Ever notice how the minute you start doing something just to get a specific reward, the whole thing kinda falls apart? It’s a weird paradox. You join a local hiking group because you heard it’s great for "networking," but you end up sitting in the back of the pack, checking your watch, and meeting absolutely no one. Meanwhile, the person who showed up just because they actually like dirt and trees walks away with three new job leads and a best friend. This isn't just bad luck. It’s a fundamental quirk of human psychology and social dynamics. Honestly, you’re not supposed to do it for the benefits because the moment the "benefit" becomes the primary driver, you lose the very authenticity required to actually trigger those rewards.
We live in a world obsessed with "optimization." Everyone wants a "hack." We’re told to volunteer because it looks good on a resume, or to meditate because it increases productivity at work. But there’s a massive body of research suggesting that extrinsic motivators—the "carrots" we dangle in front of ourselves—actually kill the internal spark that makes us good at those things in the first place.
The Overjustification Effect is Real
Psychologists call this the Overjustification Effect. It’s been studied since the 1970s, notably by researchers like Edward Deci and Richard Ryan. They found that when you offer someone an external reward for something they already enjoy doing, their intrinsic interest in the task drops off a cliff.
Imagine a kid who loves drawing. They do it for hours. Then, a teacher starts giving them a "Gold Star" every time they finish a sketch. Suddenly, the kid isn't drawing for the joy of the pen hitting the paper. They’re drawing for the star. If the stars stop, the drawing stops. They’ve been "overjustified." Their brain has rewired the activity from "fun" to "work."
This happens to adults too.
If you start a hobby strictly because you think it’ll make you more "marketable," you’ve basically turned your free time into an unpaid internship. You’ll burn out. You won't have that infectious enthusiasm that actually attracts people to you. People can smell an ulterior motive from a mile away. It’s like dating someone who clearly only likes you because you have a nice car; the "benefit" is there, but the connection is hollow.
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Adam Grant, a professor at Wharton, wrote a whole book called Give and Take about this. He talks about "Givers," "Takers," and "Matchers." The most successful people, long-term, are the Givers. But here’s the catch: they aren't giving because they’ve calculated a 15% return on investment for their kindness.
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They give because they actually want to help.
When you approach a community or a professional circle with the mindset of "what can I get out of this?" you’re a Taker. Even if you’re polite, your energy is extractive. You’re not supposed to do it for the benefits because the benefits are a byproduct of value creation. If you focus on the byproduct, you neglect the production.
Take "networking." Most people hate it. Why? Because most people do it wrong. They go to events to "get" contacts. But the most effective "networkers" are usually people who are just intensely curious about others. They ask questions. They offer help without a price tag. Because they aren't hunting for a specific benefit, they build genuine trust. Trust is the only currency that actually matters in business, and you can't fake it with a "benefit-first" mindset.
The Health Trap: Why "Working Out to Look Good" Often Fails
Let’s talk about the gym. Everyone goes for the "benefits"—weight loss, muscle gain, lower blood pressure. But the people who actually stick with it for twenty years? They usually found a way to enjoy the movement itself.
If your only motivation is a number on a scale, every day that the number doesn't move is a failure. It’s exhausting. You’re essentially punishing yourself in exchange for a future reward that might not even show up.
Contrast that with someone who learns to love the feeling of being strong or the mental clarity that comes with a long run. The "benefits" (the six-pack or the heart health) happen as a side effect. They’re a bonus. If you’re doing it for the "perks," you’re constantly auditing your progress, which leads to frustration. If you do it for the act, the perks eventually take care of themselves.
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The "Doing Good" Dilemma
There’s a philosophical debate about whether "pure" altruism even exists. Some say everything we do is selfish because helping others makes us feel good. Fine. But there is a massive difference between "I helped that person because I felt empathy" and "I helped that person so I could post it on LinkedIn and get 400 likes."
The second version is performative. It’s fragile.
When you do things for the "virtue signaling" benefits, you’re tethered to the opinions of others. You become a slave to the feedback loop. If the "benefit" (the praise) disappears, so does your moral compass. Living that way is like building a house on sand. You want to be the person who does the right thing when no one is looking, not because you’re a saint, but because it’s simpler. It’s less cognitive load. You don't have to keep track of your "brand" if you’re just actually being a person.
The Paradox of Creativity
Ask any writer or musician. The second you start writing "for the algorithm" or "to go viral," the work gets worse. It loses its soul. You start chasing trends that are already dying.
True "benefits" in the creative world—fame, money, critical acclaim—usually come to the people who were obsessed with a specific, weird idea that everyone else ignored. They weren't doing it for the "benefits" of a top-ten hit; they were doing it because they had to get the sound out of their head.
By the time the "benefit" arrives, it’s often a surprise.
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Real-World Examples of the "Benefit-First" Failure
- The Corporate "Volunteer" Day: We’ve all seen it. A group of miserable employees in matching t-shirts painting a fence they don't care about for a photo op. Does it help the charity? Maybe a little. Does it build team morale? Usually not, because everyone knows it’s a mandated PR exercise.
- The "Strategic" Friendship: You meet someone "important" and try to befriend them for their connections. It almost always feels slimy. They know you want something. The friendship never actually forms, so the "benefits" never materialize.
- The "Biohacker" Overkill: Someone who takes 50 supplements and tracks every second of sleep just to "live longer." They’re so stressed about the "benefit" of longevity that they forget to actually live a life worth extending.
How to Shift Your Mindset
So, if you’re not supposed to do it for the benefits, how are you supposed to get anything done? It’s not about ignoring rewards; it’s about shifting them to the background.
Think of benefits like the horizon. If you stare at the horizon while you’re walking, you’re going to trip over the rock right in front of you. If you look at your feet and the path, you’ll eventually reach the horizon anyway.
- Audit your "Whys": Look at your current projects. If the "benefit" disappeared tomorrow, would you still do it? If the answer is a hard "no," you’re at high risk for burnout.
- Seek Flow, Not Just Results: Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s research on "Flow" shows that peak human experience happens when we are fully immersed in an activity for its own sake. Find the parts of your job or your life where time disappears. Double down on those.
- Practice Anonymous Contribution: Do something helpful and tell absolutely no one. Don't put it in your annual review. Don't tell your spouse. Just do it. It recalibrates your brain to value the action over the applause.
- Stop "Optimizing" Your Friends: Stop looking at people as "contacts" or "leads." Treat every interaction as an end in itself.
Actionable Next Steps
Start small. Tomorrow, pick one thing you normally do for a "result" and try to find one thing about the process that is inherently satisfying. If you’re writing a report for work, stop thinking about the "Good job" from your boss and focus on the satisfaction of a perfectly turned sentence or a clean data visualization.
If you’re going to the gym, leave the fitness tracker at home for one session. Just feel your muscles work.
The "benefits" of life—the money, the health, the relationships—are almost always the shadows cast by our real passions. You can't chase a shadow. You have to stand in the light of the actual activity. When you stop obsessing over what you're getting, you finally have the space to become the kind of person who deserves those benefits in the first place. It’s a subtle shift, but it’s the difference between a life of "calculating" and a life of actually living.
Focus on the craft. Focus on the person in front of you. Focus on the effort. The rest of it? It’ll show up when it’s ready. And if it doesn't, you won't even mind, because you were having a good time anyway.