Why What to Expect When You're Expecting Still Matters (and What It Gets Wrong)

Why What to Expect When You're Expecting Still Matters (and What It Gets Wrong)

It’s been around forever. Since 1984, actually. If you've ever walked into a bookstore or scrolled through a pregnancy forum, you’ve seen that iconic cover. Heidi Murkoff’s What to Expect When You're Expecting isn't just a book anymore; it’s a cultural juggernaut that has sold over 22 million copies. That’s an absurd number of people looking for the same reassurance. But here’s the thing—pregnancy in 2026 doesn't look like it did in the eighties.

Most people buy this book because they’re terrified. Honestly, that’s the truth of it. You see two lines on a stick and suddenly your brain is a whirlwind of "can I eat deli meat?" and "why do my ankles look like sausages?" Murkoff tapped into that specific brand of anxiety. She turned the medical jargon of an OB-GYN visit into something that felt like a conversation with a very knowledgeable, slightly bossy aunt.

But does it still hold up? Or is it just a relic of a time before we had Reddit threads and TikTok doctors?

The "Bible" of Pregnancy: What to Expect When You're Expecting Explained

The book is basically structured month-by-month. It’s a smart way to do it. It prevents you from reading about the horrors of crowning when you’re only six weeks in and just trying to keep down a piece of dry toast. You get a breakdown of how the baby is growing—standard "it’s the size of a kumquat" stuff—and then a list of symptoms you might be feeling.

The genius of What to Expect When You're Expecting is the "What You May Be Concerned About" section. It hits on everything. Hemorrhoids? Check. Mood swings that make you want to throw a toaster? Check. Stretch marks? Oh, absolutely.

It’s comprehensive. Maybe too comprehensive. Some critics, including many modern midwives, argue that the book actually increases anxiety by listing every possible thing that could go wrong. It’s a fine line to walk. You want to be informed, but you don't want to spend your Saturday night googling rare placental abnormalities because of a stray sentence in chapter four.

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The Evolution of the Advice

Murkoff hasn't just let the book sit there gathering dust. It’s in its fifth edition now. They’ve scrubbed out some of the more... let's say, judgmental tone regarding weight gain from the earlier years. The original version was pretty hardcore about the "Best-Odds Diet." It made a lot of moms feel like if they ate a single donut, their kid wouldn't get into Harvard.

The newer versions are better. They talk about lifestyle changes, LGBTQ+ parents, and even the dads/partners who used to be an afterthought. They've also leaned heavily into the app. Most people use the app now. It sends you a notification every week telling you your baby has eyelashes. It’s cute. It’s addictive.

Why the Book Faces Backlash Today

If you talk to a doula or a more "holistic" birth worker, they might roll their eyes at What to Expect When You're Expecting. Why? Because it’s very rooted in the medical model of childbirth.

It assumes you’re giving birth in a hospital. It assumes you’re probably getting an epidural. While it mentions home births or water births, the tone is definitely "this is an alternative thing people do." For some, it feels a bit clinical.

There's also the "fear factor" mentioned earlier. A study once suggested that reading the book was linked to higher levels of pregnancy-related anxiety. It’s easy to see why. When you provide a 600-page manual for a biological process, you’re implicitly suggesting that there are 600 pages' worth of things that need monitoring.

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  • It can be overwhelming.
  • The "Best-Odds Diet" is still a bit restrictive for some.
  • It leans heavily on a traditional medical perspective.

What Most People Get Wrong About the Advice

People treat it like a rulebook. It’s not. It’s a guide. If the book says you should feel the baby move by week 20 and you don't feel anything until week 22, it doesn't mean something is broken.

Every body is different.

The book tries to generalize an experience that is deeply individual. Honestly, the best way to read it is to skip the parts that don't apply to you. If you aren't worried about caffeine, don't read the section on caffeine. If you’re planning a C-section, don't let the labor breathing exercises stress you out.

The Competition: Why Readers are Wandering

Other books have moved into the space. Emily Oster’s Expecting Better changed the game by looking at the actual data. Oster, an economist, challenged the "no coffee, no sushi" rules that Murkoff’s book helped popularize.

Then you have The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. It’s drier, sure. But some people prefer the straightforward, "just the facts" approach of Mayo Clinic over the chatty, girlfriend-to-girlfriend tone of What to Expect When You're Expecting.

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Actionable Insights for the Newly Pregnant

If you’ve just picked up the book or you’re thinking about it, here is how you actually use it without losing your mind. Use it as a reference, not a novel. You don't need to read it cover to cover in one sitting. That’s a one-way ticket to a panic attack.

  1. Focus on your current month only. Seriously. Don't look ahead to the third trimester if you're still dealing with morning sickness.
  2. Cross-reference with your doctor. If the book says something that scares you, write it down and ask your OB-GYN or midwife. "The book said X, should I worry?" Most of the time, they’ll tell you you're fine.
  3. Take the diet advice with a grain of salt. Or a grain of sugar. If all you can keep down is bagels, eat the bagels. Your body is doing a lot of work.
  4. Use the "What to Expect" app for the fun stuff. The community forums on the app are a mixed bag—sometimes helpful, often dramatic—but the weekly updates are great for visualizing growth.
  5. Check the edition. If you're buying it used, make sure it’s the 5th edition. Science changes. Recommendations on things like sleeping positions and SIDS prevention have updated significantly since the early 2000s.

The book is a tool. It’s a famous one for a reason. It provides a roadmap in a situation where you feel like you’ve lost the map entirely. Just remember that the roadmap isn't the journey itself. You’re going to have symptoms that aren't in there, and you’re going to have a birth that doesn't follow the "standard" timeline. That’s okay.

The most important thing to remember about What to Expect When You're Expecting is that it’s a starting point. It gives you the language to talk to your healthcare providers. It helps you realize that, no, you aren't the only person who has ever felt a weird sharp pain in their hip at 3 AM. There is a weird comfort in knowing millions of other people have turned to these same pages for the last forty years.

Just don't let the "what ifs" overshadow the "what is." You're growing a human. That's pretty wild, with or without the book.

Final Steps to Take Now

  • Download a tracker: Pair the book with a digital tracker like Ovia or the official WTE app to get daily nudges.
  • Audit your stress: If reading the "Complications" chapter makes your heart race, skip it. Ask your partner to read it instead so they know what to watch for.
  • Balance your sources: Pick up a data-driven book like Oster's and a comfort-driven book like Murkoff's. The truth usually lies somewhere in the middle.
  • Talk to your mom or a friend: Ask them what they remember from the book. You'll likely find that the things they worried about most never actually happened.