You ever get that weird, sinking feeling at 2:00 PM on a Tuesday? You’re staring at a spreadsheet or a Slack channel, and suddenly the walls feel like they’re closing in. It isn't just boredom. It’s a physical weight. Honestly, most of us spend our lives running on a treadmill that isn’t even plugged into anything. We’ve been told that success is a linear path—school, job, mortgage, retirement—but deep down, there’s this nagging whisper that we were meant to live for so much more than just paying bills until we die.
It's a cliché because it's true.
Modern life is basically a giant optimization problem. We optimize our sleep with rings, our calories with apps, and our productivity with "hacks." But we’re miserable. Depression and anxiety rates aren't just rising; they're skyrocketing in developed nations. According to the World Health Organization, depression is a leading cause of disability worldwide. We have more "stuff" than any generation in human history, yet we feel empty. This disconnect happens because we’ve traded meaning for efficiency.
The Biological Reality of Being "Meant for More"
Humans didn't evolve to sit in ergonomic chairs under LED lights for eight hours a day. We really didn't. Our brains are still wired for the Pleistocene. We are biological machines built for movement, community, and direct problem-solving. When you feel that itch for "more," it’s often your biology screaming at you.
Neuroscience shows us that dopamine—the chemical we usually associate with pleasure—is actually about seeking. Dr. Robert Sapolsky, a neurobiologist at Stanford, has spent decades studying this. Dopamine spikes during the anticipation of a reward, not just the reward itself. If your life is entirely predictable, your dopamine system essentially withers. You lose that "spark" because there's nothing left to hunt, nothing to build, and nothing to discover. You’re stagnant.
Stagnation is a slow death.
Think about the concept of "Flow," popularized by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. He described it as a state where you’re so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter. It’s that feeling when time disappears. You don't find flow in a cubicle doing repetitive data entry. You find it when you’re pushed to the edge of your abilities. That's the "more" your brain is actually craving: challenge, not comfort.
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Why Social Media is a Fake Version of the More We Want
We’ve tried to fill the void with digital noise. We see influencers traveling to Bali or living in vans and think, that’s it! That’s the more I’m looking for! It usually isn't.
That is just another form of consumption. You're consuming someone else's curated "meaning." Real fulfillment—the kind that makes you feel like we were meant to live for so much more—comes from contribution, not just consumption. Look at the "Blue Zones" research by Dan Buettner. These are spots around the world where people live the longest, often hitting 100 with ease. They aren't all rich. They aren't all "successful" by Western standards. But they have Ikigai (a reason to wake up) and Moai (a social support group).
They belong to something.
Compare that to our current "loneliness epidemic." In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, issued an advisory calling loneliness a public health crisis as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. We have 5,000 "friends" on Instagram but nobody to call when our car breaks down at midnight. We were meant for deep, messy, sacrificial community. Not "likes."
The Trap of the "Arrival Fallacy"
There’s this thing called the Arrival Fallacy. Harvard psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar coined the term. It’s the belief that once you reach a certain goal—the promotion, the marriage, the house—you’ll be happy.
Spoiler alert: You won't.
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Not for long, anyway. Your brain has a "hedonic set point." You get the thing, you feel a rush, and then you revert to your baseline. If you think the "so much more" is a destination, you’re going to be disappointed every single time. The "more" is actually the process of becoming. It’s the struggle. It’s the "Great Work" that philosophers like Nietzsche talked about. He believed we should embrace "Amor Fati"—the love of fate, including the suffering—because that’s where the growth is.
Reclaiming Your Life: Practical Steps to Find the "More"
You don’t have to quit your job and move to a mountain (unless you want to, I guess). But you do have to stop living on autopilot. Here is how you actually start shifting toward a life that feels like it matters.
Stop Trading Time for Money Exclusively
If 100% of your productive energy goes to a corporation that would replace you in a week if you died, you’re doing it wrong. You need a "Side Project of the Soul." This isn't a "side hustle"—don't try to monetize it immediately. It’s something you do purely because it makes you feel alive. Painting, gardening, coding a weird app, training for a marathon. Just something that is yours.
The 3-2-1 Rule for Digital Detox
Digital noise kills reflection. You can't hear your own intuition if you're constantly listening to podcasts or scrolling TikTok.
- 3 hours before bed: No more work emails.
- 2 hours before bed: No food (better sleep = clearer head).
- 1 hour before bed: No screens.
Read a physical book. Talk to a human. Sit in silence. It’ll feel uncomfortable at first. That discomfort is your brain recalibrating.
Pursue Voluntary Hardship
Comfort is a slow poison. If you never face physical or mental resistance, you become fragile. Take cold showers. Go for a long hike where you get a bit lost. Lift heavy weights. Stoic philosophers like Seneca used to practice "poverty days" where they ate only the cheapest food and wore rags, just to prove to themselves they didn't need the luxury to be happy. When you survive something hard, you realize how much more capable you are than you thought.
Audit Your Tribe
Are the people you spend time with obsessed with gossip and Netflix, or are they trying to build something? You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. It's an old saying, but it’s mathematically sound in terms of social influence. If your circle doesn't believe we were meant to live for so much more, they will subconsciously pull you back down to their level of "fine."
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The Risk of Doing Nothing
The biggest risk isn't failing. The biggest risk is being "comfortable enough" to never change.
There's a famous study by Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse who spent years talking to people in their final weeks of life. The number one regret? "I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."
That is haunting.
Living for "more" isn't about being famous or having a billion dollars. It’s about alignment. It’s about your external life matching your internal values. It’s about looking at your calendar and seeing things that actually excite you, or at least challenge you in a way that feels worthwhile.
We weren't meant to be cogs. We were meant to be creators, explorers, and neighbors.
Actionable Next Steps
- Identify your "Cognitive Surplus": Look at your screen time report. Take half of those hours and reallocate them to a skill you’ve always wanted to learn but claimed you "didn't have time" for.
- Schedule a "Service Day": Do something for someone else where there is zero chance of it benefiting you financially or socially. Volunteer at a shelter, help a neighbor with their yard, or mentor someone. Giving back is the fastest way to kill the "is this all there is?" feeling.
- Define your "More": Write down exactly what "living for more" looks like for you. Be specific. "Being happy" is too vague. "Spending 10 hours a week outdoors and finishing my first novel" is a target you can actually hit.
- Practice Radical Honesty: Start saying "no" to things that drain your spirit. If an invitation or a project doesn't make you feel a "hell yes," it's a "no." Clear the clutter so the "more" has room to show up.