Lionel Richie was at a party. It wasn't just any party, though; it was his parents' 37th wedding anniversary. He sat there, watching his father stand up and toast his mother, and the words his dad spoke basically changed the course of R&B history. He said, "I love you. I want you. I need you." Simple. Direct. Pure. Lionel took those words, added a melody that feels like a warm hug, and gave the world the lyrics to 3 times a lady.
It’s a waltz. In 1978, while everyone else was sweatily grinding to disco beats, the Commodores released a 3/4 time signature ballad. It shouldn't have worked. It was the antithesis of the Bee Gees or Chic. Yet, it became their first number-one hit.
The song captures a very specific kind of gratitude. It’s not the "I'm obsessed with you" kind of love that dominates Top 40 today. It’s the "thank you for putting up with me" kind of love. When you actually sit down and read the lyrics to 3 times a lady, you realize it’s an apology as much as it is a tribute.
The Story Behind the Song
Lionel Richie has often talked about how this song was a turning point for his career and his confidence as a songwriter. Before this, the Commodores were a funk band. They were the guys who did "Brick House." They were loud, groovy, and brass-heavy. But Lionel had this softer, country-leaning sensibility. He actually wrote the song with Frank Sinatra in mind. Seriously. He didn't think it fit the band's "brand" at the time.
James Carmichael, the producer who worked closely with the group, told him to keep it. It was a gamble. You have to remember the context of the late seventies. The charts were dominated by high-energy production. Dropping a slow, piano-driven waltz was a massive risk. But it paid off because the sentiment was universal.
Richie’s parents, Alberta and Lyonel Sr., provided the blueprint. His father’s toast wasn't just about romance; it was about the different seasons of a relationship. That's where the "three times" comes from. It’s not about three different women. It’s about the three stages of a woman’s role in a long-term partnership: a friend, a lover, and a partner through life’s messiness.
Breaking Down the Verse
"Thanks for the times that you've given me," the song begins. It’s an acknowledgment of time spent.
Honestly, the opening is pretty humble. It doesn't start with a grand declaration. It starts with a "thank you." Most love songs are about the singer's feelings, but this one focuses on the recipient's sacrifice. "The memories are all in my mind." It’s nostalgic. It’s looking back at a life built together.
The line "I've been through so many changes in my life" is arguably the most honest part of the whole track. It’s Lionel admitting he wasn't always easy to be with. If you've ever been in a long-term relationship, you know that the person you are at 20 is not the person you are at 40. Your partner has to survive all those versions of you.
Why the Chorus Works
The hook is where the magic happens. "You’re once, twice, three times a lady."
What does that even mean?
It’s a bit of a mathematical way to describe devotion, isn't it? But it works because it sounds like a superlative. It’s saying she is more than enough. It’s saying she fills every corner of his life. People have debated for years what the "three times" specifically refers to. Some say it's "yesterday, today, and tomorrow." Others stick to the "I love you, I want you, I need you" triplet from his father's toast.
The beauty of the lyrics to 3 times a lady is that it doesn't matter which interpretation you choose. The feeling is the same. It’s an elevation of a person. It’s giving them their flowers while they can still smell them.
Musically, the way Lionel hits those notes—softly, almost like a whisper, then building up—reinforces the lyrics. He’s not shouting. He’s testifying.
A Departure from the Funk
The Commodores were worried. Imagine being a world-class funk unit and your lead singer hands you a waltz.
They were used to syncopated basslines and heavy horns. This song required restraint. It’s mostly piano and strings with a very light touch on the drums. It allowed Lionel’s voice to be the centerpiece. If you listen closely to the original recording, there is a clarity to his diction that was rare in soul music at the time. He wanted every word to be understood. He wanted the message to be the star.
Common Misconceptions About the Lyrics
A lot of people think this is a wedding song. And it is! Thousands of people have danced to it at their weddings. But if you look at the second verse, it’s actually about a guy who is leaving.
Wait, what?
"When we are together, the moments I cherish / With every beat of my heart / But the time has come to find that we've both grown / And it's time that we've both reached the end."
Wait. Let’s look at that again.
There’s a version of the story where this song was actually written as a goodbye. Richie has clarified in various interviews (like his sit-down with the Academy of Achievement) that the "end" mentioned in the song isn't necessarily a breakup. It's more about the end of a specific era or perhaps the realization of how much time has passed. But man, if you read those specific lines literally, it sounds like a breakup song hidden inside a love ballad.
This is the nuance people miss.
Great songwriting often contains a bit of tension. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows. There’s a bittersweetness to the lyrics to 3 times a lady. It’s the realization that life is short and we’ve reached a point where we have to acknowledge the gravity of our time together.
The Impact on Pop Culture
You can't talk about this song without mentioning its legacy. It’s been covered by everyone from Conway Twitty (who took it to the top of the country charts) to various R&B acts.
It bridged the gap between black and white audiences in a way few songs did in the late 70s. It wasn't "black music" or "white music." It was just a great song. This crossover appeal paved the way for Lionel Richie’s solo career, which eventually gave us hits like "Hello" and "All Night Long." Without the success of this specific track, we might never have seen Lionel become the global icon he is today.
How to Appreciate the Song Today
If you’re listening to it now, in 2026, it might feel a bit "cheesy" to some. Our modern ears are used to heavy processing and cynical lyrics.
But there’s a reason this song persists.
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It’s the sincerity. There isn't a drop of irony in Lionel’s delivery. He means every single word. In an age of ghosting and "situationships," there is something incredibly grounding about a song that celebrates the long haul.
It’s about the person who stays.
The person who sees you at your worst and still thinks you’re "once, twice, three times a lady." It’s about the endurance of character over the flashiness of a first impression.
Understanding the Structure
The song doesn't follow a traditional pop structure. It’s very repetitive, but intentionally so.
- Intro: Soft piano, setting the mood.
- Verse 1: The "Thank You."
- Chorus: The "Declaration."
- Verse 2: The "Bittersweet Reflection."
- Chorus: Reiteration.
- Outro: Fading out on the core sentiment.
This circularity mimics the feeling of a waltz. You keep coming back to the same point, but you’re moving through the room. It’s a rhythmic representation of a long-term commitment.
Actionable Takeaways for Music Lovers
If you’re a songwriter or just someone who loves deep-diving into music history, there are a few things to take away from the lyrics to 3 times a lady.
- Don't fear simplicity. You don't need complex metaphors to break someone's heart or make them fall in love. "I love you, I want you, I need you" is as basic as it gets, yet it carries the weight of a 40-year marriage.
- Look for inspiration in the everyday. Lionel didn't find this song in a dream or a drug-fueled haze. He found it at a family dinner. He listened to his dad. Pay attention to the people around you; they are often saying exactly what the world needs to hear.
- Contrast is key. If you're known for one thing (like funk), don't be afraid to do the exact opposite. The shock of the new is what creates legendary moments.
- Check the context. When you hear a song at a wedding, don't just assume it’s a happy song. Read the second verse. It might change how you see the whole track.
Next time you hear those opening piano chords, don't just let them wash over you. Think about that anniversary party. Think about the risk the Commodores took. Think about the "changes" the singer mentions. Most importantly, think about who in your life deserves to be told they are "three times a lady" (or a gentleman).
The song isn't just a relic of the 70s. It's a masterclass in emotional honesty. It reminds us that at the end of the day, all we really have are the "times" we've given each other and the "memories" in our minds. That’s enough. Actually, it’s more than enough. It’s everything.
To really get the most out of the lyrics to 3 times a lady, try listening to the live versions Lionel Richie has performed over the years. You can hear how the song has aged with him. His voice gets a little raspier, the pauses get a little longer, and the "thank you" feels even more earned. It’s the sound of a man who has lived the lyrics he wrote as a young man. That’s the real power of a classic—it grows up right along with you.
If you want to dive deeper into the era of the Commodores, look for their 1978 self-titled album. It’s a fascinating snapshot of a band caught between their funky roots and their massive pop future. You’ll see exactly why this song stood out like a diamond in the rough. It was the moment the world realized Lionel Richie wasn't just a singer in a band; he was a voice for the ages.