It started with a toast. Lionel Richie was sitting at a party for his parents' 37th wedding anniversary when his father stood up. The man looked at his wife and said, "I love you, I want you, I need you."
That was it. Simple.
Lionel went home and wrote Three Times a Lady by Commodores based on that exact sentiment, never once imagining it would become the definitive wedding song for the next fifty years. Honestly, at the time, the Commodores were a funk band. They were the guys who did "Brick House." They were sweaty, loud, and groovy. Nobody expected a waltz—literally a $3/4$ time signature ballad—to redefine their entire career and eventually launch Lionel into a solo superstardom that would rival Michael Jackson.
The Song the Commodores Almost Didn't Want
You have to understand the vibe in 1977. The Commodores were riding high on heavy basslines. When Lionel brought this piano ballad to the group, the reception wasn't exactly a standing ovation. There’s a long-standing story in the Motown archives that Lionel actually wrote the song with Frank Sinatra in mind. He didn't think it "fit" the Commodores' image.
James Anthony Carmichael, the producer who basically became the secret weapon for the band, heard something different. He saw the crossover potential.
The track is stripped back. It’s sparse. In an era of disco strings and wall-to-wall production, Three Times a Lady by Commodores feels incredibly intimate. It’s just a piano, some subtle bass, and that soaring, slightly nasal but perfectly emotive vocal. It was a massive risk. If it flopped, they’d look like they lost their edge. Instead, it stayed at number one on the Billboard Hot 100 for five weeks in 1978. It was the only Motown song to hit the top spot that entire year. Think about that. Motown was a hit factory, and this one song carried the banner.
Why the $3/4$ Time Signature Actually Works
Most pop songs live in $4/4$ time. It's the heartbeat of radio. But Three Times a Lady by Commodores uses a waltz tempo. This is why it feels so different when it comes on the radio even today. It forces you to sway rather than bob your head.
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Musically, the song is a masterclass in tension and release.
- The verses are low-key, almost whispered.
- The chorus explodes with the "And I love you" line.
- The bridge introduces a slight harmonic shift that signals the emotional peak.
It’s mathematically satisfying. By using a waltz rhythm, Richie tapped into a primal, old-school sense of romance that bypassed the disco craze entirely. It felt timeless the day it was released. That’s probably why your parents, your grandparents, and that one cousin who only listens to indie folk all know the lyrics.
The "Three Times" Meaning: What Most People Get Wrong
People often get confused about what "three times a lady" actually means. Is it a reference to the Holy Trinity? Is it some weird 70s slang?
Nope.
It’s literal. Lionel’s father’s toast to his mother was about the three stages of their relationship:
- The woman he loved.
- The woman he wanted.
- The woman he needed.
When you listen to the lyrics, Richie is essentially thanking a woman for being everything to him through different phases of life. It’s not a "woo-ing" song; it’s a "thank you for staying" song. That’s a subtle distinction, but it’s why it resonates so deeply at anniversaries. It’s about longevity.
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The Motown Conflict and the Solo Breakout
Success has a price. The massive global impact of Three Times a Lady by Commodores created a massive rift within the band. Suddenly, the world didn't want the funk; they wanted the ballads. The label wanted more Lionels.
The other members—Thomas McClary, Milan Williams, William King, Ronald LaPread, and Walter Orange—were incredible musicians who wanted to keep the "Commodores" brand synonymous with R&B and funk. But you can't argue with a multi-platinum single. The song hit number one in the UK, Canada, Ireland, and Australia. It was a juggernaut.
Eventually, this internal tug-of-war led to Lionel leaving in 1982. You could argue that this song was the beginning of the end for the original lineup, even as it was the pinnacle of their commercial success. It’s a bit of a tragedy, really. One song so good it essentially breaks the band that made it.
The Production Secrets of 1978
If you listen to the master recording today on a good pair of headphones, you’ll notice how clean it is. James Anthony Carmichael insisted on a "dry" sound for the vocals. There isn't a ton of reverb washing Lionel out. It sounds like he’s sitting three feet away from you.
They recorded it at Motown Recording Studios (Hitsville U.S.A.) and the focus was entirely on the clarity of the piano. If that piano sounded "tinny" or too electronic, the whole mood would be ruined. They used a grand piano with specific mic placements to catch the hammer strikes—that's that "thump" you hear under the notes. It adds a percussive element to a song that lacks a heavy drum kit.
How to Appreciate the Song Today (Actionable Insights)
If you’re a musician or just a music nerd, there are a few ways to really "get" this song beyond just singing along at a karaoke bar.
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Look at the Dynamic Range
Go find a high-bitrate version or the original vinyl. Notice how the volume shifts. Modern music is often "brick-walled"—everything is the same loud volume. Three Times a Lady by Commodores breathes. It gets quiet where it needs to and swells when it matters.
Analyze the Lyric Economy
Lionel Richie is a genius of the "simple" lyric. He doesn't use big words. He doesn't use complex metaphors. He says "I love you." He says "You're every dream I've ever had." If you're a writer, study this. It’s incredibly hard to be that simple without being cheesy. He walks that line perfectly.
The Multi-Generational Test
Play this song for someone under 20 and someone over 70. Watch their reactions. It’s one of the few pieces of media from the late 70s that doesn't feel like a period piece. It doesn't scream "bell bottoms" or "polyester." It just screams "human emotion."
Next Steps for the Music Collector
To truly understand the impact of this track, don't just stream it on a "70s Hits" playlist.
- Listen to the full Natural High album. It's the album this song came from. Listening to it in context—sandwiched between funkier tracks—shows you just how brave it was to include a waltz on that record.
- Compare it to the live versions. There are recordings of the Commodores performing this live in the late 70s where the crowd noise almost drowns out the piano. It gives you a sense of the "Beatlemania" style fervor Lionel was starting to generate.
- Check out the covers. Everyone from Conway Twitty to Isaac Hayes has touched this song. Twitty’s country version actually proves that the songwriting is so sturdy it works across genres. If a song can be a soul hit, a pop hit, and a country hit, the "bones" of the song are perfect.
The song remains a staple because it captures a universal truth about gratitude in a relationship. It wasn't written to be a hit; it was written to honor a 37-year marriage. That's the secret. The honesty came first, and the charts followed.