Honestly, it’s easy to be a cynic these days. Between the rising cost of eggs and the endless notifications on your phone, the idea that a season can be "magical" feels like something we outgrew alongside footie pajamas. But here's the thing: when we talk about how to believe in the magic of christmas, we aren’t actually talking about flying reindeer or a guy in a red suit squeezing through a chimney. We're talking about a psychological state of wonder that we desperately need to survive the winter.
It's a biological necessity, really.
I remember talking to a friend who felt totally burnt out by the "obligation" of the holidays. She hated the traffic. She hated the pressure to buy the perfect gift. But then she saw a row of tacky, oversized plastic reindeer in a neighbor's yard and, for a split second, she felt that weird, fluttery spark. That’s the magic. It’s not about the stuff; it’s about the suspension of disbelief.
The Science of Holiday Awe
Scientists actually study this. Researchers like Dr. Dacher Keltner at UC Berkeley have spent years looking at "awe"—that feeling you get when you encounter something vast or unexpected that challenges your understanding of the world. Christmas is basically a massive, global experiment in creating awe. When you believe in the magic of christmas, your brain is actually engaging in a complex social ritual that lowers stress and increases feelings of connection.
It's weirdly effective.
Think about the lights. There is a reason humans have been lighting candles and stringing LEDs during the darkest month of the year for centuries. It’s a middle finger to the cold. It’s us saying, "We refuse to be miserable just because it's 4:00 PM and pitch black outside."
Why Nostalgia Isn't a Trap
Some people think nostalgia is just a way of living in the past. They’re wrong. Psychology tells us that nostalgic memories act as a "buffer" against loneliness and anxiety. When you smell pine needles or hear a specific Bing Crosby song, your brain isn't just remembering; it's re-experiencing. This creates a sense of continuity in your life. You aren't just a stressed-out adult; you’re the same person who once stayed awake until 3:00 AM hoping to hear bells on the roof.
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Connecting those versions of yourself is incredibly grounding.
Where the Magic Actually Goes to Die
The biggest mistake we make? Trying to curate the magic for Instagram.
You’ve seen the photos. The perfectly symmetrical trees. The families in matching pajamas looking like they’ve never had a single argument in their lives. That’s not magic; that’s a marketing campaign. Real Christmas magic is usually messy. It’s the burnt cookies that everyone laughs about for ten years. It’s the "bad" gift that becomes an inside joke.
If you want to believe in the magic of christmas again, you have to stop trying to control the outcome. Magic is unpredictable by definition.
The "Smallness" Factor
In 2015, a study published in the journal Cognition looked at how children distinguish between reality and fantasy. They found that kids aren't actually as "gullible" as we think. They choose to believe because it makes the world more interesting. As adults, we can do the same. We can choose to lean into the mystery.
We can look at a snowy street and choose to see a "winter wonderland" instead of a "commute nightmare." It's a choice. A hard one, sometimes, but a choice nonetheless.
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Practical Ways to Reconnect
If you're feeling like a total Grinch, don't try to force it. That never works. Instead, try these very specific, very low-pressure shifts in your routine:
- Go Outside at Night. Walk through a neighborhood with heavy decorations. Don't look at your phone. Just look at the lights. There’s something primal about it.
- Create a Low-Stakes Tradition. My family started "Nacho Christmas" because nobody wanted to cook a big turkey. It’s stupid, but we look forward to it more than the actual presents.
- Give Anonymously. The "magic" often comes from the act of being a "secret" force of good. It taps into that Santa archetype. When you do something nice and nobody knows it was you, you’re the one holding the wand.
- Watch a Movie You've Seen 50 Times. Don't try to find something new. Go for the comfort. Muppet Christmas Carol is a masterpiece—fight me on it.
The Role of Community and Shared Delusion
There is a concept in sociology called "collective effervescence." It’s that feeling of being part of something bigger than yourself during a shared event. When a whole city shuts down or decorates, we are participating in a shared narrative.
That’s why people get so upset when things change. We want the ritual.
I once spent Christmas in a tropical climate where it was 90 degrees and sunny. It was beautiful, but it felt "wrong." Why? Because the narrative I grew up with required the cold. It required the contrast between the freezing wind and the warm hearth. To believe in the magic of christmas, you often need that contrast. You need the struggle to make the comfort feel earned.
It’s Okay to Be Sad, Too
The "magic" isn't just about being happy. For many, Christmas is a time of profound longing. We miss people who aren't there anymore. But even that grief is part of the magic—it’s a testament to the love we had. Acknowledging that empty chair at the table is its own kind of sacred ritual.
How to Keep the Feeling After December 26th
The biggest tragedy of the holiday season is how fast it evaporates. On December 26th, the tree looks like a fire hazard and the leftovers are getting weird. But you can carry the "magic" mindset into January.
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It’s really just about intentionality.
Stop looking for the "big" moments. The magic is in the 5-minute coffee with a neighbor. It's in the way the light hits the frost on your windshield. It’s in the quiet.
If you want to truly believe in the magic of christmas, you have to accept that it’s a fragile thing. It’s not a powerhouse of joy that’s going to bowl you over. It’s a small, quiet hum in the background of a very loud world.
Listen for the hum.
Next Steps for Your Holiday Season:
Audit your traditions. Sit down for five minutes and identify which holiday tasks actually make you feel good and which ones just make you tired.
Commit to one "analog" night. Turn off the Wi-Fi, light some candles, and just exist in the space. No scrolling, no streaming.
Find your "awe" trigger. Whether it’s choral music, a specific scent, or driving through a snowy park, lean into it. Don't worry about being "cheesy." The world is heavy enough; you’re allowed to enjoy the light.