Food. Sex. That’s it. That’s the whole human experience, or at least that’s what the ancient Chinese philosopher Mencius (Mengzi) was getting at when he famously noted that the basic human instincts—the things we can’t escape—are yin shi nan nu. Literally, "drink, food, male, female." It sounds almost too simple. Crude, maybe. But those four characters carry the weight of thousands of years of cultural baggage, especially after Ang Lee took that phrase and turned it into the 1994 cinematic masterpiece Eat Drink Man Woman.
If you’ve ever sat at a family dinner where nobody is talking but everyone is judging the way the fish was steamed, you’ve lived this.
The phrase isn't just about hunger or libido. It’s about the tension between our most primal, animalistic needs and the rigid, often suffocating structures of "civilized" society. We like to think we’re sophisticated. We have smartphones, we debate politics, and we worry about our 401(k)s. But at the end of the day? We’re driven by the plate in front of us and the person sitting across from it.
The Mencius Connection: Where it Actually Started
Most people think yin shi nan nu started with a movie. It didn’t. We have to go back way further—roughly 2,300 years. In the Gaozi I section of the Mencius, the philosopher is actually debating a guy named Gaozi about human nature. Gaozi argues that "appetite for food and sex is nature" (shi se xing ye). While the phrasing evolved into the four-character idiom we use today, the core remains: these are the things that make us human.
They are unavoidable.
Mencius wasn’t necessarily celebrating hedonism. He was acknowledging a baseline. You can’t talk about virtue or "The Way" if people are starving or lonely. It’s the original Maslow’s Hierarchy, just written on bamboo scrolls instead of a textbook.
Ang Lee’s Masterclass in Silent Communication
Honestly, if you haven't seen the film Eat Drink Man Woman (the literal translation of the phrase), you're missing out on the best "food porn" ever filmed. But it’s not just about the food. The opening sequence—where the protagonist, Chef Chu, prepares a massive Sunday feast—is legendary. He’s gutting fish, blow-torching ducks, and slicing ginger with the precision of a surgeon.
He’s a master chef, but he’s losing his sense of taste.
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That’s the metaphor right there.
When yin shi nan nu is out of balance—when the "food" part is mechanical and the "desire" part is repressed—life loses its flavor. The movie follows Chu and his three daughters, each struggling with their own version of these primal needs. They meet every Sunday for a ritualistic dinner that everyone secretly hates because they can’t actually say what they’re feeling. They use the food to communicate because words are too dangerous.
Chu shows his love through a complex steamed soup. His daughters reject his love by leaving the table. It’s a brutal, beautiful cycle of generational trauma served over shark fin and dumplings.
The Conflict of Confucian Values
Why is this phrase so powerful in East Asian culture? Because Confucianism is all about li (ritual and propriety). You’re supposed to be controlled. You’re supposed to be filial. You’re supposed to put the collective before the self.
But yin shi nan nu is the "self" screaming to be heard.
It’s the "id" in Freudian terms. In the 1990s, when Ang Lee released the film, Taiwan (and much of the world) was grappling with this exact shift. Traditional family structures were cracking under the weight of Western-style individualism. People wanted to choose their own partners (the nan nu part) and satisfy their own tastes (the yin shi part) instead of just following what their fathers told them.
It's kinda funny how a 2,000-year-old quote became the anthem for 1990s modernism.
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Why "Eat Drink Man Woman" is a Universal Language
You don't have to be Chinese to get it. Whether it’s a big Italian Sunday gravy or a Southern barbecue, the table is where the drama happens. The specific dishes change, but the "yin shi" remains constant.
Think about the way we use dating apps today. We call it "thirst." We talk about "snacks." We’ve literalized the connection between consumption and attraction. We are still operating on the exact same hardware that Mencius described. We’ve just updated the software.
There’s a specific kind of melancholy in the realization that no matter how much we achieve, we are still bound by these appetites. You can be the most powerful CEO in the world, but if you’re hungry, you’re cranky. If you’re lonely, you’re hollow.
Debunking the "Sinful" Misconception
Western audiences often misinterpret the phrase as something dirty or hedonistic. It’s not. In the original context, it’s actually quite neutral. It’s almost clinical. It’s saying, "Look, this is what the creature requires."
The struggle isn’t in the act of eating or loving; the struggle is in the balance.
When Chef Chu in the movie finally regains his sense of taste, it’s not because he found a better recipe. It’s because he finally addressed the "nan nu" side of his life—his emotional and romantic needs. He stopped being just a "food-making machine" and became a man again.
Modern Interpretations: From Film to Lifestyle
Today, you see the influence of this philosophy in everything from "Slow Food" movements to the way we discuss mental health and "self-care." We’ve realized that ignoring our basic appetites leads to burnout.
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In modern Taipei, or even New York, the spirit of yin shi nan nu lives on in the "night market" culture. It’s a place where the social hierarchy disappears and everyone is just a body looking for something delicious. It’s the ultimate equalizer.
- Food as Language: Sometimes, the best way to fix a relationship isn't a long talk—it's cooking a meal that actually means something.
- Acknowledge the Primal: Stop feeling guilty for having basic needs. We spend so much time trying to be "productive" that we forget to be "alive."
- Watch the Film: Seriously. Watch the 1994 original. Skip the 2001 American remake (Tortilla Soup). While the remake is fine, it loses that specific tension between ancient Confucianism and modern desire.
Applying the "Yin Shi" Philosophy to Your Life
If you’re feeling stuck, look at your "table." Are you eating just to survive, or are you tasting the food? Are you in a relationship because of "ritual," or is there genuine desire?
The lesson of yin shi nan nu is that these two things—sustenance and passion—are the twin pillars of a functional life. If one collapses, the other usually follows. You can’t have a healthy heart on an empty stomach, and you can’t enjoy a feast if your heart is broken.
Practical Steps for Finding Your Balance
Don't just treat your meals as "fueling stops." If you're constantly eating at your desk while checking emails, you're failing the first half of the equation. You're "drinking and eating," but you aren't experiencing it.
- The 20-Minute Rule: Sit down. No phone. Just the food. Notice the texture. It sounds like mindfulness fluff, but it’s actually about reclaiming your humanity from the grind.
- Audit Your "Appetites": Are you pursuing things you actually want, or things you were told to want? Often, our "desires" (the nan nu side) are just projections of what society expects of us.
- The Ritual of Sharing: The most important part of the Sunday dinners in the film wasn't the food—it was the fact that they showed up. Even when they were fighting, they sat together. Re-establish a "non-negotiable" mealtime with the people who matter.
At the end of the day, we’re all just trying to satisfy those four simple characters. We’re all just looking for a good meal and someone to share it with. It’s not complicated, but it is the hardest thing in the world to get right.
Stop overthinking your "purpose" and start paying attention to your plate. The rest usually follows. Everything else—the career, the status, the drama—is just garnish. The core is, and always will be, the food and the people. That’s the real secret to a life well-lived, whether you’re a philosopher in ancient China or someone scrolling through an article in the middle of a busy workday. Drink, eat, man, woman.
Get those right, and you’re halfway there.