Let's be real. If you search for women's favorite sexual position, you’re usually met with a list of acrobatic maneuvers that look great on a glossy magazine cover but feel like a HIIT workout in the bedroom. It’s kinda exhausting. Most of the "advice" out there assumes every woman wants the same thing, which is just biologically and psychologically false.
Sex is messy. It’s personal.
What works for one person’s anatomy might be literally painful for another’s. According to a massive study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy involving over 1,000 women, only about 18% of women can reach orgasm through penetration alone. That single statistic changes the entire conversation about "favorites." It’s not just about the pose; it’s about the access.
The Undisputed Heavyweight: Why Cowgirl Always Wins
When researchers ask, the answer is almost always the same. Whether it’s a Cosmopolitan reader poll or a more clinical survey by sex-toy retailers like Lovehoney or Adam & Eve, "Woman on Top" (Cowgirl) consistently takes the gold medal.
Why? It’s not about laziness. It’s about agency.
In this position, the woman controls the depth, the speed, and—most importantly—the angle. Most women need clitoral stimulation to peak. In Cowgirl, you can lean forward to create that friction against your partner's pubic bone. You’re in the driver’s seat. It’s basically the difference between being a passenger in a car driven by a maniac and actually holding the steering wheel yourself. Plus, you’ve got easy access to touch yourself, which is a massive factor in satisfaction that many people overlook.
Variations that actually matter
Sometimes the standard Cowgirl feels a bit... exposed? Or maybe it’s just tiring on the knees. This is where "Reverse Cowgirl" or the "Grinding Cowgirl" comes in. The latter involves more of a rocking motion than a bouncing one. It’s subtle. It’s about surface area contact. By staying low and grinding, you maximize that clitoral contact that the aforementioned study highlighted as crucial for 82% of women.
Doggy Style: The Love-Hate Relationship
Doggy style is polarizing. You’ll find it at the top of many "favorite" lists, but it also appears on "least favorite" lists frequently.
The depth is the draw. For women who enjoy deep penetration or G-spot stimulation, this is the one. However, the lack of face-to-face intimacy can make it feel a bit clinical or disconnected for some. There's also the "bottoming out" factor. If the cervix gets hit at the wrong angle, it’s not pleasurable—it’s a sharp, localized pain.
To fix this, many experts, like sex educator Dr. Emily Nagoski (author of Come As You Are), suggest the "Modified Doggy." Instead of being up on all fours, the woman drops down to her elbows or even flat on her stomach (the "Prone Bone" variation). This changes the pelvic tilt. It narrows the vaginal canal slightly and creates a tighter, more friction-heavy experience that many find way more intense.
Missionary Isn't "Vanilla" If You Do It Right
We need to stop hating on missionary. Honestly. It’s become a shorthand for boring sex, but for many, it’s actually the women's favorite sexual position because of the intimacy involved. You can kiss. You can see each other’s faces.
But the standard "legs spread wide" missionary is often a bit lackluster for the person on the bottom.
Enter the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT).
💡 You might also like: Cooking with ingredients you have: Why your pantry is actually a goldmine
This is a specific way of doing missionary that focuses on grinding rather than thrusting. The partner on top moves higher up, so their weight is supported, and their pelvic bone maintains constant contact with the clitoris. It’s slow. It’s rhythmic. It’s a game-changer for people who find standard thrusting to be "just okay." Another simple tweak? Putting a pillow under the hips. It sounds like a cliché from a 90s rom-com, but it works by tilting the pelvis to a degree that makes G-spot access significantly easier.
The Science of Anatomy and Why "Favorites" Shift
Every body is a different shape. Retroverted uteri (tilted uteri) affect about 20% to 30% of women. If you have a tilted uterus, certain positions like deep Doggy style can actually be quite uncomfortable.
Then there’s the "Internalized Orgasm" myth.
For decades, Freud and his peers tried to claim that "vaginal orgasms" were the only "mature" way to climax. Science has since debunked that nonsense. The clitoris is an iceberg. Most of it is internal, wrapping around the vaginal opening. Therefore, the "favorite" position is usually just whichever one happens to stimulate those internal "legs" of the clitoris most effectively.
The Spooning Factor
Don't sleep on side-lying positions. Spooning is great because it’s low-effort but high-intimacy. It allows for a lot of skin-to-skin contact. For women who are tired or just want to feel "held," this often ranks higher than the more gymnastic options. It’s also a position that allows for long, slow sessions without anyone getting a leg cramp or falling off the bed.
Breaking Down the Misconceptions
People think "favorite" means "the one that gets you there the fastest."
Not necessarily.
Sometimes a favorite is about the emotional connection or the visual aspect. Some women love the power dynamic of being underneath a partner; others hate it. Some love the "view" in Doggy style; others feel self-conscious. The psychological "turn-on" is just as important as the physical friction. If you're worried about how your stomach looks from a certain angle, you aren't in your body. You're in your head. And you can't orgasm from inside your head.
Actionable Steps for Better Sex
If you're trying to figure out what actually works for you or your partner, stop trying to copy what you see in movies. Real-life sex doesn't have a camera crew.
- Prioritize clitoral access. In any position, if there isn't a way for a hand or a toy to reach the clitoris, it’s likely not going to be the "favorite" for long.
- The Pillow Trick. Keep a firm pillow nearby. Use it to prop up hips or knees. Small changes in angles (even just 10 or 15 degrees) can completely change the sensation.
- Communication isn't a mood killer. Saying "a little to the left" or "stay right there" is better than suffering through five minutes of "meh" sex.
- Focus on the "Slow Build." The best position in the world won't work if the "arousal gap" hasn't been closed. Women generally take longer to reach peak arousal than men. Use the first 15-20 minutes for everything except the main event.
Ultimately, the search for the women's favorite sexual position ends with the realization that the best one is the one where she feels safe, heard, and physically stimulated in a way that respects her specific anatomy. It’s less about the label of the position and more about the micro-adjustments made within it. Experimentation is the only way to find the "Goldilocks" zone—the spot that's just right.