Everyone thinks they know the words to song it had to be you. You’ve heard it at weddings while the bride’s father tries not to cry, or maybe you caught Harry Connick Jr. crooning it during that iconic New York montage in When Harry Met Sally. It feels like it has always existed, right? Like a universal law of romance. But the actual story behind those lyrics—and the specific way Isham Jones and Gus Kahn put them together in 1924—is way more interesting than just another dusty jazz standard. It’s actually kind of a messy, honest look at why we love people who drive us crazy.
Most love songs from the Roaring Twenties were either sickeningly sweet or tragic. This one? It’s different. It’s about a specific kind of stubbornness.
The Genius Behind the Words to Song It Had to Be You
Gus Kahn wasn't just some guy writing rhymes. He was the powerhouse behind "Dream a Little Dream of Me" and "Makin' Whoopee." When he sat down to write the words to song it had to be you, he wasn't looking for a fairytale. He was looking for a confession.
The song doesn't say "you’re perfect." It says the opposite.
Honestly, the opening lines are a bit of a roast. It talks about wandering around and finally realizing that nobody else would do, but it admits the subject has "faults" and can be "mean" or "bossy." That’s the magic of it. It’s the "I love you anyway" song.
Why the Lyrics Stick in Your Brain
There is a technical reason why these lyrics work so well, and it isn't just sentimentality. Kahn used a technique of simple, monosyllabic words that hit like a heartbeat. It. Had. To. Be. You. If you look at the structure, it follows a standard AABA format, which was the bread and butter of Tin Pan Alley. But Isham Jones’s melody—that sweeping, slightly melancholic jump in the opening—forces the singer to linger on the word "had." It’s an admission of defeat. You aren't choosing this person because they are the logical choice. You're choosing them because you have no other option. Your heart is basically telling your brain to shut up.
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Famous Versions That Changed Everything
While the 1924 original by Isham Jones and his Orchestra was a massive hit, the song has lived a thousand lives. You can't talk about the words to song it had to be you without mentioning Ruth Etting. She was the "Sweetheart of Columbia Records" and gave the song a vulnerability that made it feel like a private diary entry.
Then came the heavy hitters.
- Frank Sinatra: He recorded it multiple times, but his 1960 version with Billy May’s orchestration is the gold standard for many. He sings it with a certain "ring-a-ding-ding" confidence, making the "bossy" parts sound like a playful challenge rather than a complaint.
- Billie Holiday: Nobody did longing better than Lady Day. When she sang these words, you felt the "mean" parts of the partner she was describing. It felt heavy. It felt real.
- Ray Charles: He brought a soul-infused, almost gospel grit to it in 1959.
And then, of course, there is the 1989 revival. When When Harry Met Sally used the song, it re-introduced the words to song it had to be you to a whole new generation. It became the anthem for "friends-to-lovers" everywhere. It perfectly underscored the idea that you can spend years looking for someone, only to realize they’ve been standing right there, annoying you the whole time.
The Lyrics: A Close Reading of the "Mean" Parts
Let’s actually look at the middle eight. People usually hum through this part to get back to the chorus, but this is where the character of the song lives.
"For nobody else gave me a thrill / with all your faults, I love you still."
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That is a bold thing to put in a love song. Most people want to be told they are flawless. Kahn suggests that flaws are actually what make the "thrill" possible. It’s a very modern sentiment for 1924. It acknowledges that compatibility is a myth and that chemistry is often found in the friction between two different personalities.
Later, the lyrics mention being "cross" or "bossy." If you’re singing this to someone today, it’s almost a joke. It’s a way of saying, "Yeah, you’re a handful, but you’re my handful."
Why We Still Sing It in 2026
You might wonder why a song that is over a century old still shows up on Spotify playlists and at karaoke bars. It's because the sentiment hasn't aged. Technology changes, dating apps change, but the feeling of "it had to be you" is constant.
We live in an era of "optimization." We want the best partner, the best job, the best life. But the words to song it had to be you remind us that love isn't about finding the "best" person on paper. It's about that weird, unexplainable click.
Musically, the song is also a "singer's song." It allows for a lot of rubato—that’s when a singer speeds up or slows down for emotional effect. Because the melody is so sturdy, you can stretch it, soul it up, or swing it, and it never breaks.
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Common Misconceptions About the Lyrics
A lot of people mix up the lyrics with other standards from the era. No, it’s not the one about "the way you wear your hat" (that’s "The Way You Look Tonight"). And it’s not the one about "cheek to cheek."
One big mistake people make is thinking the song is purely happy. If you listen to the verses—the parts usually skipped in modern covers—it’s actually about someone who has been searching for a long time and failing. It’s a song of relief. The singer is tired of "wandering around." They are ready to stop looking.
How to Use This Song Today
If you’re planning to use this song for a significant event, like a wedding or an anniversary, pay attention to the arrangement. A slow, piano-heavy version emphasizes the "I love you still" sentiment. A faster, big-band version makes the "mean and bossy" lines feel like a fun inside joke between a couple that likes to bicker.
Actionable Insights for Songwriters and Performers:
- Study the Verse: Don’t just learn the chorus. The verse sets the scene of a lonely traveler finally finding home. It adds layers to the performance.
- Embrace the Flaws: When singing the lines about "faults," don't try to make them sound pretty. Lean into the honesty of the lyric.
- Timing is Everything: The "it had to be" phrase needs a slight delay. It’s a realization. If you rush it, you lose the emotional payoff.
- Check Your Sources: If you're looking for the definitive sheet music, look for the 1924 Isham Jones version to see how the syncopation was originally intended.
The words to song it had to be you aren't just a relic of the jazz age. They are a blueprint for how we talk about the people we can't live without. Whether it's the sweeping strings of a movie score or a scratched-up vinyl record, the message remains: love isn't about finding someone perfect; it's about finding the person who was meant to be yours, faults and all.
To truly appreciate the song, listen to the 1944 version by Dick Haymes and Helen Forrest. It captures that wartime era of longing perfectly. Then, contrast it with the 1979 Diane Keaton version in Manhattan. You’ll see exactly why these words refuse to fade away.