Why We Are Nintendo You Cannot Beat Us Still Haunts the Internet

Why We Are Nintendo You Cannot Beat Us Still Haunts the Internet

If you spent any time on the weird side of YouTube circa 2009, you probably have a specific, grainy image burned into your retinas. It’s a group of people wearing cheap plastic masks of Mario, Donkey Kong, and Link. They are singing. Well, "singing" is a generous term for the rhythmic, menacing chanting that gave birth to the phrase we are nintendo you cannot beat us. It wasn't meant to be a creepypasta. It was a commercial. A real, televised Australian advertisement for the Nintendo Entertainment System from the late 1980s that somehow transformed into a foundational pillar of internet meme culture decades after its broadcast.

Memes usually die. They flare up, get used by a brand on Twitter, and then wither into cringe-inducing obscurity. But this one? It’s different. It’s sticky.

The Weird History of a Forgotten Commercial

Most people assume the footage is a fan-made parody or some early-era internet skit. It’s actually 100% official marketing. Back in the late 80s, Nintendo of Australia was a bit of a wild west. While Nintendo of America was busy positioning the NES as a high-tech "Entertainment System" to distance itself from the 1983 video game crash, the Australian marketing team went full surrealist.

The ad features a giant, disembodied head—often compared to the "Master Hand" or a proto-Andross from Star Fox—facing off against a crowd of people. These people aren't just fans; they are portrayed as a unified collective. They chant the line we are nintendo you cannot beat us with a level of aggression that feels deeply uncomfortable by modern standards. It’s tribal. It’s weirdly cult-like.

Honestly, it captures a specific era of "attitude" marketing before it became polished and corporate. The commercial was trying to sell the challenge of the games. If you couldn't beat the game, the game—or rather, the collective entity of Nintendo—was beating you. It was a literal challenge issued to the kids of the 80s.

Why the 2000s Resurrected the Chant

Fast forward to the era of Newgrounds and early YouTube. The video was rediscovered and immediately became a goldmine for "YouTube Poop" (YTP) creators. For the uninitiated, YTP was a genre of video editing that relied on heavy distortion, repetitive loops, and nonsensical humor. The rhythmic nature of the chant made it perfect for remixes.

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It wasn't just about the weirdness, though. It was the irony. By 2010, Nintendo was the "family-friendly" company of the Wii and DS. Seeing this aggressive, almost threatening version of the brand was hilarious to a generation that grew up with Nintendogs.

The phrase became a shorthand for Nintendo’s perceived invincibility in the market. Every time a competitor tried to "kill" Nintendo and failed—like the Vita or the initial struggles of the Xbox One—the chant would resurface. We are nintendo you cannot beat us became a meta-commentary on the company's stubborn refusal to go the way of Sega.

The Uncanny Valley of 80s Special Effects

There is a technical reason this specific ad sticks in the brain: the Uncanny Valley. The masks used in the commercial weren't high-fidelity. They were stiff, vacuum-formed plastic that didn't move when the actors spoke. This created a visual dissonance. You hear a human voice, but the "face" is a frozen, smiling Mario.

The Psychological Trigger

Psychologically, the "collective" aspect of the chant triggers a mild "us vs. them" response. When the crowd says "We are Nintendo," they aren't saying they work for the company. They are saying they are the ecosystem. It’s a bizarrely prophetic look at how brand loyalty would evolve into the "console wars" of the 2000s and 2010s.

Even the music is unsettling. It’s a driving, industrial-adjacent beat that sounds more like something from a 90s rave than a toy commercial. It lacked the whimsical "hook" of the later Super Mario World ads. Instead, it had grit.

We Are Nintendo You Cannot Beat Us in Modern Modding

If you think this is just a dead meme for boomers, you haven't looked at the Friday Night Funkin' (FNF) community. FNF is a rhythm game that thrives on modding, and one of its most popular sub-genres is "creepypasta" mods.

The we are nintendo you cannot beat us phrase was integrated into a massive mod titled "Mario's Madness." In this version, the characters are transformed into horrific, "EXE" style versions of themselves. The chant is used as the lyrical backbone for a song called "Unbeatable."

This brought the meme to a whole new generation. Kids who weren't even born when the original YouTube remixes were popular are now obsessed with the "Unbeatable" trio of Bowser, Duck Hunt Dog, and Mr. Sys (the disembodied head from the ad).

The Evolution of Mr. Sys

Mr. Sys is the name fans gave to the giant head in the commercial. Originally, he was just a generic graphic meant to represent the computer system. Now, he’s treated like a legendary Nintendo villain, on par with Ganon or Ridley in the eyes of internet lore-hunters. It’s a fascinating example of how the internet can take a 30-second piece of corporate trash and turn it into a digital deity.

Can You Actually Beat Nintendo?

From a business perspective, the phrase has some truth to it. Nintendo’s "Blue Ocean" strategy—finding markets where there is no competition—has made them incredibly resilient.

  • They didn't try to out-power the PS3; they made the Wii.
  • They didn't try to make a better phone; they made the Switch.

Every time analysts say Nintendo is "doomed" (a meme in itself), the company releases a game like Breath of the Wild or Animal Crossing: New Horizons and breaks the internet. In a way, the 1980s Australian marketing team was right. You can't beat them by playing their game. You can only play your game and hope they don't decide to enter your lane.

How to Experience the Lore Today

If you want to go down this rabbit hole, don't just watch the original ad. You have to see the layers of history built on top of it.

  1. Watch the original 1989 Australian NES commercial. Look for the version with the "Master System" comparison if you want to see the pure 80s salt.
  2. Check out the "Unbeatable" track from Mario's Madness V2. Even if you aren't into rhythm games, the animation is a masterclass in how to modernize a retro aesthetic.
  3. Find the "Big Gillman" remixes. These are the older, more "pure" YTP versions that started the trend.

The most interesting thing about we are nintendo you cannot beat us is that it proves nothing ever truly disappears. A failed marketing experiment in Sydney can become a nightmare-fuel anthem for a kid in Ohio thirty years later. It’s a testament to the power of weirdness. In a world of polished, safe, AI-generated marketing, the raw, unsettling energy of Mr. Sys and his masked minions feels strangely authentic.

Actionable Takeaways for Creators and Fans

If you're a creator looking to tap into this kind of viral longevity, the lesson isn't "be creepy." It’s "be memorable through specificity." The ad didn't just say Nintendo was good; it created a bizarre world with its own rules and language.

For the fans, the next step is simple: pay attention to the "weird" marketing of today. What feels "cringe" or "off" right now is exactly what the internet will be nostalgic for in 2045. Whether it's a strange ARG or a botched celebrity endorsement, the outliers are always what survive the passage of time. Keep an eye on the official Nintendo YouTube channels for their "weird" regional ads—especially from Japan—as they often contain the seeds for the next big "Unbeatable" style resurgence.

To understand the full scope of Nintendo's cultural grip, look into their history of legal "cease and desist" orders. It’s a darker side of the "you cannot beat us" mantra. While the meme is funny, it also reflects a company that is fiercely protective of its IP, sometimes to a fault. Understanding that tension between the "fun" characters and the "ruthless" legal department is key to understanding why this meme feels so threateningly true.

Check out the history of Nintendo of Australia specifically. It was a joint venture between Nintendo and a company called Mattel for a while, which explains why their early ads look so different from the American ones produced by Leo Burnett. This separation allowed for the creative "risk" that gave us the chant in the first place. Without that specific corporate structure, one of the internet's greatest memes would never have existed.