Let's be real. If you’ve watched Netflix’s You from the beginning, you know the vibe. It started as this gritty, hyper-fixated stalker thriller where Joe Goldberg’s internal monologue was basically a play-by-play of his own delusions. For the first few seasons, the You TV show sex scenes were everywhere. They were messy. They were frequent. They were often used to show just how deep Joe’s obsession went with women like Beck or Love Quinn.
But then Season 4 hit London, and things got... quiet. Suddenly, the show that built its brand on a mix of murder and intimacy decided to pivot.
It wasn't just a random creative choice by the writers. It was actually a direct request from Penn Badgley himself. If you’re a fan who felt the shift in tone, you weren't imagining it. The show evolved because the person playing the protagonist reached a breaking point with the "lust" element of the character.
The Evolution of Intimacy in Joe Goldberg's World
In the early days of the show, especially back when it was on Lifetime before Netflix picked it up, the physical scenes served a specific purpose. They anchored the show in the "erotic thriller" genre. You had Joe watching from the shadows, and then you had the actual payoff of his manipulations.
Think back to Season 1. The scenes between Joe and Guinevere Beck were designed to feel heavy and grounded. It was about Joe trying to prove he was the "perfect" boyfriend. By Season 2 and 3, with Love Quinn (played by Victoria Pedretti), the You TV show sex scenes became even more volatile. Love was Joe’s match in every way, including her impulses. The intimacy there was used to highlight their shared toxicity. It wasn't just about heat; it was about two broken people trying to out-maneuver each other while pretending to be a normal suburban couple.
Then came the pivot.
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When Season 4 moved the action to London and turned Joe into "Jonathan Moore," the frequency of these scenes plummeted. Penn Badgley went on his podcast, Podcrushed, and explained that he had asked showrunner Sera Gamble to significantly dial back the intimacy. His reasoning was pretty human: he wanted to stay faithful to his real-life marriage and was tired of being pigeonholed as a "romantic" lead when his character is literally a serial killer.
Why the Fans Noticed the Shift
Audiences are smart. They notice when a show's DNA changes. For some, the reduction in You TV show sex scenes made the show feel more like a classic whodunit. It shifted the focus toward the "Eat the Rich" mystery.
However, a vocal part of the fandom felt the show lost a bit of its edge. You has always walked a razor-thin line between satire and soap opera. When you remove the physical component, you're left with Joe's internal monologue, which—while brilliant—can become repetitive if there's no external "action" to break it up.
The Role of Intimacy Coordinators
It is worth noting that You was one of many major productions to lean heavily on intimacy coordinators. These are the professionals who choreograph these moments to ensure everyone feels safe.
- They use barriers (like "modesty garments" or cushions).
- They treat the scene like a stunt or a dance.
- They focus on consent and specific movements rather than "improvising" passion.
Even with these pros on set, Badgley felt that he had done enough of that kind of work. He mentioned that his fidelity in his personal life is more important to him than a fictional scene. Netflix and Sera Gamble reportedly took this in stride. They respected his boundaries. This is actually a huge deal in Hollywood, where actors often feel they have no choice but to say "yes" to whatever is in the script.
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The Problem with "Hot Serial Killers"
There is a psychological phenomenon at play here too. For years, the internet has had a weird, complicated crush on Joe Goldberg. This is something Penn Badgley has actively fought against on social media.
By including frequent You TV show sex scenes, the show was arguably feeding into that "hot stalker" trope. By stripping them away, the show forced the audience to look at Joe for what he actually is: a lonely, fragmented, and dangerous man. Season 4 became less about who Joe was sleeping with and more about how Joe was hallucinating. It stripped away the romantic veneer.
Honestly, it’s a ballsy move. Most shows get more explicit as they go on to keep people talking. You did the opposite.
Does it make the show better?
That's debatable.
From a character perspective, it makes sense that Joe is getting older and more tired. He’s "trying to be good," even if he's failing miserably. From an entertainment perspective, some fans felt the London season was a bit "dry." But the data shows that the viewership didn't really drop. People are there for the internal monologue. They’re there to see who Joe kills next, not necessarily who he’s getting intimate with.
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What to Expect in the Final Season
With Season 5 being the series finale, the question of how the You TV show sex scenes will be handled is back on the table. Joe is back in New York. He’s more powerful than ever because he has Kate’s resources and a massive PR team cleaning up his past.
If Season 4 was about restraint, Season 5 will likely be about the "real" Joe. Now that he’s accepted his dark side, the show might not need those scenes to sell his character anymore. He isn't trying to seduce his way into a girl's life anymore; he’s just taking what he wants.
Actionable Takeaways for the Viewer
If you’re watching or re-watching the series, keep these things in mind to better understand the creative shifts:
- Watch the Power Dynamic: Notice how in Seasons 1-3, intimacy is used as a tool for Joe to gain trust. In Season 4, his lack of intimacy with Kate actually mirrors his lack of control over his own mind.
- Listen to the Monologue: The most "intimate" moments in the show aren't the physical ones; they’re the moments where Joe is most honest with himself in his narration.
- Respect the Craft: Understanding that an actor set a boundary for their personal life adds a layer of reality to the production. It changes how you view the "chemistry" on screen when you know it's strictly professional and highly choreographed.
- Analyze the Genre Shift: The show transitioned from an erotic thriller to a psychological deconstruction. This explains why the physical content changed.
The legacy of the You TV show sex scenes isn't just about the "steaminess" factors. It’s a case study in how a show adapts to its lead actor's growth and how a series can pivot its entire tone without losing its core audience. Joe Goldberg might be a monster, but the way his story is told is a fascinating look at the boundaries of modern television production.