Every great story usually starts with a simple premise. You’ve heard it a thousand times in coffee shops, bars, and movies. Someone leans in and says, "So, there was this woman and there was this man..." It’s the DNA of almost every romantic comedy, classic tragedy, and viral TikTok storytime ever created.
It's basic. It's human.
But why does this specific framing work so well for our brains? Honestly, it’s about the collision of two different worlds. When we hear about a man and a woman entering a narrative space, we immediately start looking for the friction. Is it love? Is it a heist? Are they about to ruin each other's lives in a spectacular way? We are hardwired to look for the "and then what happened" because our social evolution depends on understanding how individuals interact.
The Psychology Behind the "There Was This Woman and There Was This Man" Hook
Neurobiology tells us that our brains love a binary setup. It simplifies the initial landscape so we can focus on the complexity of the emotions. When a storyteller starts with "there was this woman and there was this man," they are setting up a stage with two distinct anchors. Research from the University of Princeton suggests that when we hear a story, our brain waves actually start to sync up with the storyteller’s through a process called neural coupling. By using a simple, relatable starting point, the speaker ensures the audience is already on the same page before things get messy.
Think about the most famous examples.
Take When Harry Met Sally. Nora Ephron didn't start with a complex political backdrop. She started with a car ride. One woman. One man. A bunch of grapes. That’s it. By stripping away the noise, the audience focuses entirely on the chemistry—or the lack thereof. It’s a trick that writers have used since the days of oral tradition.
If you look at the folk tales collected by the Brothers Grimm, many of them function on this exact polarity. It’s rarely about a crowd. It’s about the intersection of two lives that were never supposed to cross. This is why the phrase "there was this woman and there was this man" feels so timeless. It’s the "Once upon a time" of the modern, conversational era.
Why We Can't Get Enough of the Binary Collision
Sometimes, it’s just about the contrast. We love seeing how two people with different baggage, different ways of speaking, and different goals try to occupy the same room.
Think about the concept of "The Meet-Cute."
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Film historian David Bordwell has written extensively about narrative structure in classical Hollywood cinema. He notes that the "coincidence" is a vital tool. The coincidental meeting of a man and a woman provides a clean entry point for the viewer. We don't need a map. We just need to know who is in the frame.
It’s also about the stakes. When a story is reduced to just two people, every look, every sigh, and every word is magnified. There is nowhere to hide. If you add a third person, it becomes a triangle, which is a different beast entirely. If you add a crowd, it’s a social commentary. But with just two? It’s a mirror.
The Real-World Power of Simple Storytelling
I remember talking to a veteran screenwriter who told me that if you can't explain your movie's heart by saying "there was this woman and there was this man," you probably don't have a movie. You just have a premise.
Take the "Before" trilogy by Richard Linklater.
- Before Sunrise
- Before Sunset
- Before Midnight
These movies are literally nothing but the "there was this woman and there was this man" trope stretched across decades. There are no explosions. No high-stakes ticking clocks. Just two people talking. And yet, it’s some of the most compelling cinema of the last thirty years because it taps into the fundamental way we perceive our own lives. We see ourselves as the protagonists of a story that is usually defined by who we meet along the way.
Breaking Down the Narrative Gravity
Why does this specific setup rank so highly in our collective consciousness? It’s because it’s portable. You can tell a story starting with this phrase in a text message, in a screenplay, or over a beer.
- It establishes immediate focus. No world-building required.
- It creates instant tension. What do they want from each other?
- It allows for universal relatability. Almost everyone has been "the woman" or "the man" in someone else's story.
But let’s be real: sometimes this trope gets lazy.
The "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" or the "Brooding Loner" are just cardboard cutouts used to fill these roles. Expert critics like Emily VanDerWerff have often discussed how these archetypes fail when they don't give the characters actual agency. To make the "there was this woman and there was this man" setup work in 2026, the characters have to be more than just symbols. They have to be messy. They have to be wrong sometimes.
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What Most People Get Wrong About This Trope
People think this setup is only for romance.
That’s a mistake.
Some of the best "man/woman" stories are about rivalry, platonic partnership, or even mutual destruction. Look at Killing Eve. Look at the dynamic between Sherlock Holmes and Irene Adler (depending on which version you’re watching). It’s not always about a kiss at the end. Sometimes it’s about how two people who are fundamentally different manage to solve a problem that neither could handle alone.
Or look at the news. Think about the big legal battles or political rivalries that dominate the headlines. Often, the media strips away the complex policy details to focus on the personal conflict between two key figures. It’s the "there was this woman and there was this man" framing applied to the real world to make it more digestible for the public.
The Evolution of the "Man and Woman" Narrative in the Digital Age
Social media has changed the "there was this woman and there was this man" dynamic.
Now, we get it in fifteen-second bursts.
"Storytime" videos on TikTok often start with this exact hook to grab attention within the first three seconds. The "hook" is vital for the algorithm. By establishing the characters immediately, the creator ensures the viewer doesn't swipe away. We want to see the payoff. We want to see how the story ends.
But there’s a downside.
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This simplification can lead to "main character syndrome." We start to see people as NPCs (non-player characters) in our own story, existing only to fulfill a role in our "man meets woman" narrative. It’s a narrow way to look at the world, but it’s how our stories have been structured for thousands of years.
Actionable Insights for Storytellers and Content Creators
If you’re trying to use this trope in your own writing or marketing, don’t just lean on the cliché. Make it stick.
- Subvert the Expectation. If you start with "there was this woman and there was this man," make sure the next sentence isn't what people expect. Maybe they aren't falling in love; maybe they're competing for the same organ transplant.
- Focus on Specifics. "A woman" is boring. "A woman who smelled like old library books and burnt toast" is a character. Specificity is the antidote to the AI-generated feel of modern content.
- Use the Friction. A story where two people agree on everything is just a transcript. A story where they disagree on everything is a drama.
- Vary the Pace. Don't give everything away at once. Let the "and then" happen slowly.
The reason "there was this woman and there was this man" continues to dominate our culture isn't because we’re unoriginal. It’s because it’s the most efficient way to explore the human condition. It’s a blank canvas that can hold the weight of a thousand different genres.
Next time you’re watching a movie or reading a book, look for this skeleton. You’ll see it everywhere. From the high-brow literature of Sally Rooney to the latest blockbuster on Netflix, the core remains the same. It’s the meeting of two minds, two bodies, and two sets of problems.
Mastering the Connection
To really make this trope work, you have to understand the "Why" behind the meeting.
If there is no reason for these two people to be in the same story, the audience will feel it. There has to be a magnet pulling them together or a force pushing them apart. In the world of SEO and content, this is called "intent." In the world of storytelling, it’s called "stakes."
If you want to improve your narrative skills, start by observing the "there was this woman and there was this man" moments in your own life. Who was the stranger you sat next to on the bus? What was the dynamic between the two people arguing in the grocery store?
Start noticing the small details—the way they didn't make eye contact, or the way one person mimicked the other's body language. These are the things that turn a trope into a masterpiece.
Next Steps for Better Storytelling
- Analyze Your Favorite "Duo" Stories: Look at The X-Files or Parks and Recreation. See how they balance the two leads.
- Practice the "Two-Person" Prompt: Try writing a 500-word scene involving only two people in a single room. No flashbacks. No other characters. See how much tension you can build just through dialogue.
- Observe Real-World Dynamics: Spend 20 minutes in a public space and just watch how pairs interact. Note the power shifts.
- Study Non-Verbal Cues: Read up on the work of Joe Navarro regarding body language. It will help you write "the woman" and "the man" with much more depth than just their words.
This framing isn't going anywhere. It’s the foundation of how we explain our world to one another. Whether you're writing a screenplay or just telling a story at dinner, the power of these two characters is the most potent tool in your kit. Use it wisely, and don't be afraid to make it messy. Real life is rarely a clean "there was this woman and there was this man" story, and your writing shouldn't be either.