Life hits hard. You’ve probably heard the old Billy Ocean song or the cliché phrase a thousand times since you were a kid: when the tough get going, the "tough" get going. It sounds like a motivational poster in a high school weight room. But honestly? Most people get the actual meaning wrong, or they apply it to situations where it just makes things worse. We’re taught that grit is a magic wand. We’re told that if we just "toughen up," the obstacles will somehow melt away like butter on a hot steak.
It’s not that simple.
Being "tough" in 2026 isn't about being a stoic brick wall. It’s about a very specific type of psychological resilience that researchers like Angela Duckworth have spent years dissecting. When the pressure mounts and the floor feels like it’s falling out from under your feet, the "going" part isn't just about working harder. It’s about strategic movement.
The Science of Gritting Your Teeth
There’s a real biological basis for why some people thrive when the situation gets dire. It’s not just "willpower." That’s a myth. Willpower is a finite resource, kinda like a phone battery that drains faster when you’re running too many apps at once.
Neuroplasticity plays a huge role here. When you face a crisis, your amygdala—the lizard brain part of you—wants to scream "run!" or "freeze!" But the people who actually "get going" have trained their prefrontal cortex to override that panic. It’s a literal rewiring of the brain. Dr. Andrew Huberman often talks about "forward friction"—the idea that leaning into the discomfort actually releases dopamine in a way that rewards the effort, not just the result.
Think about it.
You’re staring at a massive project failure or a personal loss. The "tough" part is acknowledging the pain without letting it paralyze you. It’s about leaning into that friction. If you don't, you're just stuck in the mud, spinning your tires and wondering why you aren't moving.
Why We Misunderstand Resilience
Most of us think resilience is about bouncing back. Like a rubber band. You pull it, it snaps back to its original shape. But humans aren't rubber bands. We’re more like metal. When you bend metal and then try to straighten it, it’s different. It’s been "work-hardened."
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Actually, the term for this is antifragility, a concept popularized by Nassim Nicholas Taleb. Things that are fragile break under stress. Things that are robust stay the same. Things that are antifragile actually get better when the tough get going. You want to be the fire that gets bigger when the wind blows, not the candle that flickers out.
Real World Grit: It’s Not Just for Movies
Look at Ernest Shackleton. In 1914, his ship, the Endurance, got trapped in Antarctic ice. It was a nightmare scenario. Most people would have just laid down and died. But Shackleton didn't just "tough it out." He pivoted. He changed the goal from "crossing the continent" to "getting every single man home alive."
He spent months on the ice. He led his crew across 800 miles of the most treacherous ocean on Earth in a tiny lifeboat. He didn't survive because he was "stronger" in a physical sense. He survived because he knew when to shift gears.
That’s the secret.
When the tough get going, they aren't just running in a straight line. They are adapting. They are looking at the wreckage of their original plan and building a raft out of the scraps.
The Problem With Toxic Productivity
We have to talk about the dark side. Sometimes, "getting going" is actually a trauma response. We’ve all seen that person who buries their grief in 80-hour work weeks. They think they’re being "tough." In reality, they’re just running away from the "tough" feelings.
If you’re using movement as a way to avoid processing reality, you’re going to burn out. Hard.
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True resilience requires a pause. It’s okay to sit in the dirt for a second and say, "This sucks." Honestly, it’s necessary. You can’t solve a problem you refuse to look at. The "going" part should happen after the assessment, not as a replacement for it.
How to Actually "Get Going" When Things Fall Apart
So, how do you do it? How do you actually activate that gear when you’re exhausted?
First, you’ve got to shrink the world. When you’re overwhelmed, the "tough" thing to do is to stop looking at the mountain and start looking at your feet. What is the next 10 minutes? What is the one email you can send?
- De-escalate the nervous system. You can't think clearly if your heart rate is 110 bpm while you're sitting in a chair. Use box breathing—four seconds in, four hold, four out, four hold. It sounds woo-woo, but Navy SEALs use it for a reason. It works.
- Audit your "Why." If you don’t have a reason to keep moving, you won’t. Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who survived the Holocaust, wrote about this in Man’s Search for Meaning. Those who had a "why"—a person to see, a book to finish, a goal to reach—were the ones who survived.
- Kill the ego. Sometimes the reason we’re stuck is because we’re embarrassed that we failed. The "tough" get going by leaving their pride at the door. They ask for help. They admit they were wrong. They start over from scratch if they have to.
The Role of Community
Nobody actually goes it alone. Even the "lone wolf" types usually have a support system they aren't talking about. When the tough get going, they lean on their tribe.
In business, this looks like a CEO being transparent with their team during a downturn. In personal life, it’s calling a friend and saying, "I’m drowning." Vulnerability isn't the opposite of toughness; it’s the foundation of it. You can’t be brave if you aren't scared, and you can’t be tough if you don't have something worth protecting.
What Most People Get Wrong About Timing
There’s this idea that you have to "get going" immediately. Like, the second the bad news hits, you should be in "beast mode."
That’s total nonsense.
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Adrenaline is a short-term fuel. If you burn it all in the first ten minutes of a crisis, you’ll have nothing left for the marathon. Strategic patience is a form of toughness. Sometimes "getting going" means staying still and waiting for the right moment to strike. It’s about timing, not just speed.
Think about a professional athlete. If a quarterback panics the second the pocket collapses, he throws an interception. The "tough" quarterback stays cool, keeps his eyes downfield, and waits for the opening—even while 300-pound linemen are charging at him.
Actionable Steps for Building Your Resilience
If you want to be the person who thrives when things get messy, you need to build the muscle before the weight is on the bar. You don't learn how to swim while you're drowning.
Expose yourself to voluntary discomfort. Take the cold shower. Do the extra set at the gym. Have the awkward conversation you've been avoiding. When you prove to yourself that you can handle small "tough" things, your brain starts to believe you can handle the big ones.
Reframing the narrative. Stop saying "This is happening to me" and start saying "This is happening." Period. Removing the "to me" part takes the victimhood out of the equation. It turns a tragedy into a logistics problem. Logistics problems can be solved. Tragedies just have to be endured.
Focus on the "Pivot Point." Identify the one thing that, if changed, would make everything else easier. Usually, we try to fix 20 things at once. Pick one. Move on it. Then pick the next.
When the tough get going, they don't necessarily feel brave. They usually feel tired, anxious, and uncertain. But they move anyway. That’s the definition. Action in the face of fear. Movement in the face of resistance. It’s not a song lyric; it’s a survival strategy.
Moving Forward
To truly embody this, start by identifying one area where you are currently "stuck" because the situation has become difficult. Instead of waiting for the "feeling" of motivation to hit you, commit to one microscopic action today. If your business is failing, don't try to rewrite the whole plan; just call one former client. If a relationship is struggling, don't try to fix years of issues; just say one kind thing.
Resilience is built in the small, repeated choice to not stay down. It’s the refusal to be a bystander in your own life. When the world gets loud, get quiet, get focused, and get moving.