Everyone asks it. It’s the standard, go-to question adults lob at kids to fill the silence at family reunions or doctor appointments. What did you want to be when you were small? Usually, the kid says something like "astronaut" or "paleontologist." Then everyone smiles, nods, and goes back to talking about taxes or the price of eggs.
But there’s something deeper happening there.
Psychologists like Dr. K. Anders Ericsson, who spent decades studying peak performance, often looked at early-stage interest as a precursor to "deliberate practice." It isn’t just cute playground talk. That early spark—the one that made you spend four hours drawing maps of imaginary islands or trying to fix a broken toaster—is often the purest expression of your natural cognitive strengths before the world told you to "be realistic."
The Science of Childhood Aspirations
Most of us had a phase. Maybe yours was dinosaurs. Maybe it was the Titanic. For some, it was strictly about becoming a ballerina or a firefighter. LinkedIn actually ran a massive survey on this a few years back, and the results were kind of hilarious but also telling. They found that only about 10% of adults actually end up in the profession they dreamed about as kids.
Does that mean the other 90% failed?
Not really.
Think about the "why" behind the dream. If you wanted to be a vet, was it because you loved surgery? Probably not. You were likely drawn to the idea of caretaking or problem-solving. If you wanted to be an astronaut, maybe it wasn't about the vacuum of space, but about discovery and being a pioneer. When we look back at what did you want to be when you were small, we shouldn't look at the job title. We should look at the "core verb."
- The Builder: If you loved Legos, you might be a software engineer or a project manager today.
- The Performer: That kid who put on plays in the living room is now the salesperson who kills it in every presentation.
- The Collector: If you obsessively organized your baseball cards, you’re probably great at data analysis or logistics.
It’s about the underlying architecture of your brain. Honestly, we spend so much time trying to pivot our careers in our 30s because we’ve drifted too far from those original impulses.
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Why We Lose the Spark
Life gets in the way. Obviously. You have bills. You have a mortgage. You have a boss who emails you at 9:00 PM on a Tuesday.
Sociologist Dr. Martha Beck often discusses the "Social Self" versus the "Essential Self." The Social Self is the one that picks a major based on salary data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics. The Essential Self is the one that remembers the pure joy of digging for worms or writing poetry in a spiral notebook.
When you reflect on what did you want to be when you were small, you're tapping into that Essential Self. Most of us abandon these dreams because of "social contagion"—we see what our peers are doing and we mirror it. We choose the safe path. But the safe path often leads to a mid-life crisis where you realize you've spent twenty years doing something that doesn't actually fit your personality.
It’s kind of tragic, really.
We trade "explorer" for "middle manager" and wonder why we’re tired all the time. It’s not just the workload; it’s the lack of alignment.
Reconnecting Without Quitting Your Job
You don't have to quit your job to honor your childhood self. That’s a common misconception that keeps people stuck.
If you wanted to be an artist but you’re an accountant, you don’t need to move to Paris and live in a garret. You just need to find a way to bring creativity into your current structure. Maybe that’s taking over the visual branding of your firm’s reports. Maybe it’s a weekend pottery class.
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The goal is to find the "flow state." Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi defined this as the state where you lose track of time because you're so immersed in a task. Kids find flow state easily. Adults have to fight for it.
Identifying Your Core Verb
To figure out how to reintegrate your childhood passions, try this. Sit down and write out three things you loved doing before you were twelve. Don't think about jobs. Think about actions.
- Did you like organizing things?
- Did you like competing?
- Did you like explaining things to people?
- Were you the one leading the group?
Once you have your verbs, look at your current calendar. How many of those verbs appear in your work week? If the answer is zero, that's why you're burnt out.
The Economic Reality of Dreams
Let's be real for a second. Some childhood dreams are statistically impossible. There are only about 500 people who have ever been to space. There are only about 1,700 players in the NFL at any given time.
Economics matters.
But the "spirit" of the dream is what carries the value. A 2022 study published in the Journal of Vocational Behavior suggested that people who perceive their work as a "calling"—which often stems from childhood interests—report higher job satisfaction and lower stress, even if the pay isn't at the top of the scale.
The market doesn't always reward our passions. We know this. But the market does reward excellence, and it is much easier to be excellent at something you actually care about.
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Practical Steps to Reclamation
If you feel disconnected from that version of yourself, here is how you bridge the gap.
Audit your curiosities. Look at your browser history or the books on your nightstand. We often gravitate toward our childhood interests in our "off-time" without realizing it. If you find yourself watching documentaries about ancient Rome, your childhood desire to be an archaeologist is still alive in your brain.
Experiment with "micro-hobbies." Don't buy $500 worth of equipment for a new hobby. Just try the simplest version of it for thirty minutes. If you wanted to be a writer, write one paragraph today. Not a book. Not a chapter. Just a paragraph.
Change your narrative. Stop saying "I wanted to be an astronaut" like it’s a failed goal. Start saying "I’ve always been fascinated by exploration and the unknown." That shift moves the dream from a dead end to a living personality trait.
Connect with your "Small Self." Find a photo of yourself from when you were seven or eight. Put it somewhere you can see it. It sounds cheesy, I know. But it’s a psychological anchor. When you’re making a big career decision, ask if that kid would be proud or if they’d be bored out of their mind.
Final Practical Takeaways
- Identify your "Core Verbs" from childhood (Building, Helping, Leading, etc.).
- Map those verbs to your current daily tasks to find the disconnect.
- Introduce "Micro-Flow" sessions into your week that mimic childhood play.
- Stop evaluating childhood dreams by their job titles and start evaluating them by their emotional rewards.
The question of what did you want to be when you were small isn't a museum piece. It’s a compass. It tells you which way "north" is for your soul. You might not be a jet pilot or a princess, but you can certainly find the speed or the leadership that those roles represented to you back then. Reconnecting with that kid isn't about being immature; it's about being authentic in a world that constantly asks you to be someone else.