guy who decided to live a "yes" year. He committed to the idea that he could do whatever he liked, provided he was invited or the opportunity arose. He ended up exhausted, broke, and miserable. Why? Because he surrendered his selection process. He wasn't actually doing what he liked; he was doing what everyone else liked, just without his usual filters.
The Financial Guardrails
Let’s talk about money, because pretending it doesn't matter is a luxury only the ultra-wealthy can afford. For the average person, the dream of "doing whatever you like" usually hits a wall called rent.
However, we’re seeing a massive shift in how people navigate this. The FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early) movement is basically a giant experiment in radical autonomy. By aggressively saving and living far below their means, people are buying back their time. They aren't necessarily sitting on a beach; they’re working on projects that don't need to turn a profit. That is the ultimate expression of you can do whatever you like. It’s the ability to say "no" to a toxic boss because your survival isn't tied to their whim.
Why We Sabotage Our Own Freedom
It’s easier to be told what to do. Honestly.
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When someone else sets the deadline, provides the syllabus, or gives you a 9-to-5 schedule, they are also taking the blame for your boredom or lack of fulfillment. If you accept the premise that you can do whatever you like, you also have to accept that if your life is boring, it’s your fault.
That is a bitter pill to swallow.
Barry Schwartz, in his book The Paradox of Choice, argues that "maximizers"—people who want the absolute best option—suffer more than "satisficers," who are okay with "good enough." If you believe you can do anything, you’re constantly looking over your shoulder to see if you’re missing out on something better. It’s a recipe for permanent FOMO.
Breaking the Scripts: How to Actually Practice Autonomy
So, how do you actually start living like you can do whatever you like without ruining your life? It starts with micro-autonomy.
Most of us are on autopilot. We eat the same breakfast, take the same route to work, and scroll the same three apps before bed. Breaking the script doesn't require quitting your job and moving to Bali. It starts with questioning the "defaults" in your life.
- The "Why" Audit: For one week, ask yourself "Why am I doing this?" for every single task. If the answer is "Because I have to," dig deeper. Do you have to, or are you just afraid of the social friction of saying no?
- Radical Scheduling: Block out two hours on a Saturday where there are zero plans. No chores. No gym. No "productive" hobbies. Just sit there until you actually want to do something. You'll be surprised how long it takes for your brain to stop suggesting things you "should" do and start suggesting things you actually like.
- The Cost of "No": Calculate the actual cost of rebelling. If you stopped doing that one thing you hate, what's the worst-case scenario? Often, the social "penalty" we fear is way smaller than the mental toll of compliance.
The Social Component
People will hate it. Let's be real. When you start acting like you can do whatever you like, it holds up a mirror to the people around you who feel trapped. If you suddenly stop going to the Friday happy hour that everyone secretly hates, you aren't just skipping a drink. You're challenging the unspoken rule that everyone has to suffer through it together.
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Expect pushback. People prefer you predictable.
The Existential Upside
The philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre talked about "bad faith"—the act of lying to yourself that you don't have a choice. He famously said we are "condemned to be free." It’s a condemnation because it’s a burden, but it’s also the only way to live authentically.
When you realize that you can do whatever you like, the world gets bigger. You might still choose to stay in your current job. You might still choose to live in the same town. But the choice transforms the experience. It’s no longer a prison sentence; it’s a strategic decision.
There is a huge difference between being stuck and choosing to stay.
Actionable Steps Toward Radical Autonomy
If you want to move from feeling trapped to feeling like you're in the driver's seat, stop looking for a map. Maps are for people following someone else's trail. You need a compass.
- Define your "Non-Negotiables": Write down three things you will not compromise on, regardless of the pressure. This creates a "no-go zone" that protects your autonomy.
- Test the "Small Sins": Wear something slightly "too much" for the grocery store. Take a different way home. Eat dessert for breakfast. These tiny acts of defiance re-wire your brain to realize that the world doesn't end when you deviate from the norm.
- Audit your "Shoulds": Look at your to-do list. Cross out anything that starts with "I should." Replace it with "I choose to" or "I choose not to." If "I choose to" feels like a lie, you've found a point of friction that needs your attention.
- Build an "Exit Fund": Freedom is much easier when you have "f-you money." Even a small savings account dedicated to giving you breathing room changes your posture in negotiations and life.
Ultimately, the realization that you can do whatever you like is the beginning of adulthood. It’s the moment you stop waiting for permission that was never going to come anyway. The stakes are high, but the alternative is just living out someone else's boring dream.