It’s the ultimate parental competition, even if we pretend it isn't. You spend hours leaning over a crib, smelling like spit-up and caffeine, repeating "mama" until your jaw aches. Then, one Tuesday morning, your little one looks you dead in the eye and lets out a clear, joyful "Dada." It feels like a betrayal. Honestly, it’s kinda heartbreaking for the primary caregiver who does the heavy lifting. But here is the thing: the odds were always stacked against you. Statistics and linguistic patterns suggest that your baby's first word will be dada more often than not, and it has almost nothing to do with who they love more.
Babies are tiny scientists. They aren't trying to hurt your feelings; they’re just testing out their equipment. Their vocal cords, tongue, and lips are learning a complex dance.
The mechanics of the "D" sound
Why "dada"? Language development experts, including the late developmental psychologist Anne Fernald from Stanford, have pointed out that the "d" sound is just physically easier for a baby to produce than the "m" sound. To say "mama," a baby has to press their lips together and send air through their nose. It requires a certain level of muscular control over the soft palate.
"Dada" is different.
It’s a plosive. To make it, the tongue just needs to tap the roof of the mouth behind the teeth. It’s a forceful release of air. It’s explosive! It’s exciting! For a six-month-old, making a "da" sound is the linguistic equivalent of discovering they can bang a spoon on a high chair. It produces an immediate, tactile result.
Most researchers, like those involved in the classic Belsky studies on infant attachment, note that "d" and "b" sounds often precede "m" sounds in the babbling phase. This stage, usually hitting its stride between six and eight months, is called canonical babbling. It’s rhythmic. It’s repetitive. It’s "da-da-da-da" because the tongue is just bouncing off the hard palate like a pogo stick.
Your reaction is the real "keyword"
Let’s be real. When a baby says "mamamama," we often interpret it as a whine. It's the sound they make when they are hungry, tired, or need a diaper change. We respond by working. We pick them up, we feed them, we fix the problem.
But when they say "dada"?
The room explodes. Parents cheer. Phones come out to record. There are gasps of "Did you hear that?!" This creates a massive feedback loop. Infants are incredibly sensitive to social cues and "serve and return" interactions, a concept heavily championed by the Harvard Center on the Developing Child. When a baby realizes that making the "da" sound leads to a party in the living room, they are going to do it again. And again. And again.
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Perception vs. Reality
A fascinating study published in Psychological Science looked at how parents perceive these first words. It turns out, dads are significantly more likely to claim "dada" was the first word, while moms are more likely to be skeptical, viewing it as "just babbling."
The truth? It’s probably both.
If a baby says "dada" while looking at a dog, a lamp, or a piece of broccoli, is it a word? Technically, no. A "first word" requires intentionality. It has to be a specific sound used consistently to refer to a specific person or object. But because we are so desperate for that first milestone, we "assign" meaning to the "da" sound long before the baby actually knows they are calling for their father. We want your baby's first word will be dada to be true because it marks a transition from a crying potato to a communicating human.
The "Mama" disadvantage
It sounds unfair, right? The person who carried the child for nine months and dealt with the 3:00 AM wake-up calls gets the silver medal.
There’s a linguistic theory suggested by some researchers that babies might not say "mama" first because they don't see "Mama" as a separate entity. In the early months, the infant and the primary caregiver (often the mother) are, in the baby's mind, a single unit. This is sometimes linked to the "symbiotic phase" described in older psychoanalytic theory, though modern neuroscience looks at it more through the lens of constant proximity.
If you are always there, why would they need a name for you? You are the environment. You are the air they breathe.
"Dada," on the other hand, is someone who comes and goes. He’s a distinct object that enters their field of vision and leaves it. This makes him a perfect candidate for labeling. It’s easier to label something that is "other" than it is to label something that feels like an extension of yourself.
Cultural variations and "Papa"
Interestingly, this isn't just an English-language phenomenon.
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Across hundreds of languages, the words for mother and father are remarkably similar. Look at "Papa" and "Mama" in French, "Baba" and "Mama" in Mandarin, or "Tata" and "Mama" in various Slavic languages. The labial "m" and the dental/alveolar "d," "t," or "b" are universal starter sounds for humanity.
- In Mandarin, "ba-ba" is the standard.
- In many African dialects, "baba" is the go-to.
- In Italian, "papà" dominates the early landscape.
George Murdock’s 1959 study of kinship terms across 470 societies found that the "ma" sound for mother is almost universal, likely because it mimics the shape of the mouth while nursing. But because the "d/p/b" sounds are so much more "active" and easy to spit out, they frequently win the race to be the first "official" word.
When should you actually worry?
Parents spend way too much time on Google. You’re probably wondering if your kid is "behind" if they aren't saying "dada" or "mama" by a certain month.
Chill.
Most babies say their first intentional word between 10 and 14 months. However, the "babbling" version of these words starts much earlier. If your child is reaching 12 months and isn't making any consonant sounds (no "d," "p," "b," or "m"), that is usually the time to mention it to your pediatrician.
But if they are just saying "dada" and ignoring "mama"? That’s not a developmental delay. That’s just physics and a little bit of social engineering.
Moving toward the second word
Once the "dada" dam breaks, the rest usually follow in a flood. You'll notice that the next words are often "no," "ball," or names of pets. Notice a pattern? They are all words with hard, percussive consonants.
If you want to encourage more words, stop stressing about the specific labels. Talk to your baby like they’re a roommate. Use "parentese"—that high-pitched, sing-songy voice—because the exaggerated vowels help their brains map out the sounds.
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Research from the University of Washington shows that babies who engage in more back-and-forth "conversation" (even if the baby is just saying "da-da-da") have significantly larger vocabularies by age two.
So, let them say "dada." Celebrate it. Record it. Post it on Instagram.
How to handle the "Dada" phase
Don't take it personally. Seriously. If you’re the one feeling left out, try these specific tactics to balance the scales.
- Point to yourself in the mirror. Mirrors are magic for babies. Point at your reflection and say "Mama" (or your preferred name) clearly.
- Narrate your life. "Mama is opening the fridge. Mama is getting the milk." It feels ridiculous, but it works.
- Use visual cues. Pair the word "Mama" with a specific action or a favorite toy.
- Celebrate the "M" sounds. When they finally do make a "mmm" sound, give it the same "Dada" energy. Go wild.
The reality is that your baby's first word will be dada quite frequently due to simple anatomy. The "d" sound is a physical milestone. It's the sound of a tongue learning to move independently. It’s a victory for their motor skills, even if it feels like a loss for your ego.
By the time they are two, they will be saying "Mama" fifty times a day—usually when they’ve spilled juice or can't find their shoes. You might actually find yourself looking back fondly on the days when all they could say was "dada."
The journey from babbling to full sentences is short. Don't miss the fun of the "dada" stage by worrying about the "mama" stage. It’s coming, and it’s going to be loud.
Actionable steps for parents
- Track the "intentionality." Keep a note on your phone. Did they say "dada" to the wall, or did they look at a person? Only the latter counts as a "word" in the scientific sense.
- Encourage "serve and return." When they say "da," say "da" back. Then say "dada." Wait for them to respond. This teaches the rhythm of human conversation.
- Read books with repetitive sounds. Look for "P.D. Eastman" or "Sandra Boynton" books that emphasize those easy-to-mimic consonants.
- Check their hearing. If you’re genuinely concerned about a lack of babbling, ensure they aren't dealing with fluid in the ears, which is common and can muffle the sounds they are trying to imitate.
The linguistic path of an infant is rarely a straight line. It’s a messy, loud, and repetitive process. Whether the first word is dada, dog, or no, it’s the start of a lifelong conversation. Enjoy the noise.