Why To My Dear and Loving Husband by Anne Bradstreet Still Matters

Why To My Dear and Loving Husband by Anne Bradstreet Still Matters

Anne Bradstreet shouldn’t have been a poet. Honestly, if you look at the rigid, suffocating social structures of 17th-century Massachusetts, a woman writing about her intense, borderline erotic devotion to her husband was practically an act of rebellion. Yet, here we are, centuries later, still reading To My Dear and Loving Husband by Anne Bradstreet because it taps into something so fundamentally human that it bypasses the dusty bookshelves of history. It’s short. It’s punchy. It’s surprisingly bold for a Puritan.

Most people assume Puritan life was just black hats, stern faces, and a complete lack of joy. That’s a caricature. Bradstreet’s work proves that beneath the starched collars, these people felt things deeply. They loved hard. When you read this poem, you aren't just reading a piece of literature; you're eavesdropping on a private, fiery marriage that survived the literal wilderness of the New World.

The Scandal of Putting a Husband Above God

In the 1600s, your primary love was supposed to be for God. Period. Anything else was "inordinate affection," a fancy way of saying you’re obsessed with something worldly. Bradstreet walks a very thin line here. She starts the poem with a challenge: "If ever two were one, then surely we."

That’s a big statement. It’s a mathematical impossibility that she turns into a spiritual truth. She goes on to say she prizes her husband’s love more than "whole mines of gold" or all the riches in the East. You have to understand that for a woman in her position, saying her husband’s love is "quenchless" suggests a physical and emotional hunger that was, frankly, a bit much for the local clergy.

She isn't just saying she likes the guy. She's saying his love is a debt she can't repay. It’s a total surrender.

Some critics, like those who contribute to the Poetry Foundation or scholarly journals like Early American Literature, point out that Bradstreet was constantly balancing her "earthly" love with her "heavenly" duties. You can see her struggling with this in her other poems, especially the ones about her house burning down or her children leaving. But in To My Dear and Loving Husband by Anne Bradstreet, the struggle is gone. It’s just pure, unadulterated devotion. It’s almost as if, for twelve lines, she forgot she was supposed to be a humble servant of the church and remembered she was a woman in love with Simon Bradstreet.

A Marriage That Defied the Odds

Simon Bradstreet wasn't just some guy. He was a major player in the Massachusetts Bay Colony, eventually becoming governor. He was gone a lot. He traveled for business, for politics, for the general survival of their community. This poem wasn't written during a cozy night by the fire; it was likely written during one of his long absences.

Imagine the loneliness.

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You’re in a cabin. The wind is howling. There are wolves—literally—in the woods. You have eight kids. And you’re writing about how your husband’s love is better than gold. It puts a different spin on the "loving" part, doesn't it? It wasn't a passive love. It was a survival mechanism.

Breaking Down the Language of To My Dear and Loving Husband by Anne Bradstreet

The poem is written in iambic pentameter, which is the "da-DUM da-DUM" rhythm we associate with Shakespeare. It feels natural. It feels like a heartbeat. But look at the rhyme scheme. It’s AABBCC. Couplets. Everything comes in pairs, mirroring the "two-as-one" theme she sets up in the very first line.

  • "If ever wife was happy in a man,"
  • "Compare with me, ye women, if you can."

She’s bragging. It’s a 17th-century "flex." She is literally calling out every other woman in the colony and saying, "My marriage is better than yours." It’s bold. It’s slightly petty. It’s incredibly human.

Most people miss the ending, though. "Then while we live, in love let’s so persevere / That when we live no more, we may live ever." This is her "get out of jail free" card with the Puritan authorities. She’s framing their earthly love as a prerequisite for eternal life. She’s saying that by loving each other so perfectly on Earth, they are somehow securing their spot in Heaven together. It’s a clever theological pivot.

Why We Get Anne Bradstreet Wrong

We often treat her like a museum piece. We see the portrait (which, by the way, might not even be her) and we see a "pioneer woman." But Bradstreet was an intellectual. She was well-educated. She had access to her father’s extensive library back in England before they sailed on the Arbella. She knew her classics. She knew her theology.

When she wrote To My Dear and Loving Husband by Anne Bradstreet, she wasn't just "venting" her feelings. She was crafting a sophisticated piece of art that utilized the "plain style" favored by Puritans but infused it with the "metaphysical" wit of poets like John Donne.

The misconception is that she was a "simple" housewife who happened to write. No. She was a writer who happened to be a housewife. Her brother-in-law actually took her poems back to England and had them published without her "knowledge"—or so the story goes—under the title The Tenth Muse Lately Sprung Up in America. It was a smash hit. She was the first published poet in the American colonies. Think about that for a second. The first literary voice of a New World was a woman talking about her husband.

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The Paradox of Puritan Passion

People think the Puritans hated sex. They didn't. They actually viewed it as a "marital duty" and a gift from God, provided it stayed within the marriage. Bradstreet’s poem is a testament to that. She uses words like "recompense" and "quench," which have physical undertones.

She isn't shy about it.

"My love is such that rivers cannot quench," she writes. That’s a direct allusion to the Song of Solomon in the Bible, which is the most erotic book in the scriptures. She knew exactly what she was doing. She was using the language of the Bible to justify the intensity of her physical and emotional attraction to Simon.

The Lasting Impact on American Literature

Without Anne Bradstreet, you don't get Emily Dickinson. You don't get Sylvia Plath. You don't get that specific thread of American writing that explores the domestic space as a site of cosmic importance.

She proved that you didn't need to write about epic battles or kings to be a "real" poet. You could write about your bedroom. You could write about your kitchen. You could write about the man sitting across the table from you.

In the academic world, researchers like Adrienne Rich have revisited Bradstreet’s work to find the "hidden" woman beneath the religious exterior. Rich argues that Bradstreet’s poetry is a site of resistance. Every time she writes about her own desires, she’s pushing back against a society that wanted her to be invisible.

Common Questions About the Poem

Is it actually about Simon? Yes. Despite some modern readings trying to make it universal, the context of her life and her other poems (like "A Letter to Her Husband, Absent upon Public Employment") make it clear this was a specific tribute to her partner.

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Is the "gold" metaphor just a cliché?
In 1650? Not really. Gold was a literal, tangible measure of survival and status in the colonies. To say love is better than gold wasn't just a sweet sentiment; it was a radical statement of values in a struggling, mercantilist society.

Why is it so short?
Brevity is the soul of wit, right? The poem is 12 lines. It’s tight. There’s no fluff. That’s why it’s so easy to memorize and why it stays in your head. It’s a snapshot, not a documentary.

How to Read This Poem Today

If you want to actually "get" what Bradstreet was doing, don't read it like a homework assignment. Read it like a love letter you weren't supposed to find.

  1. Focus on the verbs. Look at "prize," "quench," "repay," "persevere." These are active, heavy words. This isn't a poem about "feeling" love; it's about the work and value of love.
  2. Consider the risk. Every time she used the word "I," she was asserting her identity in a world that preferred "we" (the church) or "him" (the husband).
  3. Look for the "But." The poem doesn't have a "but" in the literal sense, but the transition from the physical "mines of gold" to the spiritual "live ever" is the pivot that makes the poem genius.

Actionable Steps for Exploring Bradstreet Further

If you're actually interested in the roots of American poetry, don't stop at this one poem. To My Dear and Loving Husband by Anne Bradstreet is the gateway drug to a much weirder, more complex body of work.

  • Read "The Prologue." It’s where she gets snarky about people saying her hand "a needle better fits" than a pen. It’s the ultimate feminist clapback from 1650.
  • Visit the North Andover Historical Society. They have resources on the Bradstreet family and the environment they lived in. Seeing the actual landscape of colonial Massachusetts changes how you read her words.
  • Compare her to Edward Taylor. He was another Puritan poet, but he kept his work secret until the 1930s. Seeing the difference between his private devotion and Bradstreet’s (semi) public devotion is fascinating.
  • Try writing your own couplets. It sounds easy, but trying to express a complex emotion in AABB format without sounding like a greeting card is incredibly difficult. It will make you respect her technical skill a lot more.

Anne Bradstreet wasn't a saint. She was a person trying to make sense of a harsh world through the lens of a very intense relationship. That’s why we’re still talking about her. Whether you're a student, a writer, or just someone who likes a good love story, her work offers a raw, unfiltered look at the human heart that hasn't aged a day.

To dive deeper into the historical context of the Massachusetts Bay Colony and how it shaped early American voices, check out the archives at the Massachusetts Historical Society. You can find primary documents that illustrate the daily life Bradstreet was navigating while she composed her verses.

Exploring the tension between personal desire and communal duty in her work provides a blueprint for understanding the American identity—a constant tug-of-war between the individual and the group. Start by comparing this poem to her more somber "Upon the Burning of Our House," where she forced herself to thank God for destroying all her earthly possessions. The contrast is where the real Anne Bradstreet lives.