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You see a guy walking down the street with a mustache shaped like a bicycle wheel or a beard woven into the shape of a birdcage, and your first thought is probably: "How?" Your second thought is likely: "Why?"
It’s easy to dismiss the World Beard and Mustache Championships as a quirky side-show for people with too much free time and a lot of extra-hold hairspray. But if you actually spend five minutes talking to a competitor, you realize it’s basically the Olympics of grooming. These people are athletes in their own right, and the dedication is honestly kind of terrifying.
The competition has been around in various forms for decades, but it really blew up when the World Beard and Mustache Association (WBMA) started standardizing things. It isn't just about who can grow the longest hair. It’s about architecture. It’s about precision. It's about staring at a mirror for six hours while your arms go numb because you're trying to get a curl perfectly symmetrical.
The Brutal Reality of Competition Categories
Most people think you just show up and show off. Nope. The WBMA breaks things down into three main groups: Moustaches, Partial Beards, and Full Beards. Within those, there are about 20 different sub-categories.
Take the "Dali" mustache, named after Salvador Dali. There are strict rules. The tips must be pointed. You can't use extensions. If your mustache starts growing from too far out on your cheek, you’re disqualified from that specific category. It’s that granular. Then you have the "Freestyle" categories. This is where the madness happens. This is where you see guys turning their facial hair into the Golden Gate Bridge or a literal octopus.
In the Freestyle Full Beard category, anything goes regarding styling aids. We’re talking wax, wire, hairspray, and sometimes even structural supports hidden deep within the hair. It’s basically structural engineering using keratin.
Honest talk? The judging is subjective as hell. You have a panel of judges looking at "overall appearance," "style," and "personality." You can have the most technically perfect Fu Manchu in history, but if you look like you're miserable on stage, you’re going to lose points.
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It’s Actually a Global Circuit
This isn’t just a one-off event. While the "World" championships usually happen every two years, the circuit is constant. You have the Nationals in the US, the British Championships, and massive events across Germany and Austria.
Germany is actually where a lot of this started. The first formal club, the First Höfener Beard Club, was founded in 1987. They take it seriously. There’s a certain "Old Guard" vibe in Europe where the focus is on traditional, perfectly groomed styles like the "Verdi" or the "Garibaldi."
Meanwhile, the American scene, led by groups like the Austin Facial Hair Club, tends to be a bit more rowdy and experimental. When the World Championships hit places like Anchorage, Alaska (2009) or Austin, Texas (2017), the energy shifted. It became less about stuffy tuxedo-wearing and more about the "Whiskerina" movement—women competing with incredibly creative handmade "beards" made of everything from lace to silverware.
The Logistics of Growing a Champion
You don't just decide to win a world title six months out. You’re looking at years of growth. A "Full Beard Natural" competitor might have been growing their beard for a decade.
Maintenance is a full-time job.
- Diet: Many competitors swear by high-protein diets and biotin.
- The "Sleep Problem": If you have a two-foot-long beard, you can't just roll around in bed. You have to learn to sleep in ways that don't cause breakage.
- Washing: You don't just use Head & Shoulders. We’re talking high-end oils, specialty washes, and conditioners that cost more than a nice steak dinner.
The toll on the skin is real too. Keeping the skin underneath several pounds of hair healthy requires constant vigilance. If you get "beard-druff" or a rash on competition day, the judges will see it under the bright stage lights.
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Why Do They Do It?
It's not for the money. There isn't a multi-million dollar Nike endorsement waiting at the end of the World Beard and Mustache Championships. Mostly, you win a trophy, a certificate, and some serious bragging rights in a very specific corner of the internet.
It's about the "Beardos." That's what they call themselves. It's a community of misfits, artists, and enthusiasts. There’s a weirdly wholesome brotherhood (and sisterhood) involved. You’ll see two guys competing head-to-head for a title, and ten minutes later, one is helping the other fix a drooping curl with a blast of Got2B Glued hairspray.
There's also a massive charity component. Most local and national competitions are fundraisers. The 2023 championships in Burghausen, Germany, and the various US Nationals have raised tens of thousands of dollars for veterans’ groups, animal shelters, and cancer research.
Common Misconceptions That Drive Competitors Crazy
People think it's dirty. It's usually the opposite. These beards are cleaner than the hair on most people’s heads. If you have a "Natural" category beard, any speck of food or dust is a death sentence for your score.
Another one? "It must be itchy." If it's itchy, you're doing it wrong. Itching comes from dry skin. Competitive bearders are the masters of hydration. They use boar-bristle brushes to distribute sebum and oils perfectly.
Lastly, the idea that it’s all "masculine bravado." While there's plenty of Viking-adjacent imagery, the World Championships are remarkably inclusive. The rise of the "Creative" and "Realistic" craft beard categories for women and children has turned what was once a "Gentlemen's Club" into a full-blown family festival.
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What’s Next for the Scene?
The competition is getting more technical. We’re seeing more 3D-printing-inspired shapes and use of color. While the traditionalists hate it, the "Freestyle" evolution is what keeps the cameras coming back.
If you’re thinking about entering, don't start with the Worlds. Find a local "Beard and Moustache Club" in your city. They’ll teach you the difference between a Hungarian and an Imperial. They’ll tell you which waxes actually hold up under humidity and which ones will melt and leave you looking like a sad Salvador Dali painting.
The next World Championships are always a massive logistical undertaking, often moving between continents to keep the "World" part of the name honest. Whether it's in the mountains of Europe or a craft beer hub in the US, the goal remains the same: to prove that facial hair is an art form, not just a grooming choice.
Practical Steps for Aspiring Competitors
If you’re serious about competing in the World Beard and Mustache Championships, you need a game plan that goes beyond just throwing away your razor.
- Identify your category early. Don't try to grow a "Full Beard" if your mustache genetics are your strongest suit. Look at the WBMA guidelines and pick a target.
- Invest in the "Big Three": A high-quality boar-bristle brush, a wide-tooth wooden comb (to prevent static and breakage), and a fragrance-free beard oil for daily use.
- Find a specialist barber. Most "Great Clips" stylists aren't trained to shape a competitive Garibaldi. You need someone who understands "tapering" and "bulk management."
- Document your growth. Take photos every month. It helps you see where your hair is thinning or where it's growing faster, allowing you to adjust your styling strategy before you hit the stage.
- Practice the "Hold." If you're going for a Freestyle or a styled mustache, you need to know exactly how long your wax holds up under hot stage lights. Test your products in a warm room for at least four hours.
The world of competitive facial hair is weird, sweaty, and incredibly expensive, but for those who live it, there’s nothing quite like the feeling of a perfectly symmetrical curl. It's a weird kind of pride. You've spent years growing something out of your own face, and for one weekend, the rest of the world actually cares.