It happens. You wake up, the sun is technically shining, but everything feels heavy. Gray. Like a thick wool blanket has been tossed over your brain and you can’t quite find the edge to throw it off. People have started using a specific phrase for this lately: there’s a darkness upon me. It isn’t always about a clinical diagnosis, though it certainly can be. Often, it’s just that visceral, bone-deep realization that things aren't okay.
Words matter. We used to just say "I'm stressed." Then we moved to "I'm burnt out." Now, we’re getting more poetic, or maybe just more honest, about the weight of existing in a high-speed, digital-first world.
The Anatomy of That Heavy Feeling
What are we actually talking about here? It’s that shadow. You know the one. It’s the feeling that your internal battery isn’t just low—it’s actually leaking.
When someone says there’s a darkness upon me, they are usually describing a state of "languishing." This isn't a term I just made up; sociologist Corey Keyes coined it to describe the void between depression and flourishing. You aren't necessarily "sad" in the traditional sense. You aren't sobbing into a tub of ice cream. You’re just... dimmed.
Think about the sheer volume of "micro-stressors" we hit every day. The average person checks their phone 58 times a day. Every notification is a tiny hit of cortisol. Over years, those tiny hits add up to a massive wall of noise. Eventually, the mind just decides to go on strike. It pulls down the shutters.
Is it Bio or Situational?
Sometimes it’s neither. Sometimes it’s both.
Medical experts like those at the Mayo Clinic often point toward a cocktail of causes for prolonged periods of low mood. It could be your Vitamin D levels tanking because you haven't seen a tree in three weeks. It could be a genuine chemical imbalance involving serotonin or dopamine. But more frequently in our current era, it’s "situational fatigue."
We are living through a period of "polycrisis." War, climate anxiety, inflation, the feeling that the social ladder has been pulled up—it’s a lot for a primate brain designed to only care about whether a tiger is in the bushes. When the tiger is everywhere and nowhere at once, the brain gets tired.
Why Social Media Makes the Darkness Feel Darker
There is a specific irony in the way we talk about the phrase there’s a darkness upon me on the internet. We go to the very places that make us feel like garbage to tell people we feel like garbage.
Algorithms are designed for engagement, not wellness. If you linger on a video about loneliness, the algorithm will feed you ten more. Suddenly, your entire digital world is a mirror of your worst internal thoughts. This creates a feedback loop. You feel the darkness, you seek community, the platform interprets your search as a "preference," and it traps you in a silo of sadness.
It's a trap. Honestly, it's a huge trap.
I’ve seen this happen to creators and "regular" users alike. There’s a pressure to perform even when you’re hollowed out. We see everyone else’s "highlight reel" while we’re stuck in our "behind the scenes" footage. That gap between our reality and their curated image is where the darkness likes to live.
The Physical Manifestation
It isn't just in your head. It’s in your shoulders. It’s in the way your jaw is currently clenched—go ahead, unclench it.
The phrase there’s a darkness upon me captures the physical reality of mental strain better than most clinical terms. Research published in The Lancet has shown that emotional distress often manifests as physical pain or lethargy. Your brain tells your body it’s under attack, and your body responds by trying to conserve energy. That’s why you feel like you’re walking through molasses.
Moving Through the Shadow
So, what do you actually do? "Just be happy" is the worst advice in the history of the world. It’s like telling a person with a broken leg to "just walk it off."
The first step is radical honesty. Acknowledging that there’s a darkness upon me isn't a defeat. It’s a status report. It’s the "Check Engine" light on your dashboard. You don’t ignore that light (well, most people shouldn’t), you pull over and figure out what’s wrong.
Small Wins vs. Big Changes
We usually try to fix our lives with massive overhauls. We buy a gym membership, start a diet, and delete all our apps on Monday. By Wednesday, we’re back on the couch.
Try the "Rule of One" instead.
- One glass of water.
- One five-minute walk.
- One text to a friend saying "I'm feeling a bit off."
Therapists often suggest "Behavioral Activation." It’s a fancy way of saying: do the thing first, and the motivation will follow. Usually, we wait to feel better before we act. In reality, we often have to act to feel better. It’s annoying. It’s difficult. But it works more often than it doesn't.
When to Seek Professional Insight
There is a line. If the darkness is preventing you from eating, sleeping, or functioning for more than two weeks, it’s time to call in the professionals. Places like the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) or the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) provide resources that go beyond a lifestyle blog.
Sometimes the darkness is a symptom of something that requires a medical intervention, not just a walk in the park. There is zero shame in that. We take aspirin for a headache; we should take the equivalent for a soul-ache.
The Cultural Impact of the Phrase
Why has this specific phrasing become a thing? It’s cinematic. It feels significant.
In a world of "likes" and "shares," being "a little sad" doesn't cut it. We want to express the gravity of our experience. Using the term there’s a darkness upon me gives a name to the nameless. It validates the experience.
It also connects us. When you say it out loud, you usually find someone else who says, "Me too." That shared recognition is one of the most powerful tools we have against isolation. We are social animals. We need to know that our cave isn't the only one that’s dark.
The Role of Art and Music
History is full of people describing this exact feeling. From Van Gogh’s letters to Sylvia Plath’s poetry, the "darkness" has always been a muse as much as a monster.
Maybe that’s the trick. Instead of fighting the shadow, we have to learn to sit with it for a minute. Listen to what it’s trying to tell us. Are we working too much? Are we lonely? Are we just bored? Sometimes the darkness is just a signal that we’ve drifted too far from the things that actually make us feel alive.
Taking Action Today
If you’re feeling it right now—that specific weight—don't try to fix your whole life today. That’s too much pressure.
Start by changing your immediate environment.
- Change the sensory input. If you’ve been in a dark room, turn on a warm light. If it’s quiet, put on some lo-fi beats or white noise.
- Move your frame of reference. Literally. Walk into a different room. Go outside for sixty seconds. The brain needs a "reset" signal.
- Limit the doomscrolling. Set a timer for 10 minutes on your social apps. When it dings, you're done. No exceptions.
- Hydrate. It sounds cliché, but dehydration mimics the symptoms of fatigue and low mood. Drink a big glass of water before you make any big decisions about your life.
The darkness isn't a permanent state. It’s a weather pattern. It’s a storm front that’s moved in, and while it might be raining right now, the sky is still there behind the clouds.
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Wait it out. Take care of the basics. Don't believe everything your brain tells you when it's tired. Most importantly, reach out to one person. You don't have to give a speech. Just tell them that there’s a darkness upon me, and let them be there with you in the quiet for a bit.
The sun always comes back up. It’s a cliché because it’s a physical law of the universe. Your internal sun works the same way. You just have to hang on until the rotation completes.
Practical Next Steps
Check your "social diet." For the next 24 hours, unfollow or mute three accounts that make you feel inadequate or anxious. Replace them with nothing. Let the silence be okay. Then, find one physical activity—be it stretching or a short walk—that you can commit to for just five minutes tomorrow morning. Small movements are the only way out of a big shadow.