Ever feel like you’re just hitting a brick wall? You’ve been trying to learn that new software, or maybe you're trying to get your 5k time down, or you're just trying to figure out how to be a better parent, and it’s just not clicking. It’s frustrating. It feels permanent. Most people reach for big, sweeping phrases like "you can do anything" or "just believe in yourself," but honestly, those usually feel like a load of corporate posters from 1994. They don't help when you’re staring at a spreadsheet that makes no sense.
There is one word for encouragement that actually works because it doesn't lie to you. It’s "yet."
It’s tiny. It’s three letters. But it changes the entire chemistry of a sentence. When you say, "I don’t know how to do this," you’re stating a dead-end fact. When you say, "I don’t know how to do this yet," you’ve suddenly turned a wall into a door. You aren't pretending you're a genius. You're just acknowledging that time and effort are still in play.
The Growth Mindset and the Power of Three Letters
Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck basically staked her entire career on this concept. If you haven't read her work on Mindset, the gist is pretty simple but life-altering. She found that people generally fall into two camps: the fixed mindset and the growth mindset.
The fixed crowd thinks they’re born with a certain amount of "smart" or "talent." If they fail, it’s because they hit their limit. Game over.
The growth crowd—the "yet" crowd—sees failure as data.
Dweck famously studied a high school in Chicago where students had to pass a certain number of courses to graduate. If they didn't pass a course, they didn't get a grade of "F" or "Fail." They got a grade of "Not Yet." Think about that for a second. An "F" says you’re a failure. It’s a stamp. It’s over. "Not Yet" implies you’re on a curve. It suggests that you’re moving toward the goal, you just haven't arrived at the destination.
It’s a massive psychological shift.
When we use "yet" as our primary word for encouragement, we stop judging our current state as a final verdict. We start treating our abilities like muscles that can grow rather than concrete blocks that are already set.
Why Brain Plasticity Makes "Yet" Factual, Not Just Feel-Good
This isn't just some "positive vibes" nonsense. It’s literally how your brain is wired. Neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life.
When you struggle with a task, your brain is actually working harder. Those moments of frustration? That’s where the growth happens. If everything was easy, your neurons wouldn't need to fire in new patterns.
I remember reading about how musicians learn complex pieces. They don't just play the whole song over and over. They find the three bars that are killing them and they play those bars until their fingers hurt. They might say, "I can't play the bridge." But if they're smart, they add that word for encouragement at the end. "I can't play the bridge yet."
It keeps the dopamine system engaged. Dopamine isn't just about reward; it's about the anticipation of reward. If you decide you've failed, the dopamine drops. If you decide you're just "not there yet," your brain stays in the game. It keeps looking for the solution.
The Misconception About "Positive Thinking"
Let’s get one thing straight: "Yet" is not the same as being delusional.
Toxic positivity is when people tell you to smile while your house is on fire. It’s annoying and, frankly, it makes things worse. If you’re broke, saying "I am a millionaire" is a lie, and your brain knows it's a lie. That creates cognitive dissonance.
But saying "I haven't figured out my finances yet" is 100% true.
It acknowledges the struggle. It respects the reality of the situation. You're broke. It sucks. But it’s not a permanent state of being unless you decide it is.
I’ve seen this in business coaching all the time. Founders will say, "We don't have product-market fit." That sounds like a death knell for a startup. It sounds like it's time to fire everyone and go home. If you add "yet," it becomes a mission. It becomes a problem to be solved through iteration, customer interviews, and A/B testing.
How to Use "Yet" Without Sounding Like a Self-Help Book
You don't need to scream it from the rooftops. You don't need to put it in your Instagram bio with a sunset background. Honestly, please don't.
The best way to use this word for encouragement is in your own internal monologue. We all have that voice in our head that is a total jerk. You know the one. It tells you you’re too old to start a new career or too out of shape to go to the gym.
Next time that voice says something definitive, just tack on the word.
- "I'm not a good public speaker... yet."
- "I don't understand how crypto works... yet."
- "I haven't found a partner who respects me... yet."
It feels a bit clunky at first. You might feel silly. But keep doing it. It’s a micro-habit.
Why Timing Matters
If you offer this word to someone else, you have to be careful. If a friend is venting about a tragedy, don't just say "yet" like a jerk. They need empathy first. "Yet" is for the moments of skill-building and personal growth, not for grieving a loss.
Use it when someone is frustrated by their own perceived lack of talent. Use it when a kid is crying over their math homework. It’s a tool for persistence.
Real Examples of the "Yet" Philosophy in Action
Look at someone like J.K. Rowling before Harry Potter took off. She was a single mom on welfare. She wasn't a "successful author" by any metric society cared about. But she was a writer who hadn't been published yet.
Or look at James Dyson. He went through 5,126 failed prototypes of his vacuum cleaner. Five thousand! Most people would have quit at 50. Most would have said, "I can't make this work." Dyson’s entire process was a masterclass in the word "yet." Every failure was just a version that didn't work yet.
It’s about the long game.
The Nuance of Skill vs. Circumstance
We should be honest: "Yet" doesn't fix everything.
If I say, "I haven't grown wings and flown to the moon yet," I'm being an idiot. There are physical and biological limits to what we can do. I am never going to play in the NBA. I'm 5'9" and have the vertical leap of a toaster. No amount of "yet" is going to change my DNA.
But for the vast majority of things we beat ourselves up over—career skills, emotional intelligence, fitness, hobbies—the limits are much further out than we think. We quit because we mistake a temporary plateau for a permanent ceiling.
Actionable Steps for Integrating "Yet" Into Your Life
You don't need a 30-day program. You just need to pay attention.
1. Audit your "I can't" statements.
For the next 24 hours, just listen to yourself. Every time you say "I can't" or "I'm not," write it down. At the end of the day, look at that list. Which of those are actually permanent? (Hint: very few).
2. The Post-it Note Trick.
If you have a specific goal you're struggling with, put a sticky note on your computer or bathroom mirror that just says "YET." It serves as a visual trigger to remind you that your current state is fluid.
3. Change how you praise others.
Instead of telling your kid "You're so smart," tell them "I love how you didn't give up even though you hadn't solved it yet." Praise the process, not the trait. This builds resilience.
4. Lean into the "Cringe."
Learning something new always feels embarrassing. You're going to be bad at it. Acknowledge that you aren't graceful yet. The "yet" gives you permission to be a beginner. It takes the pressure off being perfect right out of the gate.
5. Re-evaluate your "Failures."
Take one thing you "failed" at in the last year. Ask yourself if it was truly a final failure or if you just stopped before the "yet" could kick in. Sometimes we walk away from things right before the breakthrough happens.
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The beauty of this word for encouragement is its simplicity. It’s a bridge. It connects who you are today with who you’re capable of becoming tomorrow. It’s the ultimate antidote to the "fixed" mindset that keeps so many people stuck in lives they don't actually want.
Start adding it to your sentences. See how it feels. It might just be the most honest thing you ever say to yourself.