Honestly, most people hear the word "erotic" and immediately think of something illicit, or maybe just a spicy scene in a movie. They shut down. Or they giggle. But if you’ve ever sat down with the work of Audre Lorde—specifically her 1978 presentation at the Fourth Berkshire Conference on the History of Women—you know we’re talking about something way bigger than sex. We are talking about a literal source of power. It’s an internal sense of satisfaction that, once you’ve felt it, you realize you can't really live without.
The uses of the erotic aren't just about what happens in the bedroom. It’s about how you fold your laundry, how you write a report at work, and how you look at the sky. It sounds "woo-woo," I know. But it’s actually a very practical, grounded way to avoid burnout and clinical numbness.
Lorde’s argument was that we’ve been taught to suspect this resource. We’re told that being "professional" means being cold, and that feeling too much is a weakness. That’s a lie. In reality, that deep, internal "yes" is what keeps us from becoming robots.
Defining the Internal Resource
Let’s get one thing straight: the erotic and the pornographic are not the same thing. Not even close. In fact, Lorde argued they are opposites. Pornography is about sensation without feeling—it’s a representation of someone else's fantasy that usually emphasizes a lack of connection. The erotic, however, is a bridge between the physical and the spiritual. It’s that feeling when you’re doing something so well, or so fully, that you feel "right" in your own skin.
Think about the last time you were truly "in the zone." Maybe you were gardening. Maybe you were coding a complex piece of software and the logic just clicked. That surge of "aha!" is a manifestation of the erotic. It is an assertion of the lifeforce. When we suppress this, we don’t just become less "sexy"; we become less capable of excellence. We settle for "fine." And "fine" is a slow death for the soul.
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The Problem with the "Work-Life Balance" Myth
We talk about work-life balance like they are two different buckets. You’re miserable for 8 hours, then you try to squeeze all your "joy" into the 4 hours before bed. It doesn't work. The uses of the erotic suggest that if we bring that sense of passion and high-level requirement for satisfaction into our daily tasks, the work itself changes.
You stop accepting boring, soul-crushing tasks as a given. You start asking, "Why am I doing this?" This is exactly why the erotic is considered dangerous by certain corporate or political structures. If you are in touch with what actually feels good and right, you are much harder to manipulate. You can't be bought off with a pizza party if your soul is screaming for meaningful engagement.
A Quick Reality Check on Clinical Numbness
Psychologists often see a rise in "anhedonia"—the inability to feel pleasure. This isn't just a symptom of depression; it’s often a result of over-functioning. We spend so much time doing what we "should" do that we lose the map to what we "want" to do. Reclaiming the erotic is basically the clinical antidote to this numbness. It’s a sensory re-awakening.
How the Uses of the Erotic Influence Creativity
Creative blocks are rarely about a lack of ideas. They are almost always about a disconnection from the self. When you are tapped into the erotic, you aren't afraid of the "messiness" of creation. You aren't just trying to produce a product; you are experiencing the process.
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Take a look at the history of Great Works. Whether it’s the visceral poetry of Pablo Neruda or the intense, almost spiritual commitment of a chef like Alice Waters, there is a common thread. They aren't just "talented." They are obsessed with the feeling of the thing. They use the erotic as a barometer for quality. If it doesn't vibrate with that internal energy, it isn't finished.
- It’s the difference between a house and a home.
- It’s the difference between a job and a calling.
- It’s the difference between eating for fuel and dining for joy.
Resistance Through Joy
Historically, marginalized groups have used the erotic as a form of political resistance. When the world tells you that your life doesn't matter, or that you should be a servant to a system, finding joy is an act of rebellion. This isn't just theoretical. During the Civil Rights Movement, music and communal joy weren't just "distractions"—they were the fuel. They were the uses of the erotic in a collective form.
If you can find a way to love yourself and your work in a world that doesn't want you to, you’ve won. That’s the power of the erotic. It’s an internal power that no boss, government, or algorithm can take away from you. It is your private reserve of "hell no" and "absolutely yes."
Practical Ways to Reconnect
You don’t need to go on a retreat or quit your job to start using this. It starts with small, almost invisible shifts in how you perceive your day. It’s about demanding a higher level of feeling from your own life.
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- Audit your "numb" moments. Keep a mental note of when you feel like you’re on autopilot. Is it during your commute? While scrolling? Challenge yourself to find one sensory detail in that moment—the way the steering wheel feels, the smell of the air—and really lean into it.
- Stop settling for "good enough" in your hobbies. If you’re going to paint, paint with everything you have. If you’re going to cook, taste every ingredient. Don't just go through the motions.
- Acknowledge the "Yes." When something feels genuinely good—a conversation, a sunset, a solved problem—pause. Let that feeling expand. This is "charging the battery" of the erotic.
- Question the "Shoulds." We often do things because we think we have to. Ask yourself: "Does this task diminish me or expand me?" Obviously, we all have to pay taxes and do dishes, but if 90% of your life is diminishing you, you have an erotic crisis on your hands.
The Connection Between the Erotic and Excellence
There is a weird misconception that being "in touch with your feelings" makes you soft. It’s the opposite. People who utilize the erotic are usually the most disciplined and excellent people in the room. Why? Because they have a higher standard for satisfaction. They won't turn in a project that feels "off" because it literally hurts their soul to do so.
When you use the erotic as a lens, you become a perfectionist of the spirit. You aren't doing it for the boss’s approval; you’re doing it because the act of doing it well feels incredible. It transforms labor into a form of self-expression.
Final Actionable Insights
To truly integrate the uses of the erotic into your life, you have to be willing to be a little uncomfortable. It’s much easier to stay numb. Numbness is safe. Feeling is risky.
Start by identifying one area of your life where you have "checked out." Maybe it’s your fitness routine or your morning coffee. Tomorrow, approach that one thing with the intention of maximum sensory and emotional connection. Notice the textures, the sounds, the internal emotional response.
By consistently choosing to feel rather than just perform, you build a reservoir of self-knowledge. This knowledge becomes a compass. It will tell you when a relationship is wrong, when a career move is right, and when you are finally living a life that is truly your own. Stop treating your joy like a luxury. It’s a necessity for survival in a world that wants to turn you into a spreadsheet.
Next Steps for You:
- Identify one task today that you usually do on "autopilot."
- Commit to performing that task with 100% sensory engagement.
- Observe the difference in your energy levels afterward.